General Question

irocktheworld's avatar

What can I say to the guys that bother me without being too rude?

Asked by irocktheworld (2119points) October 20th, 2009

Every single freaking day when I’m in lunchtime at school,when I always walk past these group of rude guys,they always make fun of me and laugh!The worst part is that I don’t even know them!!!! One time my class walked past them and one guy was like “Big nose at 3 o clock!” it hurt my feelings!All you guys on fluther tell me to stick up for myself and be confident but it’s really hard to do if your dealing with a whole group of guys! I wanna yell at them or punch them but I wouldn’t want to be known as a mean girl because that is the opposite of what I am.What should I do this time? Should I tell a teacher?Should I keep trying to ignore it? Deal with it? What?

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24 Answers

irocktheworld's avatar

I’m helpless at this point.:(

Parrappa's avatar

Show a little sum sum. ;)

dpworkin's avatar

Any response, positive or negative, is satisfying to them, and will result in greater efforts on their part to harass you.

If you can manage it, my advice would be to give them nothing of any variety – not a glance, nod, shrug, alteration in body-language; just nothing. Flat affect. Soon they will get bored..

patg7590's avatar

@Parrappa thanks I just about sprayed frosted flakes all over my screen from reading that.

Allie's avatar

First, tell someone. See if an authority figure can get them to stop such childish behavior.
Second, stop and ask them what’s up. You might shock them at first and if they don’t have answers to your questions maybe they’ll realize they’re being asses and cease.
If all else fails, tell them to shut the fuck up and punch them in the face.~ =]

patg7590's avatar

tell them to shut the fuck up and punch them in the face.~ =]
yeah and when you get expelled, tell them that @Allie made you do it lol

irocktheworld's avatar

@pdworkin Ok,i’ll ignore and not even look them in the eye and I don’t but I’ll keep tryin! :)
@patq7590 and Allie thanks,will do! :) You guys made me smile =] Ok I will! I will ask someone and then if that doesn’t work,i’ll tell them to shut the fuck up! :)

buckyboy28's avatar

I would talk to a teacher and say what is happening, but tell her not to talk to them right away, but to keep an eye out for you. If you have the teacher approach them after class, things will only get worse for you, as they will go after you even worse than before for getting them in trouble, but if the teacher approaches them when they are doing it, they will be so embarrassed and stop.

filmfann's avatar

Say and do nothing. Anything you do will show them they got to you, and you don’t want that.
I know this is painful. Just remember those are rude guys, and have nothing to do with them.

majorrich's avatar

It may take a bit of preparation and timing, but try to fart just a few feet before them and drag the fumes through in your slip stream. I used to work in an office where it was great sport to go into someones office, fart then leave. I would go into my office and get hit by the fumes. Retribution took diet planning and iron will.

Zaku's avatar

Tell an adult.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@pdworkin has the right answer. People who do such things are not worthy of note.

dpworkin's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater You and I often seem to disagree (respectfully, of course) so I just want to mention what a pleasure it is to give you a GA.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@pdworkin When you’re right, you’re right. Don’t worry about disagreeing with me. I tend to have some strong opinions in certain subjects… often too strong.

wildpotato's avatar

I respectfully disagree with pdworkin and MineralWater. I tried ignoring people completely for years, and the torment continued. I think it’s not a response from you they are after so much as a response from their other buddies sitting there at the table – an answering “Har, har” from the other donkeys, if you will. So I see a few alternate options for you:

1) Follow Steve Martin’s lead in Roxanne. When the jerk at the table says “Big nose at 3 o’clock,” you start laughing derisively and say “Wow, is that the best you guys could come up with? You could have said… [insert one, some, or all of Martin’s nose jokes here].”

2) Play along in a sarcastic sort of way. Start laughing in an over-the-top manner when the jerk comes out with his line, and say “Wow, you are so incredibly funny! I can’t wait to hear the next hilarious thing you have to say! You should seriously be a stand-up comedian. I’m not even kidding.” Be really over-the-top with the sarcasm to make it plain as day that you are kidding.

Hopefully with one of these methods you’ll get his buddies to laugh along with you, at the jerk. Once the jerk feels the negative attention come from people he respects – the other donkeys – he’ll be much more likely to feel ashamed of himself and stop. Or you could:

3) Take it really seriously. If you’re from an ethnicity that is known for big noses, go straight to the principle or vice-principle and say you feel not just picked on, but systematically discriminated against. They will be afraid that your parents will sue the school, so they’ll actually do something major to the jerk like suspension. That ought to show those jackasses that you rock the world, and are not a force to be messed with.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@wildpotato offers some pretty good suggestions.. any of which may work. However, you will find that when one cockroach is “killed” another will appear.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

You could also say, “Boy, you guys have been saying that every day since school started, and I’m beginning to think your intelligence is really limited. Wouldn’t it be easier if you just said hi, and introduced yourselves?”

irocktheworld's avatar

Thanks everyone! :) You guys made me smile and I realized that you can just tell,swear,or say something back! I’m going to tell them to stop but would it be a good idea to say “Will you ever stop? Your soo annoying!” or should I stick with sarcasm? Thanks anyway! :) I appreciate all of you for caring and helping me out for my problems! :) Thanks so much :D
Im kind of insecure so this is kinda hard for me but I’m working on it! :)

wildpotato's avatar

@irocktheworld I’d say it depends on how well you think you can pull of the sarcasm. The danger is that if you’re unused to doing such things, and it comes off awkwardly, then it may result in the jerks being able to laugh at your failed attempt. However, from my experience I find that saying something like “Look, we’re all mature people here. Please stop.” doesn’t tend to work, because they are not in fact all that mature. Once, when people wouldn’t stop calling me a loser, I very seriously asked them “What have I lost?” and it just made them crack up and repeat my reply derisively over and over to one another. This makes me wary of engaging bullies as though they are sane and approachable. They cannot understand being talked to like regular human beings. If you’re a jerk back to them, at least they can understand that.

So I guess I’d go with the sarcastic approach, even though I’m guessing from your insecurity and kind manner here on fluther that such behavior doesn’t come naturally to you. Practice being over-the-top sarcastic on your friends and family first (and then tell them why you’re acting like a jerk afterwards), so it won’t be so hard to make the sarcasm look natural when you’re actually confronting the guys at school.

If you feel you would be more comfortable going with a serious reply, I think Pandora’s suggestion fits the bill nicely.

Clair's avatar

I used to be one of those people that would sometimes sit back and watch the passersby and make fun of them. (USED TO BE)
Ignore it. Trust me, it will make a bigger impact on them than anything. If they have any sense, it will haunt them the rest of their lives.
Being sarcastic or making a bigger joke than them will always work too. If you’re successful, you could be a bigger hit than the comedian guy and make him look like a douche.

airowDee's avatar

I honestly don’t know how to deal with school bullyings even till this day.

majorrich's avatar

I am going along with @wildpotato here. If you can make the ringleader look like a major tool, his toadies will stop supporting him. OR perhaps he likes you and doesn’t know how to approach you. That could be an avenue where you could really make him look foolish. If that is the case, you hold him in a position where you could destroy him utterly. It’s fun to have power

hookecho's avatar

Just tell the leader you understand why he’s hostile, those with small penisis have to compensate in some way.

wundayatta's avatar

So let’s think about these boys. Are they boys we should care about? Hmmmm. Yeah, we really like boys who have nothing better to do with their time than to harass other kids. We are totally enraptured with boys who can only think of telling someone they have a big nose.

Sheesh! I can’t think of any reason in the world you should give them a second thought. This is different from ignoring them. This is just not even seeing or hearing them. They have nothing to do with your life, and if they did, it would as objects of your pity.

Why are they picking on girls? Because they can’t stand up to anyone their own size. Because they are too stupid to think of anything better to do with their time. These boys, I’m afraid, are not even good enough to be lint on your favorite black sweater.

If you must talk to them, then I would opt for sarcasm. I would show both pity and compassion. Nod understandingly when they make their comments, saying things like were suggested above.

But my real point is you. You are the one who is bothered by these comments. They only make them to bother you. What I hope you understand is that these boys are beneath contempt. They are dust motes. Bacteria. Faint farts in the air. You might sniff and sniff, saying “there’s something weird smelling here. What is that? Smells like my brother’s farts.” Look around, but don’t even see them. Shrug your shoulders and walk on.

But really. They aren’t worth your time. You have better things to do. It’s not like you’re gonna go out on a date with one of them. I wouldn’t waste another thought on them. When they see you can’t be bothered, they’ll start going somewhere else.

If they do start being more annoying, then certainly you should tell a teacher.

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