I need advice on how to handle a delicate 'relationship' problem?

I always say go for it, especially after you’ve made sure, through introspection, that what you’re feeling is intense love

I know what you are saying. I sometimes throw the idea at my ex wife.

I understand why she is not receptive. Her on with a new life and does not need the distraction.
Besides, it does not take long for her to remind me why I divorced here to begin with.

But if you really feel that way. Ya have to throw it on the wall and see what sticks.
Cant hurt. Just be mature about what the outcome and answer might be.

I would only do it if you have both resolved the issues that led to the break-up in the first place. Why whack your head against the same wall again?

You’ll never know until you try. If things DON’T work out, then you’ll know for sure. But you can’t live with ‘what if’s’. Talk to this person & see how they feel. Be prepared for it to go south. But find out. You may be pleasantly surprised. I’d definitely give it a go.

Go for it. The worst that can happen is you walking away never having to second guess yourself.

I think it depends on the circumstances of the breakup. Were you the one to break it up, or did they break up with you?

If you broke it up, and they weren’t happy with it, then you probably have a better chance of being received well. You can try to sell the “I made a mistake” excuse. “I didn’t know what I had.” On the other hand, your ex may want to protect themselves from you again. Still, I think the power is on your side, and the ex may welcome another chance.

If they broke up with you, then it will be harder. I suppose you can try to sell the idea that you have changed, and will not bother them in ways you had before. But what if they lost interest in you, or no longer found you attractive, physically, emotionally, intellectually, or any combination of the above? You’ll have a hard time getting them back, except perhaps as an emotional or sexual dishrag—or if they decide they made a mistake, but haven’t reached out because they don’t want to put you in a position where you may get hurt again. Self-respect would seem to dictate that you don’t even try.

Is it fair? Well, supposedly in love, all is fair. It’s your feelings and your life to do with as you see fit. Yes, there is a risk, but then life is always risky. Some people try to avoid risk, but without emotional risk, is it possible to find deep love? Love requires vulnerability, which is always risky.

If you care about them, that’s a good thing. I think I would show my interest, but in interests of fairness, I would not try to sell them the idea. I would just say I was interested in trying again, and then leave it up to them to make a decisions without further information. If they ask “why,” then you can offer reasons. Otherwise, respect their first impulse.

Of course, if you really do love them, it will be hard to do the ethical thing in leaving them as much choice as possible. So you go for it. Part of me thinks that if you even can ask this question, then your feelings aren’t strong enough to try again. You should be very clear on this—that you will not let any obstacles get in the way. You totally love them enough that there is no question but that you should try.

They call it a break up because the relationship is broken.

Maybe you’re still in love but it doesn’t sound like the other is.
Calling up and professing your love almost always results in failure.
Desperation is serious relationship-repellent.

Think about why you broke up in the first place. Even if you did get back together, would you want to fall back into the same patterns that led to your first break up?

It takes more than fond feelings to make a relationship successful… so as others have suggested, you must be sure that you’ve addressed your part in the issues that led to the original breakup.

You might also want to consider couples therapy to help the two of you put the past behind you and to learn better ways to communicate, so that molehills don’t become mountains in the future.

I’m a never-say-never type of person. It’s been several months since my last serious relationship ended, and I have gone on with my life – because after a while you realize that life does go on! I’ve been going out and dating, but haven’t started anything serious… so if my ex approached me with a sincere apology and a heartfelt explanation of why he did the things he did, I’d give him the benefit of the doubt.

You never know until you try… but you’d best be certain that your willing to work at doing things right this time.

You live once. If your gut is telling you, more pushing/pleading, to do it then do it. I have always found that more regreat lies in never knowing then having tried and failed. Strive for your happiness in life and the things that will truly make you happy will fall into place! Good luck!! – LB

Why did you break up in the first place? Whose decision was it? Are what ever problems you had now resolved? If you really love them, maybe it would be worth it to put it out there. It takes the risk of people getting hurt to find love.
Even if you both agree to it there is always that chance that the problems that were once there are going to be there again. Are they something you two could work through? if you think that you could, go for it! good luck :)

I did this exact same thing, and she threw a maaaaajor bombshell at me, in order to hurt me. But when she did, the 7 years before that all of a sudden made sense, and I tolde her I could get past it to try again. Since then, we have had our second son, but some major problems keep staying around. SO I guess I am saying, go for it, but make sure you see the whole picture first.

Being in love with someone has nothing to do with the relationship working.
If it is obvious you two together won’t gel, you need to move on.

It sounds like you broke up with him….? By the way you phrased the question…?

Anything is possible….you can put your cards on the table…however….be sure that you are doing this because you truly, truly want to give it a go. Do not do it if you are just finding out that you are lonely and that maybe that cute person you spotted at the supermarket and left him for turned out to be a no-go.

Be absolutely clear when you decide to throw your cards (and I would talk to a counselor before you did this to make sure of your reasons) on the table. Then, take it very, very slowly…..go on a date….walks, talk…don’t give the old mattress a tumble for a while . There is a lot of pain to be exorcised

Good luck.

“I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she’s yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.”

I don’t think that you should throw the situation at your ex so quickly…don’t jump in with “I love you”..they may not believe you because of the randomness or timing, but i do think that if you do love them to be persistant. Just beware of hold bold you are…