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gussnarp's avatar

What is the etiquette of adding people to your fluther?

Asked by gussnarp (2835points) October 20th, 2009

A few people have added me to their fluthers, and I have added no one to mine. I’ve seen another question on what it means to add someone to your fluther, but nothing on etiquette. If you add someone and they secretly don’t like you will they be upset? Should you care? Should you add to your fluther everyone who adds you to theirs, unless you dislike them?

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20 Answers

sandystrachan's avatar

Add those that you like , if someone adds you and you don’t want to add them > Well thats simple don’t add them , why would you adding someone make them upset ( even if they don;t like you ) . Does it really matter if people add you or not , the main thing is you are adding and doing the usual fluther stuff . It’s their waste if they do not want to add you and should be left alone

wundayatta's avatar

I think we all feel a subtle pressure to reciprocate when someone is kind enough to add us to their fluther. If I don’t know someone, then I don’t feel an obligation. If I do know someone, but I’m not very fond of them (I don’t really have any of those), then I will resist that obligation. If I know someone and I like them, I will reciprocate. And then there are those people who I add to my fluther just because I really like the things they say or because we have a personal relationship.

drClaw's avatar

I just add people when what they write interests or impresses me. The same goes for if someone really gets under my skin, I remove them. On Fluther it shouldn’t be something you over think, adding someone just means you will be alerted when they write a question, so find people with similar interests and don’t worry about it too much.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I add the people whose questions or answers I enjoy. Simple as that. I don’t add people just because they have added me.

Dog's avatar

Like dr.Claw and the others if a person has great answers or questions I will add them if I remember to.

mattbrowne's avatar

Well, I’ve reached the limit and I still want to add people. It would be great to have a “sort by last login date” feature. Some people don’t use Fluther anymore or not very often (without deleting their account), but I added them at some point.

tedibear's avatar

Re-read what Leann1986 said. That’s what I do. As well, when there was the whole Askville issue (which I will not revisit) I added my Askville friends to my Fluther just so I could find them.

jackm's avatar

I still new so I just kind of add people who interest me in some way.

patg7590's avatar

@mattbrowne there’s a limit? What is it?

hearkat's avatar

@patg7590: this is the first I’ve heard of it too! A Fluther-limit?

Aethelwine's avatar

@patg7590 & @hearkat There is a limit. I’ve reached it myself. I’m not exactly sure how much it is but I do know it is slightly over 100. Also, if someone in your fluther deletes their account and you are at the limit, you need to delete someone else if you would like to add someone new. Example: Zen was in my fluther, he deleted his account and created NewZen. In order for me to add NewZen I had to delete someone else. This was hard because I enjoy everyone in my fluther, but like @mattbrowne I just searched for someone that hasn’t logged in for some time now.

Darwin's avatar

@jonsblonde – You couldn’t just delete Zen and add NewZen?

DominicX's avatar

Why do people always put too much thought into this? I just add people who add me or I add people I like. Not a big deal! :)

Aethelwine's avatar

@Darwin Once he deleted his account he was no longer in my fluther. Same with Bri_L and Madcapper, to name a few. You would think that would free up some space to add new people, but it doesn’t.

patg7590's avatar

@jonsblond what ever happened to Bri_L?

Aethelwine's avatar

@patg7590 He needed a break. I’ll pm you.

filmfann's avatar

I don’t add people to my fluther because I agree with them. I find their answers interesting, or amusing. Many of my fluthers are people I have strong disagreements with, but I understand their points of view.

Jeruba's avatar

I don’t think there is a governing etiquette. I think people pretty much have their own customs and practices and you can’t draw inferences about other people’s based on your own.

As for me, I don’t feel that it’s tit for tat. If someone who adds me is very new or I haven’t happened to see enough of the person’s posts to form an impression, I wait until I have a sense of who the person is. Whether or not I add someone is usually not in any way dependent on whether or not the person has added me. Yes, I do take it as a compliment, but I am not compelled to return a compliment for a compliment. I prefer just to say a sincere thank-you.

To me, adding someone isn’t it isn’t about reciprocity, and it isn’t a reward, a personal recommendation, or an overture of friendship (although I might have very friendly feelings toward the person). It’s mainly because I want to be able to find them again easily, because I am interested in and admire their comments or for some other reason.

mattbrowne's avatar

Well, the database folks should worry about referential integrity.

Zen_Again's avatar

I like to welcome new jellies when I catch them – and being added to a fluther and a little greeting usually takes the edge off of joining fluther, which can be an overwhelming experience.

I joined once upon a time in the great wave and had a few people not personally welcomed me, I might have found it too difficult to adapt. So my fluther is always full – and to make room, I just delete those who have been inactive and unresponsive. So in my case, it isn’t personal at all, but rather a welcoming tool.

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