General Question

adri027's avatar

Would you have met the other girl or guy?

Asked by adri027 (1415points) October 29th, 2009

My husband cheated on me over a year ago. I moved to Virginia where this went down. I had never met the girl I had only talked to her online and over the phone and I just met her. It was the most awkward experience ever. This girl was really weird telling me how pretty I was and all this other shannanigans. I think I made a mistake by meeting her. what would you have done? would you have met her?

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37 Answers

Capt_Bloth's avatar

Yes. Did it, fortunately for me I didn’t care enough about the girl anymore to even care.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

What good could possibly come out of such a meeting?
I wouldn’t want to meet the person my SO cheated on me with because it would only result in awkwardness and negativity.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I’d think I shouldn’t and then I would

poofandmook's avatar

Is he with her now? Or are you still with your husband? I wouldn’t meet her unless I had to… like if he was with her and there was a function with the kids or something.

adri027's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir haha exactly!
@poofandmook No, this only happened once but, I just had this odd desire to meet her. I think its because when it happened I was seven months pregnant and I just didn’t understand what she had that I didn’t and yes I’m still with him.

adri027's avatar

well let me correct myself, it happened a couple of times, but not all the way each time. ughh

syz's avatar

No. I would have walked away and never looked back. But that’s just me.

Oh, wait, I did walk away. And my ex eventually remarried someone with the same first name as me – now that’s just lazy!

ninjacolin's avatar

@adri027 do you like her?

adri027's avatar

@ninjacolin NO! hell NO! This girl was really weird before we met she would tell me that me and her look so much alike that we could pass for twins and that we would get along great because we were so much alike which was all a lie and I knew this. I knew I would just dislike her more but, it made me not care even more.

sarahny's avatar

I have met the other woman….but not by choice.

MissAusten's avatar

I wouldn’t have wanted to meet her, but I would have stalked her from a distance.

You can’t undo meeting her, of course, but you certainly never have to see her again.

punkrockworld's avatar

No, I don’t think I would want to meet the other woman, if I were cheated on. I would be curious and look her up on facebook, find a picture but that would be it. I could never have a conversation with someone that ever tried to hurt me. I don’t understand those woman, can’t they just find their own man.

Allie's avatar

One night I started making out with and eventually sleeping with this guy I had met at a few parties. The next morning I was talking to my friends about it and one of them goes, “You had sex with _____?” to which I replied “Yes.” Then she goes, “He has a girlfriend, you know.” My jaw (along with the jaws of most of my friends who were there with me) dropped when she said that. I had no clue he had a girlfriend. He never said a word about her in all the times that I’d talked to him. After that, he continued to call and text me and one time it was his girlfriend that called. She said she wanted to talk to me so I agreed. She wasn’t angry with me, she just wanted to know who I was and what I was like. We talked more and more and she even called and told me what happened when she dumped the guy. We still talk to this day and we’re actually pretty good friends. It’s weird to think that we only met because I slept with her lying now-ex-boyfriend.

adri027's avatar

@MissAusten You know its funny cuz I mostly knew everything about her not intentionally but I soon found out where she worked and if she didn’t want to meet me voluntarily I would’ve gone to her job. stalker status for real ha

@Allie You know at first she had NO idea about me for about a month because I was in California and he was here in Virginia, but after that they messed around a couple of times and she already knew about me.

@punkrockworld The day I found out she immediately added me to her facebook and myspace and I would delete her and she would keep adding me I swear NO joke this girl is like obsessed with me lowkey.

laureth's avatar

Where I used to work, there was a guy who was dating two women who didn’t know about each other. One day they discovered each other because they both showed up at his house at the same time. The best part? They both dumped him and ended up together.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

I’d probably have an urge to meet the woman just because I’d be curious what she looked like and what was so damn special about her that my husband would actually cheat on me with her. But I’m positive that I’d regret it after the fact.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

Personally I wouldn’t, because I would let them keep their relationship seeing as cheating would signify my unimportance to them both. A relationship must be two way, so if I am unimportant then it is probably best to stay that way. It also wouldn’t be a good idea because it might just turn nasty.

Thankfully I’ve never been in such a situation, and I really don’t think anyone can tell what they would do until it has actually happened.

avvooooooo's avatar

@adri027 You can block her so she can’t try and add you. You can do this on both facebook and Myspace.

adri027's avatar

@avvooooooo I’m well aware, I just decide not to because I think its funny that she’s on it the way she is.

avvooooooo's avatar

@adri027 Are you aware that by not blocking her that you’re encouraging her? And that you might be egging her on to bigger things?

adri027's avatar

@avvooooooo Yes, but ehh…she obviously has nothing better to do than be all up in ma KOOL AID haha.

timothykinney's avatar

Buy her a bag of carrots and then call the police.

adri027's avatar

@timothykinney haha random? elaborate.

asmonet's avatar

@adri027: She’s a horse, or some other barnyard creature.

jackm's avatar

Yeah, he was my friend before.

shego's avatar

@adri027 your are very brave. I don’t think that there would be enough people to hold me back. I’m not talking about just the girl, I’m talking about my hypothetical boy friend too.

augustlan's avatar

No. If it was a one-time thing, I’d try very hard to forgive him (though I might not be able to), but if it were an affair it would be over. No good would come out of such a meeting, either way.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

Yes, she works with my husband. We’ve met at company functions before and during the affair. We shop at the same grocery, live in the same neighborhood.

drClaw's avatar

I totally would if my wife cheated, I would meet him in a parking lot as he was walking to his car. You can fill in the rest…

Luckily I 100% believe she would never be unfaithful.

Webzilla's avatar

I would not have met her because of the awkwardness and the fact that she hurt me but at least you know who she is and to now keep away from her.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

No. I once had a live-in bf of several years who cheated on me with a girl who frequented our nightclubbing ‘scene’, she knew who I was but I didn’t know her so when she learned that I had found out (he told me immediately) she wanted to talk to me about it which I didn’t understand and I didn’t want- talk is cheap.

timothykinney's avatar

@adri027 It made sense at the time. Sorry.

wundayatta's avatar

I cheated on a girlfriend in order to be with the woman who became my wife. When my girlfriend (who said she believed in free love) found out, she wanted to meet my now wife. I think she wanted to see what kind of woman she was, or maybe it was just curiousity. Our relationship had been on the skids for a long time at that point, so I don’t think she was too unhappy to break up with me.

Jack79's avatar

I might have purely out of curiosity, but I don’t know. I’ve been cheated on twice, and both times I already knew the guy. Both of them acted really strange and disappeared after that, before I had a chance to meet them or anything. In the first case my gf had told me she had cheated on me straightaway but I thought she was joking and ignored it, and the guy was my best friend and I kept acting as if nothing had happened, it was only months later (and after he’d moved away) that I realised it was a true story. The second time it was exactly because of the guy’s behaviour that I got suspicious, and even though she never said who it was, she admitted it was someone I knew and I was pretty sure it was him. Plus she’d also been alone with him at his place one night around the time it happened.

btw there are far worse things someone can do to you than cheat. And I’ve had them done to me. So I wouldn’t even make a fuss about that nowadays.

pinkparaluies's avatar

I wouldn’t have met her. But I would have gotten a divorce.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

@Jack79 There are also things far worse than murder, but that doesn’t make it right, does it?

adri027's avatar

@Jack79 yeah there are many things worse he could’ve done to me, but damn at least not cheat on me when I’m 7 months pregnant with his kid and across the country. That is a time I needed him most. Now you tell me what worse things do you have in mind? that have happened to you..

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