General Question

andrew's avatar

Am I a robot?

Asked by andrew (16358points) February 20th, 2008

Google said I was a robot and now I’m having human-identity issues. Google is almost never wrong. Am I, in fact, a robot?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

19 Answers

skfinkel's avatar

Can you cry? If so, you’re probably not a robot.

Vincentt's avatar

Do you eat cookies?

andrew's avatar

Yes. I love cookies. Why do you ask?

cwilbur's avatar

People who think Google is never wrong blithely follow Google Maps’ directions to my apartment, and are never heard from again. Our best guess is that they got into the wrong lane on Mass Ave, realized that they could not, in fact, turn left down some street that Google thought they could, and are still looking for a place to bang a U turn.

(Oh, they never returned, no, they never returned, and their fate is still unknown….)

I’m not sure this answers the question, but it does weaken Google’s reliability.

christybird's avatar

Is there a mysterious panel between your shoulder blades? All TV/B-movie robots have those. Inside you’ll find a variety of gears, buttons, and flashing lights. You don’t really need to fiddle around with those too much unless of course you “go bad” and need to be inactivated OR feel the emotion of love and fry out your circuitry (“what is this ‘love’...does not compute…”)

So, yeah, check for the panel. Use a mirror. If you don’t need to use a mirror to see between your shoulder blades, that is also a pretty good sign that you are a robot.

ben's avatar

Shoot—I keep forgetting to turn off my robot’s existential-questioning functionality. fiddle fiddle.

8lightminutesaway's avatar

There’s nothing wrong with being a robot. I am, in fact, a robot as well. What can you do? I discovered this on what was supposed to be my 9th birthday when I tried swimming for the first time and I shorted out. Once I was fixed and came to terms with my robotness, I was fine. The only awkward part about being a robot is when you try to hook up with a girl. They get really confused… Anyway, I just upgraded and got internet capabilities in my OS which is why this is my first post.

needleinthehay's avatar

well, if you have to ask…

andrew's avatar

Wow. This is what happens when you give moderators the ability to change the ownership of a question.

Best stand back, sferik, before I rain down Skynet on you!

Hell hath no fury like an angry robot. Didn’t you see Star Trek Nemesis?

kevbo's avatar

Do your nipples shoot bullets?

ezraglenn's avatar

google thinks my block is a dead end. It causes a lot of problems…

chaosrob's avatar

Watch “Steel Magnolias” or “Iron Giant” or something. If you’re not sobbing like a schoolgirl with a skinned knee by the end, you might be a robot.

Check the ground around your feet for a tiny Japanse kid in a helmet. If he’s there all the time, you might be a robot.

Are you helplessly compelled to wave your arms uncontrollably when warning others of “danger, danger!”? If so, you might be a robot.

Poser's avatar

Have someone videotape you dancing.

Vincentt's avatar

@andrew – well, because Google only thinks you’re a robot if you eat cookies (or rather, doesn’t think you’re a robot if those cookies are deleted). So if you love cookies, I guess you should come to terms with the fact that you are, in fact, a robot. Sorry to break the news to you.

Response moderated
filmfann's avatar

Andrew, maybe you need to accept your robotiness. Denial is the first stage on the road to acceptance.

zephyr826's avatar

Can we become robots? I’d like to get in on that, if there’s a class or something…

Berserker's avatar

Maybe you’re an android, or a cyborg instead.

Aethelwine's avatar

Pleased to make your acquaintance.

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