I need to talk to people that have been or are in domestic violent relationships. Help?

People or women?

preferably women but would also be interested in hearing men’s story’s

ask coffeenut about his neighbors, the beat each other up all the time

This is a question that has been asked on Fluther numerous times. I personally have stayed in an abusive relationship for awhile but instead of repeating my story again and again I’d rather just find the most recent thread and let you read that. I’ll be back if I can locate it.

yes please, i had a look but couldn’t find anything. thanks

http://i.fluther.com/disc/60131/why-do-women-stay-in-domestically-violent-relationships/

ha – that’s the one i posted originally anyway. but thanks so much.

It really depends on their situation. My situation mainly had to do with financial issues. Due to the economy, my job cut my hours back. We were living together and we shared bills (huge mistake). Of course he brought home most of the money. Also, we shared a car (his car). I was afraid that if I left, I would have nowhere to go, no way to get to work, no way to pay my bills, etc. I was too afraid to tell my family what had been going on. Because of all the things he told me and made me believe about myself, I had no self-confidence whatsoever. I tried to leave twice, and he physically wouldn’t let me leave, so I felt it was useless to even try, until a door of opportunity opened and I RAN to it.

I know someone who is in her early 50’s who has been married to the same man for over 30 years. She has put up with his controlling and sometimes abusive behavior for years. Her reason is because she doesn’t believe in divorce. She is a strongly religious person, and she simply will not leave him.

I think for some people it’s a learned habit. Once you become used to something, like cigarettes or a drug, you find it hard to be without. I know that sounds crazy, but I’ve actually heard someone say before that they like being in that kind of relationship. Even if they get out of one bad relationship, chances are they’re going to end up in another.