Social Question

delirium's avatar

Girls only question: What makes a guy sexy (to you)?

Asked by delirium (13691points) November 1st, 2009

Alternately: what is a real turn-off; the dealbreaker?

Hey you with the Y chromosome, get away from that keyboard!

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

69 Answers

airowDee's avatar

sexual turn on : a wife beater! dirty talk , be very rude plez but also know what i want and sensitive and attentive when need be!

everyday life turn on : someone with ambitions! someone who is confident! someone who doesn’t like to fight but can kick ass if need to!

deal breaker: someone who takes illegal drugs other than weed! a homeless dude! a prick to everyone especially the weak and marginalized and not open minded at all! someone who has no sense of humor and too serious for his own good! and a shallow one, someone who is shorter than me and has bad breath and doesn’t care about perosnal cleaniness.

BBSDTfamily's avatar

manners, confidence, intelligence, ambition

cyn's avatar

@airowDee lol. 4rl?
Intelligence, sense of humor, handsomeness, sarcasm are a few things that make him damn sexy! The deal-breaker is if he ever hits me and is a total man-whore/cheater.
[edit:more qualities] likes video games, likes to wrestle, has really great eyes, (I like cheek bones noticeable ++), has a voice, sideburns++, great kisser, has a great confidence in himself, sincere, loyal, and to know what he wants out of life….

airowDee's avatar

lol I have the right to my sexual fantasies!

janbb's avatar

Intelligence, integrity, kindness, a sense of humor that matches my own and an indefinable twinkle.

holden's avatar

A beard and tummy flub. Also, kindness, intellingence, and compassion.

fundevogel's avatar

Well looks of course. Personally I’m a fan of facial hair and body hair in general. It’s very masculine. I also tend to like shorter guys, but that’s mostly because I’m short.

Of course none of that matters a lick if the guy isn’t intelligent or doesn’t have a sense of humor. A good voice absolutely kills me. I dated a voice actor once…so hot.

As far as turn offs, there’s the classic bad breath. Arrogance doesn’t get you far either. I also have a zero tolerance policy towards Christian rock. Rock is the devils music. Insecurity is bad news too. If someone can’t stick to their guns I tend to think they haven’t grown into themselves yet.

I’m not particularly into blonds but that isn’t really isn’t turn off. I’m just not attracted to blonds very often.

And that’s the gods’ honest truth.

janbb's avatar

@fundevogel You’re a girl?

fundevogel's avatar

@janbb last I checked

janbb's avatar

@fundevogel No insult intended; maybe it was just the name, but I always had you figured for a guy.

fundevogel's avatar

Come to think of it I had assumed @holden was a guy.

nikipedia's avatar

Competence, compassion, good arms.

fundevogel's avatar

@janbb none taken, I think the name is gender neutral, though I could be wrong since I don’t speak German. I sort of expect a certain number of people to assume I’m male since there’s always a bearded man in my icon.

janbb's avatar

@fundevogel Me too, re: holden.

holden's avatar

I never said I wasn’t a guy…

fundevogel's avatar

@holden in the section of my brain dedicated to remembering the gender of internet people I’m checking the “gender mysterious” box next to your name.

janbb's avatar

Me too.

Sarcasm's avatar

@fundevogel It says in his profile in no unclear terms that he’s a boy. Just like it says in yours that you’re a female.

SuperMouse's avatar

The first physical thing I notice is a guy’s smile. I love a warm smile with beautiful smiling eyes to match. Once we’ve cleared that hurdle he must be secure with himself, intelligent, kind, and scrupulous.

I am completely turned off by insecurity and cockiness. Self-assurance is a good thing but it can very easily become a deal breaker.

Bad breath trumps anything positive – anything.

cyn's avatar

why are you guys using double negatives?

janbb's avatar

@Sarcasm Spoilsport!

Iclamae's avatar

Immediate catch my attention: dorky cute, some body hair, glasses, sense of humor similar to mine, Nerdy-cool

Long term turn on’s: having ambitions, being a “doer”, not being a leech, knowing when to be respectful and knowing when to correct people, being able to take charge (in life and bedroom), being an old-school romantic, being tolerant of other beliefs (as long as the other person isn’t being an ass about it), and a nice ass always helps :D

Deal breaker: Becoming a leech, becoming suicidal, abusive physical or emotional, drug addiction, smoking (sorry but I really can’t handle the smoke), bad moral decision making (those moments where you go “you really did what?!”), not taking care of yourself (don’t mind overweight but mind bad hygiene, and letting yourself get to 400 lbs, etc etc), not reaching my maturity level

nikipedia's avatar

Turn-offs, dealbreakers: Willful ignorance. Any belief in god, superstition, or the supernatural. Bad tippers. Thoughtlessness. Unkindness. Trying to one-up me.

Tink's avatar

Left handed, computer nerd, dorky sense of humor, shy, conserved, green or brown eyes, smarter and taller than me, listens to the important things I tell him, a smile, musical taste clash.

Deal breakers:
Big muscles, dumb as a brick, very clingy, hard as cement crackheads, jelousy, serious all the time, tells me what I have to do, facial hair, jocks, and overly sensitive.

rooeytoo's avatar

When you say sexy do you mean someone who awakens lust in me or do you mean someone to whom I would be attracted in all ways and to have a relationship with?

To me they are 2 different questions with totally different answers.

pinkparaluies's avatar

Turn on. Height. Good health. Athletic. Broad shoulders. Intelligent. Alpha Male ;) No blondes!
Turn OFF. No car. No job. Living with family.

faye's avatar

lust- “bad boy” and hugh jackman in any image, relationship- a twinkle in those any color eyes

autumn43's avatar

Turn ons: Eyes, smile, intelligence, confidence, compassion, sense of humor, nice thighs. And if perchance I was to see – a cute pair of buns in a pair of Levis for me!

Turn offs: Arrogance, smelly, know-it-all, smoker, spazzy, beer belly.

holden's avatar

@Tink1113 why is left-handedness important? That’s an odd preference.

jrpowell's avatar

@holden :: I am a lefty and it works well for hand holding. I can use my left and she can use her right. It works out well.

cyn's avatar

@holden because of this
@Tink1113 I don’t like mustaches, either.

holden's avatar


jrpowell's avatar

Del likes me.. She will not mind.

pinkparaluies's avatar

Just was messaged about how shallow my interests in men are.
What I like is what I like. I don’t think its shallow if I’m choosing a soulmate for myself based on what “turns me on”.

Tink's avatar

@holden I find it attractive. And for the reason JP said, I like holding hands with my right.

evegrimm's avatar

Turn-ons: intelligence, wittiness, an accent, sexy hair, kind to animals, smells good, fannish tendencies (or puts up with them)

Turn-offs: patronising, dogmatic beliefs, smells like Axe (or similarly smelly), religious to the point of believing I’m going to the special hell (for believing in evolution and being somewhat adventurous in bedroom activities), closed-minded

I’d rather have a guy who wasn’t model-hot but who could crack a (smart) joke and make me laugh than a guy who was attractive but dull. After all, looks fade.

holden's avatar

@pinkparaluies did somebody summon the morality police?

pinkparaluies's avatar

@holden Oh yes. And I was issued a citation ;)

lamedb's avatar

To be honest, talent. If he is really talented, or just great at his job. Creativity, especially when it comes out through humour. Shy, I just find it very endearing, especially as I hate egoists. Great conversationalist-could argue a topic without forgetting to excited or be thoughtless about the other person involved.

tinyfaery's avatar

So if gay men can’t answer can I answer? Since I do not have a Y chromosome I assume I can.

I like all kinds of men. I have a visceral attraction to black men like Morris Chestnut and Taye Diggs. I also like pretty boys with an artistic, dark, brooding kind of look. Small, tight bodies are a real turn on. Blonds…not so much.

Tink's avatar

Something I forgot to mention, I don’t like guys that wear Holister or American Eagle. Especially when their t-shirts are extremely too small for them and they think they look cool just cause they are wearing Holister.

Lorenita's avatar

Nice smile, inteligence, great sense of humor, a little bit of pride and some in the arms and a strong back.

JLeslie's avatar

My “type” is dark hair, 5’10” to 6’, medium build, smiles, can stay with a conversation, sense of humor. Once knowing him the physical means less and it all switches up to honesty, respect, supportive, sense of humor, and a minimum of social etiquette.

Psychedelic_Zebra's avatar

Damn, none of these descriptions fit me. }:^P

JLeslie's avatar

@Psychedelic_Zebra Not true. You have a great sense of humor, seem to respect others, and also seem very open and honest, and can definitely keep up with and participate in a conversation.

cyn's avatar

Ahhh Psychedelic_Zebra. I think you are very handsome in a non-perverted way…
<————(sorry, photobucket stalker). You are very smart according to the responses you post and have a great sense of humor. (:

trumi's avatar

Tips for guys that want to come across as confident but not arrogant? I feel like I can never win on that front…

fundevogel's avatar

@Sarcasm yes but I thought he (or she) was referring to themself in character. The profile sounds an awful lot like Holden Caufield so I wasn’t taking it too literally.

holden's avatar

@fundevogel I PMed him; he hasn’t read it. Apparently a lot of people haven’t read it either because only a couple people have caught on, and you’re one of them.

fundevogel's avatar

@holden I didn’t actually finish it, but I will…one day.

Saturated_Brain's avatar

@trumi Take the lead and make the decisions, but respect others’ opinions (especially her’s). Don’t act like you know it all, but show that you know what you do. You have weaknesses. Acknowledge them, but stand up for yourself. And if you find yourself in a place and time where someone else has a better control of the whole situation, give them the reigns.

Nobody likes liars and pretenders.

Facade's avatar

I don’t really have a type as far as race and ethnicity goes. But I like height (6 feet and over), a large build (lots of muscles), a strong face, well-dressed (no sneakers, no sloppy clothing). Personalities don’t “turn me on,” but I like a guy who can take charge in bed. Wittiness is also sexy.

Turn offs would include too many things to mention, basically the opposite of what I mentioned.

jca's avatar

i like a guy who is not conceited – does not think he’s sexy. i like a guy who is smart. i value talent and creativity. i like a good sense of humor. as far as looks go i like brunettes and i also like blondes, and i look at a guy’s shoulders and ass.

what i don’t like is a guy who is conceited, i don’t like liars, close minded guys or guys who are very strongly opinionated about politics or religion.

if i really like a guy, penis size does not matter.

Facade's avatar

I suppose I should add above average-sized penis to my list :)

Clair's avatar

Turn Ons: Personality (has to be witty and silly), Trustworthiness (I need a secret keeper.), Dorkiness (silly, insane obsession of whatever kind.), Stylish (by this, I mean you know how to make a pair of Target jeans and corduroy jacket look good and you didn’t even realize that’s what you had on today.) Sensitivity (because you need to know how to deal with me when I’m down.) The X Factor (because you need to know how to deal with me in bed ;-) ) Confidence, Talent, Intelligence (because sometimes I’d rather talk to a rock than most guys.) Passion (very important.)
Turn Offs: Stupidity, Ignorance, Over the top Religious Views, Pride, Money Hungry Attitude,
Deal Breakers: Bad teeth, I know everything Attitude, Ginormous Beer Guts, Everything they wear is a Popular Teen Brand of Clothes
Luckily…I have jsammons!

Psychedelic_Zebra's avatar

@Facade what’s average, hmmmm? =)

KatawaGrey's avatar

One of the best things a guy can do to get my romantic attention is to reveal a little thing about himself that is kinda silly and kinda personal. I don’t want to hear that your dad left when you were three on the first date but if you can’t go to bed without eating a Hershey bar, well, that’s cute. The exact moment I realized I wanted to be with my boyfriend was when we were playing magic. I opened up a pack of cards, looked around to make sure no one was watching and smelled it a new pack of cards is one of the most wonderful scents and my boyfriend before he was my boyfriend saw me and said, “I do that too,” with a big smile on his face. Those are the sexiest four words I have ever heard.

What I hate is when a guy makes a snap judgment about me without knowing the back story. If you laugh when I tell you I’m a women’s studies minor, then fuck you.

@SuperMouse: I agree completely. If a guy smells bad not just breath, anything then I do not want to be with him. There is simply no physical attraction.

Facade's avatar

@Psychedelic_Zebra Isn’t average like 5.5–6 inches?

Sarcasm's avatar

@holden / @fundevogel It’s just not fair to say you’re a boy in your blurb when you’re not a boy! I mean, @Psychedelic_Zebra kinda does a similar thing, but then he corrects it! I guess that’s what I get for posting in a girls-only thread though.

delirium's avatar

What I like in general: Supportive, intelligent, non-american (by no means it that required, though. I just am attracted to it), tolerant, finds my weird playfulness to be endearing, is playful himself. I like men who dress well and have class. I am just not attracted to guys who walk around in sweat pants or basketball shorts. Those are okay as PJs and spotswear and that is all. Ambitious. Ecologically conscious. Science geek. Geek in general. And I like a guy who is into the classics: getting me flowers, opening doors. I like a gentleman. Also: MUST LOVE SNAKES (and think I’m totally adorable).

What I like in a guy sexually: Dominant in the bedroom (extremely aggressive, experienced, fond of experimentation) but realizes that trying to dominate me anywhere else is a very bad idea. Considers curvy women to be ideal. Has a very high sexual appetite but is still very careful.

No Thank You: Can quote an absurd number of movies. Cannot challenge my brain. Non-snuggly. Overly concerned with his masculinity. Obsessed with sports. Uninterested in having a life goal of relieving suffering. Artistically unappreciative. Religious. Creationist. Non-science oriented. Doesn’t lust to learn new things all the time.

KatawaGrey's avatar

@delirium: My boyfriend hates sports and when I told my mom her response was, “Marry him.”

delirium's avatar

Wise woman. Wise woman indeed!

pinkparaluies's avatar

so much… information…

delirium's avatar

I’ve been there, done that. I know what I like. I also get enough opportunities that I can afford to be picky.

lostinyoureyes's avatar

A guy is sexy when he knows who he is and doesn’t try to act like anything else. When he has his own life and ambitions. When he can take care of himself and loved ones.

Turn-offs: Bad odour of any kind. General douchiness. Inattentiveness (like the inability to listen or pay attention to what I’m saying, what’s going on around him).

Aethelwine's avatar

A man with confidence. or at least portrays confidence
A man that likes to take control but is happy if you want to intervene.
The eyes!!!!!

oh yeah…and the eyes.

they say so much about a person

turn offs?... rudeness

mr_universe's avatar

sorry breaking the only girls rule here: I’ve read all the reactions here and it seems to me that these turn ons are only there because of your reactions to reality and therefore forming a fantastical person. I’ve met many girls who say many things but the main point is, do the opposite of they think is endearing overtime. SURPRISE THEM!

its always the opposite to what they say once you get to know them. If your shy and its endearing, it won’t be endearing later on, or if you not masculine and its endearing, your not masculine enough later. And then these fantastical sexy man starts to form in your head because of your experience since he’s not ____ enough.

that’s just my 2 lincolns on this topic.

Akua's avatar

Intelligence, impeccable hygiene and a beard will get my attention and it will turn me on enough to want to get to know you better.

Broken yellow teeth, ignorant and bad manners is a no-no. RUN!

jca's avatar

@Akua: Oh yeah you reminded me. Bad teeth are a deal breaker.

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