Social Question

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

Do you follow "the guy code"?

Asked by NaturalMineralWater (11295points) November 11th, 2009

“Here is one example”: http://www.drinknation.com/fun/urinaltest of what I like to refer to as the guy code.

Do you follow the guy code? Do you know what it is? Do you think it’s ridiculous? Are you man enough to admit that you follow the guy code.. even while the ignorant label you as a homophobe? Are you inherently a homophobe just by following the guy code?

Let’s just set some things straight before I get pummeled.
1. I do follow the guy code.
2. I am not a homophobe!
3. I have absolutely no problem with homosexual people, however, I do disagree with their choice. This doesn’t make me a homophobe any more than being republican would make me a democratophobe..
4. The guy code is important! Why? Because it’s just what men do. Ladies, please don’t try to understand. We don’t always understand what you do either.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

72 Answers

joehobbes's avatar

I would think no matter what your orientation, privacy during peeing is always appreciated.
So, to me, it seems like the “guy code” is just natural….

dooj's avatar

I have my own guy code. Don’t fuck with me!

poisonedantidote's avatar

I don’t get it, the link you gave i mean. only code i really follow in this situation is you don’t look at the other guys junk.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@poisonedantidote It is only one example of the complex and usually understood “guy code” .. among men.

poisonedantidote's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater oh, ok. i thought this was a just a toilet thing.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

I have many different codes, and I play them like records depending on the mood I’m in and the company I’m with.

I work with a lot of women… They like when I play the girl code with them

When in Rome…

One of my favorite “guy codes” is to never be afraid to embrace my feminine side.

forestGeek's avatar

Nope I don’t get it. I do however respect personal space, privacy, and very much understand etiquette and common courtesy when it comes to all humans, not just guys.

Aethelwine's avatar

Here’s my result after taking the quiz:

Good lord! You can’t possibly be male! We have monkeys that are better trained at peeing than you are. If, on the obscure off-chance that you ARE male, you need some practice going to the bathroom. Sad, really.

I’d say it’s accurate. I’m female.
I just had to do it. I love quizzes!

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@jonsblond That’s hilarious! XD Much lurve for giving it a shot. =D

@realthings What is this “feminine side” that people always bring up? A man does not have a feminine side! (Unless they have estrogen somehow pumping through their body….) Men can be emotional at appropriate times (such as a funeral or if the cubs were to win the pennant) .. but that isn’t a feminine side! Every human being on the earth has emotions! What other facet of femininity is it that you are referring to?

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

I passed the quiz. Technically speaking, in situation 4 or 5 there is no appropriate choice. You need to wait or go somewhere else to pee. This video outlines proper urinal etiquette very well.

DominicX's avatar

People really like talking about urinal etiquette, I’ve found. I, however, never use urinals in the first place.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities THANKS! that’s actually the one I was looking for!

@DominicX Are you a dude?

Judi's avatar

The woman code is to never make poop noises in a public bathroom.

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

@Judi That should be everyone’s code.

DominicX's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater Yep, I’m all man. :) And 100% gay.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater

It comes in a number of ways, some think it a skill, I prefer to think of it as an art. Women are much more attentive to a carefree sultry slinking male presence… think Jim Morrison. I would never “act” this way in a crowd of heterosexual men. Yet I do work with a number of homosexual men, and our comfort level with one another is critical to the service I provide for them… no, I am not a prostitute. But when shaking their hand, I am masculine and firm. That’s what they expect from me.

I’m a different personage for my children clients as well. Gentle, kind, affirming and very silly. My women clients receive a very tender handshake with just the tips of my fingers, and they are impressed at my manicure. They want to be complimented on their clothing and jewelry and reassured about their hair color… I do this for them in the most genuine way, the way a good female friend would make over them.

casheroo's avatar

lol, I took the quiz and got this

Well, although not perfect, it’s nice to see that you’re able to follow the simple rules of urinating in a proper and orderly manner. We’re willing to bet that your friends aren’t as good at peeing as you are. Now, isn’t that something special? You can take pride in the fact that you know how to use the facilities properly. That’s more than most of our staff can say….

I just went by where I’d stand if I had to pee in front of people. I enjoy being a woman and having stalls. lol

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

I took the test, but every time I “whip it out” all the stalls empty and the little red guys quickly leave the room with their heads down.

CMaz's avatar

Always, except for the part about being a douche bag or a perv.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@ChazMaz Being a douche bag or a perv is not part of the guy code. That is an outdated version. xD

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies I’m more inclined to give everyone the same type of handshake. Woman, child, or whatever.. you’re going to get a firm handshake.. not a ridiculous bone crushing handshake.. just a firm handshake. A fingertip handshake? Nasty!

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@DominicX If you don’t follow the code than I’m afraid you aren’t a member. XD You don’t get in by default just for having male parts. XD

And before anyone goes to get their shotgun and start prancing around with homophobe signs.. it has nothing to do with the fact that he’s gay… if a straight man were to skip out on the code he’s not a member either…. lol

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater

Sure, I understand. My business, and clients, are best served if I have a bit of character and a certain charm. Makes it fun for all involved. It helps with a crucial side of my service, that being to make them feel as though we are old and trusted friends that go way back, when in fact we’ve never met before. A bit of roll playing helps me do this.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Are you suggesting I don’t have character or charm? That’s what the italics are saying to me. XD

What role.. exactly.. are you playing? I’m me no matter who I’m with. Perhaps it’s to my benefit that I“m not selling insurance or used cars.

@DominicX What’s the matter?

nzigler's avatar

This is so weird, I’m a straight guy and I ALWAYS look at everyone else’s junk. I even ask to see it sometimes. Sure, some people aren’t hip to that but hey- I gotta know what the competition’s packing right?

Seriously, no. I think most men can even pee at those trough urinals and not really give a shit. I suppose someone could steal a glance once in a blue moon but some people are just voyeurs.

Edit: Oh, and the handshakes- insecure dudes try to break your hand. Normal people just shake it firmly and move on. ‘Tough’ handshakes are for horsing around with your uncle at christmas or right before a fight to the death. It’s the equivalent of calling someone you just met ‘buddy’ or ‘champ’.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@nzigler That first part was just disturbing.. lol

As far as the trough.. you normally only see those in environments where there are hundreds of people who have to fit in one tiny bathroom.. all of them being inebriated.

When you’re talking about drunken urinal etiquette .. it’s probably good enough if you just don’t pee on someone else.

nzigler's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater agreed. The trough in mind is at Dodger stadium.

tinyfaery's avatar

You can deny your prejudice all you want, but if you have a code to keep you from appearing gay then you are afraid of homosexuality, which IS NOT A CHOICE. The fact that you say it’s a choice shows ignorance.

I had a boyfriend for almost 4 years who thought guy code was lame and only for those afraid of appearing gay. There is no other reason.

DominicX's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater

I have to agree with @tinyfaery here. Being gay is not a choice and if you think it is, then you’re no one I’d ever want to associate with.

And furthermore, I know you were kind of joking, but being a man has nothing to do with any of these petty trivial shows of “masculinity”. I am a man because that is what I am—it’s what I am physically and what I am mentally.

Judi's avatar

My daddy said;
“There was a man who shook my hand and gripped it like he meant it.
Another man, shook the same one, and left a dishrag in it.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@tinfaery You’re making assumptions again. Did I say anything about sexual preference having ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE GUY CODE?” NO! Gahd you people are tedious sometimes… lol

tinyfaery's avatar

You’re tedious. Read your question. When someone denies something right off it’s usually a good clue that that is what they mean. Think
critically. Guy code is so you do not appear gay. Why? Because you think gay is bad. It’s logic.

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

According the to guy code, it’s alright to cheat at any game where money isn’t involved.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@tinyfaery I wrote that to try and skip past all the normal assumptions. It only backfired for a select few who weren’t able to deduce that.

tinyfaery's avatar

Normal assumptions are the correct ones. Deny till death. I see through it. Done.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

@tinyfaery I hate to break it to you but.. assumptions are only just that.. assumptions. Believing anything different is to deny the very definition of the word.

ratboy's avatar

As I am too stupid to decipher the code, I use the lady’s room and just pee on the wall.

dalepetrie's avatar

My two cents, saying you disagree with a person’s “choice” to be homosexual, automatically makes you a homophobe. Being attracted more to the same sex than the opposite sex is no more a “choice” (which implies a decision), than is being more attracted to blondes than brunettes (or vice versa), or liking a woman who has a little meat on her bones vs. someone whose ribs look like a xylophone (or vice versa). What floats your boat is not a choice, it just IS, and not only is saying about homosexuals, “I do disagree with their choice” a fundamental misinterpretation of the role of choice in desire, but it also states that you disagree with the way a person is. You can no more disagree with a person’s being gay than you can disagree with them being black or Jewish, and saying you do, sorry if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck….

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater said:
“What role.. exactly.. are you playing?”

I thought we’d been over that Honey. What more would you like to know Dear? Give us a kiss… I’ll tell.

CMaz's avatar

And now back to your regularly scheduled program.

airowDee's avatar

To be honest, it all makes sense to me when you said you disagree with homosexuality and their choice and you follow “the guy code”. The two go hand in hand together.

“The guy code” is for boys.

nxknxk's avatar

I’m gay and I avoid urinating in urinals next to other guys and I usually just stand in a stall for the privacy and because this question is littered with denials of homophobia and ridicule for those who suspect the querent’s homophobia (no pun etc.) it is my natural reaction to assume that the poster is insecure and not man enough to admit ahem that he experiences homophobic feelings from time to time as even I do but it is probably better in all honesty to answer this question without referring to those numerous gaffes in aforementioned original post because it might incite has incited arguments and it is, after all, entirely silly to ask this gaffeur as it were to understand that homosexuality is not at all a choice just as he discourages women from even trying understand that men are sometimes insecure about their penises and, wait, I apologize for the pummeling but there’s something both homophobic and now misogynistic about this question and I refuse to give it any more of a response than a single sentence will allow.

Question is ridiculous as the practice of guy code.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

Holy crap batman… are we capable of talking about the damn code without going all “omg you’re a homophobe”? Answer=I hope so.

Ok… let’s be clear on this one last time. This is a fact.. not an assumption. I’m not in denial. I’m not a homophobe. As I mentioned in the description of the question.. attempting to make that connection isn’t logical. 99% of you disagree with me on this question. Does that mean I think you are a NaturalMineralWateraphobe? NO! I have a belief. That belief is that homosexuality is a choice.. and a bad one. But I don’t dislike someone who is homosexual because of that belief any more than I dislike someone for doing something else I don’t believe is right.

For the love of all that is holy and sacred.. can we please drop the homosexual talk… ? God knows we have a million such threads already here on fluther. One more would be a complete and total waste of everyone’s time. This question does NOT concern homosexuality or the choice to become so (or the genetic predisposition, or whatever). I DON’T CARE WHO IS GAY AND WHO ISN’T! This is a question concerning gender certainly.. but not sexual orientation. If you cannot go forward with this question based on these very simple parameters I would absolutely LOVE it if you would just call me a moron one last time and then stop following the question so the grownups can talk.

Sweet Mary, mother of Joseph. My apologies for making it seem as if there was any relation between the code and being a homophobe. I was really just trying to avoid the exact situation I got myself into. Yay me! Please accept my apology and forget you ever even read the word homophobe.

nxknxk's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater

If you wanted a discussion about guy code (what’s to discuss anyway?) then you shouldn’t have used the word homo/phobe in your question about six times (including in the topic tags: wtf?).

No, you were expecting this and asking for it.

SpatzieLover's avatar

The fact @NaturalMineralWater that you keep mentioning “Gay” “Homophope” and that you are a “Military Man”, on this and other threads, is showing your insecurities as a “man’s man”. It’s all so closed-minded and judgmental.

This question doesn’t come off as a question of “Guy Code”...instead it comes off as “can’t we men really talk anyway we want without consideration for others?”

You are uncomfortable being “too” close to other men. We get it. This has little to do with not watching others pee…that has to do with intimacy and privacy, not “Guy Code”.

hookecho's avatar

I always thought “the guy code” referred to never trying to pick up another guy’s girlfriend/wife.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

… another sad day where I have to stop following my own question.. oh well.. there’s always tomorrow…

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Hey I’ll be the first to admit that I DO suffer from a tinge of homophobia. It’s no more of a crime than Arachnophobia. Once bitten by a brown recluse keeps me on edge with any little hopping thing I see close to my bed… even lady bugs.

And how could I not be a bit wary of some homosexuals? I’ve been followed home, propositioned, experienced the laying on of unwelcome hands and enjoyed the comfortable company of groups of homosexuals who have no issues whatsoever in discussing their desires for certain heterosexual men they are attracted to. Makes me wonder what is discussed of me when I’m not around.

One guy stalked me for miles on the highway chasing my car while demonstrating his blowjob talents in an attempt to pull me over. That’s not cool folks!

Now, I know that all homosexuals are NOT like this, but I am cautious to a certain degree not to get to friendly until I’m comfortable with their self control. Makes it hard to be a persons friend at times.

nxknxk's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies

Thanks for being honest. As you said, it’s not a crime. But a phobia by definition is an irrational fear. There is no reason to fear spiders or snakes, really; only rarely are they harmful. Likewise there is no reason to fear gay men or women; only rarely are we harmful. :]

airowDee's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies

Now you know how alot of women feel everyday! It’s gender equality lol.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

@nxknxk

Yes I do understand that. That’s why I said… I “suffer”.

@airowDee

Yes I meant to make that comparison. And we both know that all men aren’t bad any more than all homosexuals are bad.

I suffer from Banker phobia too.

DominicX's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies

Well, see that’s a different form of it and is more just an extra cautiousness brought on by bad experiences. The type of homophobia referred to in the question was more the fear of appearing gay.

I will admit that I sometimes feel intimidated by straight guys. I know they’re NOT all anti-homosexual, but when you see stories about gay guys getting beaten up or harassed by straight men for their sexuality, it makes me a little concerned that that might happen, so I apply a little extra caution. It also has to do with me being afraid that I’ll be judged as “less of a man” because I’m homosexual, and I know that there are plenty of people out there who would feel that way.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

@DominicX

All straight guys are not anti-homosexual.

The question of appearing gay is indeed the question. But that’s why I think it’s very important for hetero’s to be very comfortable with a feminine side. In the way that Buggs Bunny or the Three Stooges can be quite hetero and yet not offended. Perhaps bad examples but it’s very common with many comedic talents from Jim Carey to Flip Wilson or Monte Python gang.

DominicX's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies

Yeah, I know they’re not all anti-homosexual, that was the point. I just think the paranoia of appearing gay needs to be lessened. No more being afraid to like something “feminine”; just do what you like to do. No one should assume you’re gay because you sit next to a guy at the movie theater—it’s ridiculous. Being attracted to the same sex is what makes you gay, nothing else. But if there wasn’t animosity towards homosexuals in the first place, then no one would have to worry about possibly appearing gay. Luckily, the situation does seem to be improving as the years go on.

DominicX's avatar

And the fact is, @NaturalMineralWater, you were the one who brought up homosexuality. You were the one who indicated you “believed” it’s a choice, which has NOTHING to do with a “guy code”, so tinyfaery’s response was completely warranted. Furthermore, you can “believe” it’s a choice all you want, but it simply isn’t and believing that is a product of ignorance. I chose nothing. It’s just so incredibly fucking offensive and insulting to be told that I chose something like that and since you felt you had to include it in your question even though it has nothing to do with the question, expect people to bring it up, okay? It’s not the kind of thing you just sit there and take. Okay. I’m gonna stop being angry now.

The question itself was fine and you got a lot of fine answers. But including information that tends to divulge the discussion may end up doing just that. I’d watch out for it next time.

tinyfaery's avatar

Blah blah blah…scared of appearing homosexual. Blah blah blah…guy code. Guy code=being afraid to appear homosexual.

That’s all. Thank you. Goodnight.

@tinyfaery has left the building.

ratboy's avatar

Can I be a homophobe if I completely understand why lesbians like girls?

aprilsimnel's avatar

::checks inside trousers:: Nope.

Aethelwine's avatar

Where is @J0E when we need him? Ok, I’ll say it: Why so serious?

I took @NaturalMineralWater‘s question as a lighthearted question. Kind of like this question asked many, many months ago. I really don’t think he meant any harm with this.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@jonsblond I would’ve taken it lightly, had this not started on a different thread

dalepetrie's avatar

@jonsblond – basically, every time I’ve ever heard of man code/man law/guy code/guy law/whateveryouwannacallit, it’s been in jest. These laws were created as a joke, kind of like “real men don’t eat quiche”. It’s basically meant to appeal to the inner boy who longs for the good old days when men were “real men”. Basically the frat boy, “boys will be boys” mentality. I have yet to hear anyone who took it seriously, because clearly even the people who came up with it were smart enough to realize that it was macho bullshit, basically posturing, celebrating the worst parts of male behavior. Pretty much the idea that real men are assholes who do whatever they want, but the most important thing is to appear like a real man…you act like a man so people will treat you like a man and think of you as a man. None of this touchy feely metrosexual crap.

So here comes @NaturalMineralWater in another thread pretty much saying that it’s “gay” for two male friends to sit next to each other at a fricking movie, because it goes against the man code. Well, he didn’t count on two homosexuals, me and all the other people here who just don’t put up with narrow-minded bullshit. Several of us make it clear that it’s asinine and juvenile (not to mention homophobic) to try to discern someone’s sexuality by the simple fact that they sit next to another guy. So he got called on it, and starts to become all defensive about this guy code and comes over here and starts his own “guy code” thread, thinking that there obviously HAVE to be others who live their lives by this joke. And to make matters worse, he pulls out the “I’m not a homophobe, but…and we all know that when you follow up “I’m not a” with a “but”, 999 times out of 1,000 it means you are. Then he goes as far as to charactarize homosexuality as a choice, which logically if it is, then his heterosexuality is a choice then isn’t it? Wouldn’t that mean he could be gay if he wanted to? But we try to piont out how ignorant, prejudiced and just plain wrong he is, an dhow much of a joke it would be for someone to live their life by a “guy code”, which is an honest answer to the question he asked, he decides to stop following his own question.

So if this question had been in jest, just guys wanting to riff on “guy code”, that would have been one thing, but he wanted to engage in a real bona fide philosophical discussion about why it’s OK to live your life by some neanderthal joke code, and seemed to think that by just telling us he’s not what he clearly is, we’d leave him alone.

Aethelwine's avatar

@dalepetrie I didn’t know about any other threads. I’ve never seen @NaturalMineralWater be rude to anyone for having a different opinion.

Fuck me for wanting to think that this was an innocent question

dalepetrie's avatar

Not your fault!

tinyfaery's avatar

People might not mean harm, but that does not mean they do not cause harm. And when they do, they MUST be called on it. The unwillingness to listen to anothers point of view just makes him seem all the more prejudiced.

Judi's avatar

@tinyfaery ; I love and respect you, and I need to tell you that sometimes your passion about the issue comes out so hard that it is counter productive. I think that even if @NaturalMineralWater is a bit homophobic, he doesn’t want to be that way. You can rage at him, but that won’t help him understand and change. There was an opportunity here for education, but the (understandably) emotional reaction put up walls instead of building bridges.
If everyone takes a deep breath, this could be a moment for understanding and growth, and not an angry flame war.
This is one of those posts that I wonder if I will regret posting after it’s to late to edit.

DominicX's avatar

Haha…I said “divulge”. You guys know I meant “divert”, right? Right; it’s a forgiveable mistake. :\

tinyfaery's avatar

I am not raging, trust me. I am not even angry. I see no point in coddling people who refuse to listen or accept. You’d be suprised at how much anger and shame can change a person. Sometimes it’s more affective to anger someone than baby them. Anger causes thought (or at least it should) and leads to questioning yourself. Just my opinion.

You love me? Awww….

CMaz's avatar

“that won’t help him understand and change. There was an opportunity here for education, but the (understandably) emotional reaction put up walls instead of building bridges. ”

Not crazy about the word change, but…

@Judi – You are so right. And, it happens so often. More bridges less walls.
That goes in both directions.

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

I’m always changing, but the fact remains that this question had nothing to do with sexual preferences. It’s incredibly annoying that it digressed to that point. But… I hope everyone had fun trying to drag me out of homophobia.. misguided or otherwise.

CMaz's avatar

@NaturalMineralWater – I totally get what you were/are saying.

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