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christine215's avatar

Have you ever "gone psycho" on someone?

Asked by christine215 (3173points) October 12th, 2009

I have an older sister that “flips out” all the time… she once threw an entire pizza at my other sister because they were arguing over… God knows what. (this was as an adult, not a teenage thing.. I won’t even BEGIN to tell you about broken doors, windows, mirrors, black eyes, etc, from her teenage years)

Yesterday morning, after a fight with my husband that spilled over from Saturday night, I chucked an entire Jewish Apple cake that I baked for him into the trash… ok, so maybe not completely PSYCHO… but it’s about the most deranged thing I’ve done as an adult in an argument. I felt quite out of control… and it was scary to me.

Do you ever get out of control in an argument? Have you ever just totally flipped out and gone psycho? What happened? Do you think that it’s ‘normal’ to happen every once in a while?

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28 Answers

poofandmook's avatar

yup. My most recent ex was being especially cruel, and he was saying that he’s tired of cleaning up my mistakes from my previous relationship. I told him that I already paid for those mistakes, and things that happened before I knew he existed were none of his business… and he said they were his problems now because I was careless then, and that I owed him several apologizes for X, Y, and Z that happened before I knew him. I went nuts and started pounding on his back… mostly to avoid hitting him in the face. It’s the only time in my life I’ve ever gotten even remotely violent during a fight… but even now I’d say he deserved it.

wundayatta's avatar

Once I flipped out—at least, for me it was flipping out. I got really hardass on my son with respect to his piano practicing. He was crying, and I was convinced he wasn’t trying. I just screamed at him, and then I realized I was totally out of line. But I was so angry. I just left the house and went walking for a couple of hours. I was like, “I’ll just leave because no one wants me here.”

It turned out later that that was a symptom of mental illness. Being totally out of control is unusual. There is always the possibility that it does have an organic cause—either a mental or a physical illness affecting the brain.

I think it all depends on circumstances and patterns of behavior. How far out of line is this for you? Do you regularly lose it, or is this really unusual? What do you do in your anger? Is it just a reaction to what is going on or is it a sign of something deeper?

In my case, it was very unusual, and I caught myself doing it. It was scary to see it because I didn’t recognize myself. It turned out to be a sign of very deep problems, but I didn’t know that at the time. As experiences go, I don’t recommend it.

CMaz's avatar

I chased a guy out of a bar once with a chair. Was so pumped up, as he ran out the door and it closed. I continued to plow through the door with the chair.

DominicX's avatar

Well, I know once at school I had been sick for a week and went back because I felt better but then in the middle of the day I started feeling feverish and I was angry about it because I thought I was finally done being sick. My friend David kept trying to trip me or something in the hall (this is a guy I’ve been friends with for a long time—no negative feelings about him) and I turned around and shoved him and said “god damn you, leave me alone!”. Keep in mind this guy is 5’11” and a football player and I’m freakin’ 5’4” at the time and skinny as a wire. But I knew no one was looking for a fight. Never done anything like that before; it was the one of the few times I’ve ever been angry at one of my friends to their face and the only time I’ve ever reacted physically. I was done being angry a second after I did it and he now refers to it as the “time I flew off the handle”. lol

I’ve fought with my brother and shoved him against a radio-stereo thing sitting on a desk and it fell off and broke. I’ve also had arguments with my parents and been so angry that I’ve slammed doors or thrown things against a wall like a book or something.

I’ve gone psycho on people on the internet, does that count? That’s usually characterized by my usage of the word “cunt”.

IBERnineD's avatar

I used to be a “container” when I was younger, so I experienced a lot of outbursts that involved breaking or throwing mostly office supplies. (Staplers, pens, desks etc.) Luckily I am over that. If a person has really pissed me off I will have no qualms about telling them to their face. That hasn’t happened since my freshman year of high school though, because now I have the habit of feeling bad for someone who feels it’s necessary to act or talk about people a certain way. Nowadays if I flip out it actually consists of me becoming scary rather than screaming. I am a happy person and because my ranting about people is actually more funny than angry, people tend to get freaked out when I am mad. My voice lowers, I get very calm, and unusually strong.

A girl borrowed a paint brush from me in class once and returned it by throwing at my face. I gave her a look and told her to go get because I wasn’t going to run after it, I laughed. I turned around to talk to a friend and the girl came back with the paint brush, and I guess as a “joke” started jabbing it up my butt. Without thinking, I grabbed the girl’s arm and twisted as I turned to her. I very calmly said, “I am all about being friendly, but no one is allowed to touch me in that manner without permission. Do you understand this is inappropriate especially considering I just lent you something and that we are in public? I need you to evaluate what you just did, and program in your head that you are never, never, to even consider doing this to me again. Do you understand?” She nodded. I let go, said thank you, and went on with the conversation I was having without missing a beat.
The girl didn’t give me any problems after that and we were actually quite civil to to each other, I even let her borrow more paint brushes. I also apologized for the bruising.

ru2bz46's avatar

I once tried to leave the apartment and cool off for a while during an argument, but my SO didn’t want me to walk out and kept blocking the door with her body. I didn’t want to push her aside in my agitated state, so the pressure kept building. After I pulled my foot out of the newly made hole in the back of the sofa, she understood why I wanted to leave.

justus2's avatar

Yea my ex boyfriend, I threw my cd case at him and tried to smack him, I felt like it was the only way to defend myself against the scary way he talked to me.

aprilsimnel's avatar

No. I’ve yelled at people, but I’ve never flipped out. I grew up with one of those flipper-outers and I vowed I’d never go that route when my desires were thwarted or when I was angry.

christine215's avatar

@daloon for me, this was completely out of character. Lack of sleep I think was the biggest contributor, and the REASON for the lack of sleep (we had an argument late Saturday night, I decided to sleep on the couch, but didn’t fall asleep until like 4am… at 6:00 am my husband woke me up quite rudely with some smart ass comment about trying to gain sympathy by sleeping on the couch.

I generally am the type to walk away from situations, rather than to let them escalate to the point of acting like a stark raving mad woman

It was a little scary for me, to flip the F# out that way, mostly because I’ve seen my sister hurt people (I’ve been on the receiving end of this…) she’s broken doors, put holes in walls, broken windows, took a hammer to her wedding portrait and some other sentimental things and threw them on the front porch of her estranged husbands house, when she found out that he started dating someone. She dislocated my shoulder once by slamming the front door on me, when I was trying to leave her house.

I grew up with her exhibiting this behavior (she’s 7 years older than me) and it never went away, even into her adulthood, it still rears its ugly head (hence my nickname for her is the “evil one” or “she whose name shall not be repeated”) so I’ve seen how ugly it can be and I generally try to keep myself in check

LC_Beta's avatar

No, I never have, but there have definitely been times when I was so frustrated or angry (“had it up to here” seems to be an accurate phrase) that the only thing I wanted to do was throw something through a window or knock everything off a shelf or kick in a door. I usually just try to breathe deep at that point and walk away for a while. I just try to tell myself that it would only make me feel better for a moment, and would make things that much worse in the long run.

I have, however, gone verbally ape-shit on strangers (though never a friend or family member.) One of those I verbally destroyed was a guy who was in the midst of stealing my bicycle. And I got my bike back :)

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Yes. I was once sick and expected my then husband to drop what he was doing with friends of ours out of town and rush home to put up with me. When he didn’t show up within a few hours, I called him, flipped out and then in anger I hacked up our kitchen counter with a huge ass butcher knife. I think I spotted that very knife in his kitchen the last time I visited. Another time I grew irritated with an SO of mine who wouldn’t stop talking to me (arguing) when I asked him to walk away and I ended up throwing a pizza cutter down hard enough into the sink to where it bounced up at hit him in the face. He insisted I threw it at him but it wasn’t true and I did feel badly about the scene. Since then I’ve not had violent outbursts, they’re too emotionally costly because some hurts you can’t apologize for, can’t take back, they can’t be forgiven.

Naked_Homer's avatar

I did once. My whole life my twin brother had sort of used me to create a better him. Make himself look cooler, seem smarter, better at sports. And it worked for the most part. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. He would verbally push me to the limit and cross lines he knew I wouldn’t because I wouldn’t. He would make things up to make himself feel better. He was very much like the evil characters in books and movies before they get their cumuppins. I never crossed the lines verbally. Physically we were to equal to fight. For the most part he didn’t fight dirty. When he did, he had to fight dirty to win but would only do so if he could get away before I got up.

One morning in college I reached my limit. I don’t remember what it was he said but he was being sarcastic and smarmy any condescending and all those years of being his foot stole and the good guy and following the rules while he didn’t blew up. I finally lost it.

I started beating the hell out of him. I trough him through the closet door. Picked him up and through him into the side of the lofts. I slammed him into the solid wood door of the dorm room then through him on the ground. Picked him up and was about to continue when the resident manager came in and tried to break it up. He walked in thinking his presence would do it but I through my brother through the doorway into the door across the hall and started walking after him. Finally 3 guys pulled me off of him.

My brother has credited that incident for changing his life. He said that if he could push someone like me to that point, he wasn’t living right. And changed the way he lived from that point on. I don’t remember much about how things were in the room for a while after that.

IBERnineD's avatar

On a lighter note, my father once got so angry with my sisters and I that he went to his room and puched a hole in the wall. When my mom saw what he did she insisted he patch up the hole. Well, he patched up the hole, but accidently filled it with rubber cement.

Val123's avatar

It happens…there is a danger though, it that it could become a habit, so try to walk away instead….

Naked_Homer's avatar

@Val123 – That is a GREAT point.

Val123's avatar

@Naked_Homer Thanks! My mom had some real issues with going psycho on us. It became almost a matter of course for all of us that that’s how we’d act….I had to consciously change that tendency because it’s a horrible way to raise a kid. Thankfully my dad was of a much calmer temperament. I can’t imagine the outcome if both he and mom were violent….

Naked_Homer's avatar

@IBERnineD – I am curious what your follow up would be here

Naked_Homer's avatar

@IBERnineD – I mean if she continued her horse play. Sorry, unclear there.

IBERnineD's avatar

@Naked_Homer oh, I’m not sure, my initial reaction was so knee jerk. I have never thought about what I would have done if she had done it again.

Naked_Homer's avatar

@IBERnineD – Ah, just curious.

What I like about it the fact that you did it all without stringing a bunch of fowl language together. Greater impact in my opinion.

IBERnineD's avatar

@Naked_Homer She sure thought so too lol

sandystrachan's avatar

I flip quite alot , :
In secondary school some guy thought he was the tough guy, cause he smoked dope and whatnot and hanged with the druggie hard guys well he was doing that towel flick against someone . I told him to stop a few times being the hard man he never listened , inturn he flicked me it just missed my face . So i grabbed him by the throat slammed him against the clothes pegs and onto the bench , i put all my weight on him all sounds went like an echo . As i looked around i saw many a shocked face from the class and heard get him off , he has went nuts get him off him i have never seen him act like that before . It took the whole class of boys to get me off him , when i looked at the guy as i was getting up his face was turning blue . Luckily he was ok and no damage was done , he did say tho me you at break time i never went he had all his druggie friends , i wasnt gonna go into that trap

I have punched through a wall during my sleep , ran through a thin wooden door once to get to someone during an argument .

ubersiren's avatar

Twice that I can really think of. The first time was when my ex-boyfriend was being a general annoyance. I apparently wasn’t paying enough attention to him, so he smacked me really hard on the ass. I’m not really sure what set it off, as that action on another day I would’ve interpreted as playful. It did seem a harder smack than usual. Anyway, I was so adrenaline filled that I grabbed him by the shirt and belt loop and physically removed him from my house.

Second time was more recent. Again, an annoyance- this time my son. He was having one of those terrible two’s days. Whining no matter what, throwing things, being destructive… then, he jumped from one end of the couch to where I was sitting and head butted me right in the nose. I heard a crack and I saw stars. It hurt so bad that I just screamed a guttural “Oooowwww!!!” It startled my son and I didn’t care. I had to run outside to finish my “tantrum.” After I got everything out (including blood) I felt horrible for losing my shit in front of my little boy. I guess on both occasions, I was at my emotional limit and it just took a little physical pain to just lose my mind.

Ok, the second one I didn’t really go psycho on him.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

I rarely get angry, but when it spills out, it becomes a tsunami. It’s always based on frustration. Thankfully, it’s not very often, because I don’t enjoy it. I usually have to physically work my way through it by cleaning, organizing, etc. I always apologize. Nothing I could say or do would have an impact on the situation.

I have, in spite of circumstance, a high level of commitment to partnership that is not shared. As a result, I feel as if I’m objectified, and am regarded as means to getting things done-house cleaned, bills paid, meals cooked, laundry, car repair, yard work, etc- that is purchased by a greater financial contribution than I make to the household. It is felt that the greater financial contribution purchases abdication responsibility of having to share any of the household workload.

filmfann's avatar

No, I am Mr. Under-Control.
My daughter, however, is Queen Flip-Out.
She has scars from bottles broken over her head in bar-fights, her voice is muted due to a broken nose from a fight years ago. Usually it involves alcohol and the Raiders.

Facade's avatar

No. I tend to lose all physical strength when I’m angry. I just end up sobbing.

Naked_Homer's avatar

I forgot to mention that I am not proud of this response.

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