Can somebody give me a reason why a person would not be able to emotionally attach to someone?

Because the other person is committed to someone else is one of the more obvious (not vampire-related) reasons.

because the other person has something “pending” with someone else… (that happens a lot)

P.S. Think “madwoman in the attic” if you want some kink to it.

madwoman in the attic? what do you mean?

@life: Have you read Jane Eyre? It’s a classic.

*they are cousins?
*they are in separate prisons?
*urrrrm…...the story is set way in the future when heterosexuality is outlawed and they are heterosexual… might make an interesting plot…?
*urrm…future again…all men have been sent to Mars, women to Venus and they live on separate planets?
*they live either side of a very thorny very high and very thick wall of roses that spans the entire earth and as the last green plant to survive that gives life to humans…cannot be overcome by destroying it as it would thereby kill all life on earth…. I dunno…

yes,...yes I do want royalities!

Read Jane Eyre. Mr. Rochester hires Jane Eyre as a governess. They fall in love. He wants to marry her but it is revealed that he is already married to a woman who is mad whom he keeps locked up in the attic. Great gothic stuff – much better than Twilight.

The best resource I know for emotional tension in a story- romance. Read romance novels. The gamut goes from secret babies, secret fortunes, past abuse, self-loathing and fear of one’s own ability to be ‘good enough’.

That’s one scary story, Madwoman in the attic. One’s own ability to be good enough is a good reason, but needs to be expanded.

Because one of them is feverously attracted to the other, but the other murdered someone close to the first.

Hows that for tension ;-)

I would want them to be together, however with your reason, I don’t think they should end up together after murdering someone. That’s a good tension though.

You’re right, that would be weird. Maybe one’s a bank-robber and the other’s a hostage, eventually they’ll become close. Some kind of stockholm syndrome

Read Bel Canto by Ann Patchett.

Some sort of mental illness?

because they have no soul?

Loser is right Many people with autism or Asperger’s disease are often way-above average intellectually but skewed when it come to social skills or relating to others. Folks who are bi-polar are often both isolated and gifted.

How about a daughter that was raised by a dominating and controlling father.

He has been more a partner… A “lover” to her then a father. But it is all under the pretense that of course they are just father and daughter.

That confusion prevents her from ever having a real bonding relationship.
After all that “father” and “daughter” relationship was nothing more then a relationship.

Her having a relationship with another would only play out as a father daughter thing. Since their intimacy as family was a deeper experience.
And the intimacy it carries would be a common connection between intimate man and the father.

A lot has to do with what happened when he or she was an infant. Not being able to emotionally attach to someone according to psychologist Mary Ainsworth this has to do with the avoidant attachment phenomenon due to a missing “secure base”. See

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory

@mattbrowne I read that very article a few months ago after this came up for me in a counselling session…good shout…

S/he has to take care of a disabled relative (parent, sibling) and can’t become involved with anyone else. Or is a cross-dresser and does not want to reveal the true self.

Similar to what @chazmaz said. There are lots of reasons why a person might not be able to emotionally attach, aside from a normal lack of “interest”. Assuming a person isn’t disinterested in attaching for “normal” reasons, such as lack of emotional or physical attraction, but is in fact emotionally or physically attracted to someone else, but still unable to form a lasting and healthy attachment to that person, a common reason is learned avoidance resulting from harmful experiences emotionally attaching in the past. A commonplace scenario involves the child of divorce. During certain ages, particularly around 7 years and up, boys and girls that observe unhealthy conflict or abandonment between spouses can learn that forming emotional bonds with people is dangerous and maybe not really “worth it”. Later on, these individuals may have difficulty trusting, being vulnerable, taking chances, and expressing emotions towards others they might otherwise be attracted to, because they haven’t resolved the losses, or healed from, and reframed the losses earlier in life, in ways that allow them to invest their emotions in new relationships. For many in this position, it’s easier to have lots of shallower relationships, where they don’t run the risk of being emotionally hurt again.

Maybe because one of them has to be in jail for a long time, or even death row. Or one of them has a terrible disease, like aids, so they are afraid to have sex. Or, one of them is the ex from a best friend, or maybe a relative.

Good luck!

Read about Meyers Briggs test and the INTJ personality. This personality type is often not capable of developing close friendships.