What is it that makes it difficult to turn the other cheek?

Our egos.

Stiff neck

Ego.

We need to fight back to appease our hurt feelings. No one wants to feel like a sheep by just taking abuse lying down, even if it would be the better, more mature choice.

It’s a natural reaction people get when they feel one of their boundaries has been crossed. Never wrong to get mad, just have to be careful what we do with it.

Well, I’m kind of a doormat. That usually doesn’t yield a positive result, either. :-\

When they hurt those you love

Ignorance of the option to pity.

Pride.

Damn, you beat me to pride. Pride is pretty much it.

I don’t know but I wish I had turned the other cheek in an earlier thread…Instead I Iet some insulting words really get to me. And I instantly felt the need to defend myself.

I think we all have an instinct to take things personally at first. Usually after some thought we can see things differently and will tolerate more.

Natural Defense Mechanism

Because no one wants to be wrong or feel like they’re being stepped on. I know that it’s hard to “turn the other cheek” but it’s often the best method, at least for trying to keep the peace. People are afraid of rejection. Or at least that’s what they said at a business seminar I went to.

For me it is most difficult to turn the other cheek when I feel misunderstood. I want the other person to see how they were wrong in their assumption or perception of me. It hurts my feelings more than my ego.

Self respect. It is counter intuitive to put up with it, and we like to look out for ourselves, but we react before the best option has been identified.

You have to be pretty clear and secure about who you are in order to turn the other cheek. If you aren’t, then the things like pride and instinct, that others have mentioned, take the lead.

I may have low self-esteem, but I do know what makes me me. I might wish I were otherwise, but I am who I am—it’s not going to change. This knowledge makes it possible for me not to have to actively defend myself by getting angry or something like that. I know what kind of man I am, and it really doesn’t matter what anyone else says, I still know who I am. I might not be happy with who I am, but I know who I am.

Because of this, when someone points out my flaws, it doesn’t bother me. Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt. Became president of the fan club. If someone teases me about various aspects of my personality—again, it doesn’t bother me. No one else could possible say or think worse of me than I do.

So if someone insults me, or tells me some decision I’ve made is pretty stupid, or judges me for who I am or what I do… it’s easy to turn the other cheek. It’s easy to ignore it. Or even better—the insult doesn’t even appear on my radar screen.

Online, it gets even easier. If someone attacks me, all I have to do is point out they are making an ad hominem attack and their “argument” withers on the vine. People here are smart enough to see personal attacks as the refuge of someone who has no leg to stand on.

In a way, perhaps there is some underlying philosophy behind my madness. If I know my flaws and if I think the worst of myself, no one can think even worster ;-) Also, if I point out my flaws to everyone, then they all know and they know I know, so what can they say?

There aren’t many advantages to having a personality like mine, but in this one area, I’m a star!

The drive for cheek-preservation! It’s your only good cheek left!

Really, to be oh-so-literal, why would you expose your other cheek once the first had been slapped? That just seems dumb.

Bean bag chairs.

@daloon GA, but I think there is a difference between being able to see insults as ad hominem, knowing your flaws, and turning the other cheek. It is easy to disregard insults and deny them any effect on you, but it is hard to expose yourself to insults that do affect you over and over again. That is what I see turning the other cheek to be – you audition for a theatre role you really want, and are rejected, so you go to the next city and audition again, and the next etc. It is hard to be humiliated and put yourself up for it again. Realising personal attacks to be the domain of the weak and foolish is not really that hard.

Turning the other cheek is not always the best move. I turn the other cheek mostly because I really don’t care anyway. So little is worth my energy.

@FireMadeFlesh I would call that perseverance. My understanding is that you can’t turn the other cheek unless you’ve been deliberately hurt in some way. Not being selected in an audition is different, because it’s really not personal. The decision is based on measurable criteria, unlike ad hominem attacks which are based on nothing besides unreasonable anger.

@daloon I guess it was a bad example, but my point is that it actually has to hurt to be considered turning the other cheek. If the action doesn’t have an effect on you then you won’t really care one way or the other what your next move is.

We’re selfish, self-centered, vindictive people. That’s just how we are as people. We think we deserve to have everything in life we want, regardless of how it might impact someone else’s life, and we’ll stop at almost nothing to get those things. Our first gut reaction, passed down throughout the generations and shown to us in movies and music and in life around us, is to retaliate. Just like with racism, it takes time and strength to break the cycle and break the mold. People are too lazy to do that.