What would actually happen if I called CPS about my situation?

Most likely they will come do a home visit and assess the situation. The laws in your state might not include not providing medication as neglect, however.

Your parents might have to take classes, you might be put on a watch, which would mean a worker would have to check-up on you.

Are you willing to put your parents and family in that situation? Talk about alienating yourself from your family

Do what you think you need to, just be ready for the consequences.

I know I would be in a awkward situation (to say the least) with my family. I know I might even be on TV (which would be kinda cool, you think, until there’s people posting ridiculous stuff about you online and TV vans in the yard). But somebody might call them about us and I want to know what to be ready for.

Go find a pay phone (they still have those, right?) and call them yourself, ask about your situation and what they will do, but don’t tell them who you are until you decide you want them to take action.

They would investigate. Come to your home interview you, your parents, and possibly your siblings. I think you will be able to be anonymous so your mom won’t know you made the call if you make the call, but your mom will probably assume no matter what that it has to do with something you said, so you will have to deal with that. You might be able to get a court order for your asthma medication, but I doubt it for the flu shot. Most of America still has not been able to get the H1N1 vaccine. I think the last I saw was about 50million vaccine are available (going up everyday), there are 300 million people in our country. So if the court orders your parents to give you asthma meds they must comply or deal with consequences from the court. I think It is very unlikely they would remove you from your home, unless there are other forms of abuse going on.

Did you try getting in touch with the doctor who prescribed medicine for you? I remember you said your mom won’t fill a prescription.

What are your exact reasons for calling CPS?
I can give you a few worst-case scenarios from personal experiences.
But I’m just trying to put together what your actual reasons for calling them are..

@gussnarp good idea. I don’t think there are many pay phones around anymore?? But you can block your caller ID. I think it is *70, but I would have to try it again, because I can’t remember 100%

I just saw your post about being on TV. Honestly, I doubt it would get that far. Unless you get really sick from not having a flu shot or something goes weird with your asthma.. It doesn’t seem like media would get involved.

and its *69

@rangerr She wants medicine for her asthma which seems to be acting up and is limiting her physical activity, and she wants the flu shots because she feels she is in a high risk group.

@rangerr I thought *69 was to find out the info on the last person who called.

Okay. I don’t see that being a CPS issue yet. I haven’t read the other post.. but have you sat down and talked with your parents about your concerns? Or the doctor?

@JLeslie it’s *67

I can’t talk to my parents about it. If you lived with them, you’d understand. I just want this cleared up. I want to be a normal kid again.

I called CPS on my parents when I was about 13 or 14 years old. They sent a case worker out to investigate. My parents told them what they wanted to hear. They left and never followed up. That’s just my experience. I’m sure things have changed and they are more thorough now. But…it did make for a very tense living situation. Be sure that you want to make that call before you do it.

I can understand that.. I’ve had to deal with CPS for reasons that I hope you never have to..

I just really think you should talk to them. One of your parents is generally easier to talk to than the other.. see if you can get one of them alone and just tell them. It’s going to suck. But you really should do that before you attempt to bring CPS into it.

It doesn’t sound like your life is in danger.. so I just don’t think it is wise to bring them into right now. Talk to your parents, a family friend or another relative first. Even call the doctor first and see if they can talk to your parents.

So obviously you went to a doctor, were diagnosed with asthma, and were issued a prescription. Has something changed that now you can’t go to a doctor or get the prescription filled? Perhaps you can use whatever methods got you to the doctor in the first place to get your prescription filled and get your flu shot?

(Actually, pneumovax is another good idea if you have asthma. I just got one yesterday.)

Here is the other side that few of stated but @sarahny points out well.

CPS is seriously overloaded with cases. They do not investigate all calls. In fact they do not investigate many calls. Most of the time when they do investigate they will do a brief home visit and if everything looks okay they will stop their investigation. The chances that they are going to do anything drastic are really not very large. Now if they did decide to proceed there are numerous ways it could go down from a pretty simplistic warning to your parents to completely removing you from the home. I think @gussnarp has a great idea, call anonymously and ask what they would do.
——

I really think that you need to find yourself an advocate. Find another adult who doesn’t share your mom’s beliefs that can help you. Is there something stopping you from doing this?

@sarah826 Think about it, either you will have to deal with trying to talk to your parents now, or deal with them reacting to the fact that CPS was called? Wouldn’t you rather try to talk to your parents now or, like @RedPowerLady said get another adult to help you? Do you have a relative, clergy, the doctor who has treated you (any doctor, it does not have to be the doctor your saw for asthma, but doctors will be obligated to report to CPS if they feel it is neglect or abuse) someone who knows you and will take you seriously?

Sometimes parents don’t believe their kids. I am not saying this is ok, but it happens a lot. They may not believe your asthma is as bad as you say. Example: one day I was with my nephew at the pool and asked him what time it was. He looked at the clock on the wall, and then walked all the way over to be closer to the clock. I asked him if he couldn’t see it from where he had been standing and he replied, “no.” When we returned to his house I told his mother I think he needs glasses and she said, “he has been telling me that, but I thought he was kidding, I never know when to believe him.” A few weeks later he was wearing glasses. I could tell you ten stories like this about different people.

The other side of this is many times children are afraid to tell their parents how they really feel, when they don’t need to be afraid.

I really encourage you to get another adult to help you if you can’t do it on your own. Calling CPS would be if you want to force your parents into something. Persuading them through reason sounds like a better option to try first.

Just stepping in to add a note. The H1N1 vaccine available in very limited supply out in our area is the nasal mist. It is NOT recommended for asthmatics. Additionally in order to get the very limited amount of vaccine you would have to stand in line with hundreds if not thousands of people. If you were basing your complaint on not getting the vaccine it would be very easy for your parents to simply state it was in your better interests.

I agree with @RedPowerLady in that you need an advocate. CPS is too overburdened and quite frankly you do not sound abused when compared to the hundreds of complaints they receive daily.

Talk to your doctor, pastor or friend if you talking to your parents does not work. The Doctor would be your best bet for convincing your parents that you need medication.

I’m just worried that somebody from church or homeschool co-op will call. Me calling would be a last resort.

@sarah826 I thought you had some PERFECT suggestions from @Marina here regarding the teen hotline. You need an advocate.

I think your situation is a ticking time bomb. You need to prepare yourself for what is inevitably going to happen. If you are having trouble breathing you need medical help before you have a full blown attack.

If you get rushed to the ER, then they will contact CPS and will possibly contact the Police (as I’m sure you’ve read many of these incidents on HSDLA’s site).

@sarah826 If someone else is going to call you can’t stop them. As far as preparing well you can’t really do that either because there is such a wide variety of possible responses CPS could provide. In the meantime please find a way to get your health care needs taken care of. You seem quite intelligent so I’m sure you can figure out something.

BTW- If you do get rushed to the ER, your parents would need good lawyers. How would they handle this situation if it arose?

Would it be advantageous to discuss this with them, or with a clergy member, or the organizer of your co-op? Is there anyone you know that you could discuss this with? If not, call the Hotline.

I think I’m probably gonna end up calling the hotline.

One thing everyone has overlooked is that CPS is bound by law not to reveal who called them. Thus, no matter who calls CPS, @sarah826‘s parents will not be told who called.

And if CPS is called, it isn’t the end of the world. An investigator will come out to the house and talk to your parents and then to the children separately from the parents. They may also talk to other adults in your life, such as teachers, pastors, and so on.

If the child or children are in no immediate danger no one would be removed from the home whether they decide to refer the case for follow up or not. If they do decide to refer a case for follow up, a case worker will be assigned and will come out to the house generally with a list of demands that need to be met. Since you are 13, your opinion and statements will be taken seriously.

I doubt that anything would get out to the newspapers or television because you are not in imminent danger, and it wouldn’t be a high-profile case, such as the recent cases where a child suffering from cancer or diabetes is denied medical treatment for religious reasons. If your parents agree to make sure you get appropriate medical treatment for your asthma and then do so, CPS will probably close the file after a few months.

However, as others mention, if you do end up in the ER because of a serious asthma attack, the hospital may be duty-bound to call CPS if abuse, including denial of medical treatment, is suspected.

I say all this because CPS has been called on us based on things my son claimed at school, as well as on a school employee’s personal dislike of me and what I insisted my son needed. Basically, they came to the house and offered help in a variety of ways, especially once they saw in our case that my son really does have a psychiatric diagnosis.

Good luck with everything. Asthma is a very real and potentially serious health problem, and it really does need to be treated, no matter what your parents think.

thanks everybody. I’m glad I have all these people cared about me. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have somewhere to talk all this out.

@sarah826 Homeschooling can be isolating in some cases. How often do you meet with your co-op? Do you have any lessons outside of your home environment? (music, dance-etc)

Boy, do I know it! we meet twice a month and have a field trip about once every 2 months.

@sarah826 I am glad you are reaching out. I’m sorry to hear you feel isolated.

I still think calling 911 would be a real wake up call to your parents and to the people who can help you.

@YARNLADY If she is not an emergency it is an abuse of the 911 system.

Getting dizzy, not having the inhaler replaced and other things mentioned by @sarah826 do constitute a valid emergency. They are potentially life threatening acts.

I would also say not having an inhaler when you need one is an emergency.

If she can’t breath, yes of course that is an emergency. I thought you meant to call because of her general situation.

@JLeslie I understand and, good point. Through a series of questions, I believe a call is justified

In her state, it is considered neglectful to withhold necessary medical treatment.

Information on what happens when abuse is reported can be found here.

I would suggest both an advocate and a call to CPS. An advocate can only suggest things, CPS can see that action is taken.

I doubt her asthma is acute. If it was, her doc wouldn’t have just written a prescription. I have good breathing days and bad ones. This is new to her. She doesn’t know how to control it and she doesn’t know when it really is a problem. She’s probably just stressed. She never even went to the sites I suggested. There are ways to help breathing without an inhaler.

@tinyfaery Just because something worked for you doesn’t mean it works for everyone. Because it is a new diagnosis and a new problem, she needs to be under care to make sure that major problems don’t happen and when they do, that they’re treated.

@avvooooooo That’s not really your call either, now is it?

@tinyfaery I’m not sure what you’re implying.

I do know that treatment and medication are necessary for some people and that not everyone is able to control their breathing without these things. Some people are, some people aren’t. Its when people start believing that their solution to a problem works for everyone and that everyone should do as they do that they become a problem instead of offering a possible solution.

lalalalalalala

I think she said that she had asthma previously, when she was younger, and now it seems to be reoccuring. My impression was she had taken medicine previously, but her mom was not letting her take it again? Maybe I am wrong?

@JLeslie yup. that’s it. but this time it’s waaaay worse. When I was younger, it was just when I got sick, I would cough really bad and I would be wheezing for about 3 days after I got over the cold. But now it’s that and when I run, I get really out of breath. Like so out of breath, I can’t breath right.

It’s quite strange and scary.

@sarah826 Thanks for keeping us updated. I hope Fluther is helping you to find a way to cope with this. You could also try joining an online Asthma support group, such as Asthma and Allerga Foundation Asthma Central Daily Strength

thanks

and you’r welcome