Social Question

airowDee's avatar

How many people here are introverts?

Asked by airowDee (1791points) November 1st, 2009

I could never understand why people would stand in a long line up to go to a crowded night club. Is it just so you can be seen as holding a drink and not able to hear anything but loud music and exchanging odd glances at strangers and pretending that it’s all very meaningful and exciting?

When I am in a crowd, all I want is to go lock myself up in a room in front of a favourite news website or my new favourite newspaper, or laying around doing nothing with my boyfriend.

So some people might be looking for a hook up or recreational sex a club, but wouldn’t going on a dating site or online be much easier?

This is something an introvert like me can never understand. Anyone else know what I mean?

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28 Answers

Ivan's avatar

Yeah. I make myself feel guilty about always sitting at home until I finally force myself to go out. Then when I do, I just regret it and wish I had stayed at home.

naivete's avatar

I think I’m an introvert. I’d rather sit at home then go out anyday. I’ve never understood why people like going out to parties.

Cartman's avatar

Count me in.

nikipedia's avatar

I am an introvert. I find people exhausting.

But meaningful social interactions are also the most fulfilling experiences in life: good conversations, getting a chance to help someone out, having someone do an unexpected favor for you when you really need it.

And there’s the utility of social connections: networking is often the best way to find a job, an apartment, your next big crush…who knows what else.

So I think it’s worth it to keep on forcing yourself out the door.

airowDee's avatar

I always feel like I am a bit weird for not liking to go out. I think being an introvert is a bit like being in a minority gruop.

drdoombot's avatar

Reading this article helped me understand a lot more about myself and my extroverted friends. I used to think of it as a major negative, but I now see it’s given me abilities other people crave: not being easily bored, not feeling restless, enjoying solitude, etc. I also realized that I shouldn’t avoid social situations, just be picky about them and not do them for too long; they’re much more enjoyable for introverts that way.

DominicX's avatar

Really, I wouldn’t expect an introvert understand an extrovert. Being extroverted is a completely different way of life and interacting with the world. It isn’t for everybody. So to answer the question, no, I am not an introvert, but I am also not a big “clubber”, so I wouldn’t know much on that subject. Introverts always claim that they are so misunderstood and yet at the same time they gravely misunderstand extroverts and write biased articles like the one linked to above. It’s a two-way street, pal. The message I get from most introverts is: introversion is the correct enlightened side and extroversion is the incorrect unenlightened side. This kind of thinking only further drives humans apart. It’s kind of like, since introverts have been made to feel inferior, the way of feeling better about themselves involves putting down the other side. That’s not the right way to go.

Still, I view introversion-extroversion as a scale, much like the sexuality scale. Everyone fits somewhere along the line and I’d guess that many people are in the center. I’m probably more towards the center than I am on the far extrovert side.

holden's avatar

shyly raises hand

Chikipi's avatar

I am an introvert. I don’t like going to clubs or the bar scene. I always feel overwhelmed and then exhausted once the night is over. However, I have been told that because I am quite and reserved that my friends have told me that I sometimes give the cold shoulder and the unapproachable vibe. I want to be a bit more outgoing, but it’s a far stretch to become extrovert and I probably wouldn’t want to be. I enjoy the “me time.” I have been trying to change for the better so to speak. I have joined volunteer groups and an outdoor adventure club. It hasn’t been easy and at times I wonder what I am doing, but my confidence in meeting people is becoming easier and easier.

Narl's avatar

Introvert here. I don’t like going out at all.

rooeytoo's avatar

I am in the middle, it really depends on my mood. I can have a good time at a party but it seems in order to do that, a tremendous amount of energy to be “one of the gang” is expended. I don’t always feel like expending!

If I must choose one over the other, I would rather be an introvert because I am at ease with my own company. My brother however prefers to have people around him all of the time, he is not comfortable being alone. I am more likely to call myself a loner than an introvert.

airowDee's avatar

I am sorry if I sound like I am putting down extroverts. Perhaps I just feel that as many have said, we feel the pressure to be an extroverts because the society grants alot of privileges to those who are outgoing, getting a job is much easier if you know alot of people and can have small talks.

oratio's avatar

I have never been able to enjoy clubs, since it’s hard or impossible mostly to hear what people say.

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

I’m guilty of being an introvert as well. I’m much more comfortable and happy when I am doing my own thing. I find it really peacefully to have some quiet time to myself, and just let my mind wander. My first year in college I tried to live in a house with 4 other people, and found it to be torture (parties every weekend, random people in the house, really messy roommates – and I’m a neat freak). It didn’t take long until I moved out on my own, and learned to really appreciate solitude.

There are also times when I really enjoy socializing, but it is usually with a group of close friends as opposed to going out to a bar or club with random people. Sometimes my friends feel that they have to drag me out to go to big parties, and I usually end up having a lousy time, its just not my scene.

I really like the link @drdoombot posted, that shows that there really is a difference between being antisocial and being an introvert. Great article!

aprilsimnel's avatar

I skirt the introversion/extroversion line. I’m more comfortable at a small gathering, even if I don’t know everyone there very well. Large clubs and the like bug. But if it’s a concert, I’ll go only if I really, really love the band. Otherwise the crowds are just too much, and there’s too much swirly energy that agitates me.

laureth's avatar


hearkat's avatar

I don’t know how many members of Fluther are introverts. I don’t even know how many people have joined the collective (and since some have more than one account, there may be no way to know).

However, I am an introvert. I was once painfully shy, but I have grown more confident and comfortable in social situations. Still, I need moments of solitude to clear my head and recharge my energy. I call myself a “sociable introvert.”

pinkparaluies's avatar

I’m usually an introvert unless I’m out and about. Then I’m the social butterfly.

Psychedelic_Zebra's avatar

there is an difference between being introverted and being an actual diagnosed intorvert. or at least that is what a co-worker I have told me. I don’t think he is only an introvert, he is also an asshole with a god complex. He is very, very good at what he does, career wise; but as a decent human being, not so much.

Supacase's avatar

I have always been introverted. It has moved from painfully being shy to simply being a quieter person who enjoys alone time and has some social anxiety. As much as I love my family and would be lost without them, I sometimes miss the days of living on my own and having a lot of uninterrupted, guilt-free alone time.

@DominicX I definitely do not feel that way. I can’t tell you how many times I have wished to be an extrovert. I have pretty much accepted myself as an introvert by now, but there are still times I wish I was more of a people person and more comfortable in large groups.

Psychedelic_Zebra's avatar

@Supacase get a job in security for a large manufacturing company. That’s how I became a people person. Well that, and driving a truck.

J0E's avatar

Sometimes I think it’s more laziness than being an introvert. I’m one of those people who never make calls, I only receive them. If someone calls and wants to do something I’ll probably do it, but if no one calls I’m not like itching to go out and do something.

And sometimes I’m too lazy to even answer the phone… ;)

ratboy's avatar

I believe I may be a “people person,” but it’s sort of hard to tell as I haven’t seen another human being in years. That’s enough for now. Leave me alone.

My shirt.

arnbev959's avatar

I’m very much an introvert. Sitting around with a small group of friends in someone’s backyard? Cool! Camping? Great.

But crowded clubs, noisy parties? I don’t understand the allure to that at all.

I like quiet gatherings where you can talk to people. I like calm environments.

passtell's avatar

it’s sad that in this world,that there has to be catagories that define people who are introverted or extroverted./ ie, people who don’t like partying and prefer having only 1 or 2 friends(Introverted)and the other kind,the partyers who have 6 or more friends around them most of the time(extroverts) point is this…i’d never even heard of the catagories of introverted and extroverted as being issues until more recently.//people were either just quiet or shy(introverted) or outgoing(extroverted). my opinion is that the current days’ 20 somethings have alot to do with the two catagories being an issue.//i’ve recently been in several forums and chatrooms online and i’m amazed at the insults and criticisms from 20 somethings aimed at introverts.personally,i believe society has seen a huge burst in extroverts in the past 10 years.i believe this is why we see so many people(mostly 20 somethings)out and about so late at night,like at 2and 3am.//not too many years ago 2 and 3am in any city in the usa (with the possible exception of new york)would be tea totally dead.not anymore however.quite the opposite in fact in most cities now

laureth's avatar

Wouldn’t “quiet or shy” and “outgoing” also be categories to be sad about?

For what it’s worth, when I moved out and started going to college (1990), I was often awake all night at our local 24 hour diner, and I’m an introvert quiet and shy. There would be lots of us there, seated alone at our tables with our books to read, drinking coffee at 3am.

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Akua's avatar

I’m an introvert and so is my therapist. We enjoy our own company and don’t feel the need to have the spotlight on us. I abhor loudness, crowds, bars and clubs. Loud people make me wince, bright lights give me a headache and it takes me an entire weekend to recuperate after going to work all week. I come home on Friday and don’t leave the house until Monday morning. I don’t like the telephone and will not answer if it rings. Don’t wait for me to call you because it’ll never happen. I avoid people like the plague because they will inevitably want to have small talk. Don’t get me wrong though when necessary I can force the appearance of being an extrovert but it requires days and sometimes months of preparation and then more days to recover. I’m so good that most people don’t know I’m an introvert (which is why they constantly seek me out to listen to them drone on and on and on…) I have a husband, 2 cats and lots of books, I don’t require much more than that.

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