If the Fluther community all ended up on a desert island, what would happen?

Talk, talk, talk, talk!!!

I would bring my cooking skills…and then complain lots as my sensitive stomach rebelled!

I know who we’d use for a food supply… but she’d probably taste bad. Better off as bait.

I can only speak for a small group.

@Grisaille and @IBERnineD would definitely be making out. Myself, @Facade, and @AllieOFS would probably be off causing trouble while @Dr_C and @eponymoushipster would be following us around and god knows the compliments would be flying. @asmonet and @MacBean would be having a very interesting and uber intellegent conversation about who knows what. @Casheroo and her darling son would probably be building sandcastles. Oh, and @gggritso would be walking around saying “ziiiiiiiiing” and “STFU GOBOT” to everyone, especially me.

i would, i assume, have my sword with me, so i would be in charge of scaling the palm trees (i can climb like a monkey) and cutting down the lovely coconuts.

Simple. We would all be making sweet sweet love.

Or that’s just my idea.

or i would be parading around with a fake mustache on with @rangerr and whoever else wanted to join in. and drawing self portraits of ourselves with mustaches in the sand on the beach. lets make this happen man!!!!

Scanning through my Fluther and the top of my memory:
This is how I hope Fluther Island goes down
Ben and Andrew would be sent to search for a way to contact the mainlands.
johnpowell would have the music collection on him to keep us sane.
syz can assist in protecting us from all the critters we might run in to.
petethepothead has a self explanatory job.
augustlan will have to make sure we don’t murder each other.
Facade would be sulking about not having her boytoy on the island.
Sarcasm would be fending off the ladies.
FishGutsDale would be making me us food.
Jeruba will be in charge of telling us bedtime stories and can be the mediator.
avvooooooo will go make cookies.
Val123 will find a way to bring her son to the island.
deni and I will go running through the jungle acting like cavemen and wearing ourselves out so we don’t become too hyper and get murdered by the rest of you.

I can’t think of anyone else without searching! NOES!

@chelseababyy I’m all for causing trouble… after I have some drinks with @johnpowell, have a smoke with @petethepothead and @uberbatman and do something that doesn’t involve drinking or smoking with @PnL and @omfgtalijustimdu (since they’re squares <4).
And oh, I have to teach @shrubbery how to play beer pong.

Apparently all i’d be doing is following @Allie and @chelseababyy around the island… I can live with that.

@Dr_C I’ll wear my space pants so at least you have a nice view… or three.

@chelseababyy High five
@rangerr You know me so well :P
@Allie I’d like some happy time grass as well :)

To answer the question, I’m probably just be hanging around, watching. Or if I had some alcohol and/or weed, I’d be being inappropriate =)

@rangerr But @Facade would have me! I’m sure I could occupy her. ;D

WOO ITS GETTING HOT IN HERE

@chelseababyy I enjoy the fact that I would be immediately busy with making out, not even a date first? ;)

If you have alcohol and/or weed, I’d hope you share.
We can go skinny dipping afterwards.
WITH EVERYONE.

@rangerr @chelseababyy Oh yes.. oh yes

NEW ISLAND RULE: NO CLOTHES ALLOWED.

I will be keeping my clothes on!!!

@rangerr So, no tan lines either. Sweet.

Mass nude sunbathing followed by cannibalism.

@IBERnineD Date? Why waste time?

@rangerr so acting like cavemen with mustaches all in the nude, all day every day. if someone could suggest a more perfect life, i’d be glad to hear it….

OHNOES I forgot @AstroChuck! His Boy Scouting skills will help us.

But I don’t need a tan….

@chelseababyy I figured we would be stranded, so we would have the time! But I guess you are right. As long as I got to have a sleepover with the female jellies and we could paint our nails and talk about boys!!!

@IBERnineD You know it. Then you could draw us stick figure comments in the sand <3.

I want to bunk with like a quarter of the Fluther population.

@Allie I would bunk with you any day, lady wiggles eyebrows

I’d be searching the island for a hatch or a polar bear or a smoke monster or something weird. An island isn’t an island without weirdness and creepiness.

Thanks a lot, Lost.

Someone is going to need to tend to all the burnt skin from the naked sunbathing. That ain’t no boy scout trick, either.

@DominicX I’d be searching for Sawyer.

@rangerr sooo nice!

Hey I will cook! I’m sure I could make something yummy with the coconuts Deni gets me!

…I’d probably want to go explore… then I’d get lost. Who wants to save me?

@IBERnineD Neat! I’ll set up a still and make some coconut rum.

I’m lazy. I’ll uhhh… supervise.

@chelseababyy i will save you. also, i’d like to be the designated cartographer for the island. i love maps. and the coconut chopping wont take all that long, i dont think.

I’d probably make conditioner out of the coconuts lol

@deni Hooray! I’ll just have to make sure to be close to you.. If I stray, I’ll just hope you have ESP and can find me.

I’ll be in charge of the coconut bras and grass skirts. Don’t worry girls, I’ll make them cute!

So, lemme get this straight. We would all be well fed, over tanned, intellectuals, with fantastic smelling hair, who talk all day and have sex all night? ...hmmmm this sounds lovely…

There’s far too many boys (and perhaps a few girls) that I’d be completely distracted by to actually get anything done.

Whose in charge of building the houses? Hmm. Because they better be looking like this

@chelseababyy HAHAHA complete with dead animal rug….I’LL SKIN THE TIGERS. STEP ASIDE, MEN

I personally am a huge fan of tanlines. Not on myself… on other people. Just sayin’.

Dr.C and I would take turns being the post. We’d stand holding a flare over our heads so that weary adventurers could find their way home in the cold, cold night. Our dedication and spirit would be an inspiration to all.

I say, also, we put @lefteh in control of political happenings. I’ll go catch all the snakes.

I’d also have to be part of the night crew. No tanning for me. I like my princessy paleness. (Plus there are more creatures to find and poke at in the night).

@deni YES! I’m kind of crafty. I suppose I could make you a shank and a bow & arrow set! Now I have to make us some hunting clothes. Loincloths!

When it gets cold at night, we can all cuddle under the animal skins by a fire.
::swoons::

@chelseababyy I’ll take a loincloth in a size 6 please, thanks. Oh, and extra skimpy too! kthx.

@chelseababyy Loincloths for everybody!!!!

Maybe at night we could have singalongs around the fire? and a dance party?

@delirium – @lefteh for president for sure.

I would be having sex with @deni, @IBERnineD, and @chelseababyy, ALL. THE. TIME.

And making us a coconut radio.

@deni Oh, I won’t disappoint! Get to killin’ them animals woman! <3
@Facade For sure!

Every night, the monkey butlers would regale us with jungle stories.

While the cookies are baking, I’ll be making grass mats. Good for everything! Especially for cushioning or all the hanky panky that will be going on. Who’s going to find me fluff so I can figure out how to make them into comfy mattresses?

I’d be voting you all off ‘cause lord knows I need a million bucks.

@johnpowell would be an excellent builder, too. He’s quite the carpenter.

@drdoombot rawr! thats a love growl

@avvooooooo, @Sampson looks pretty fluffy

I’ll tame any wild horses we may come across.
NO HUNTING THEM PLZ.

OMG! I know what we could sing!

THIS!!!! and…. This

Oh shit, and THIS!

@chelseababyy I love you.

@Facade I am not mattress material. I’m too sassy.

@chelseababyy If any of those is Kumbaya you can count me out.

@Allie What the fuck do you think I am?

@rangerr <33333.

@chelseababyy Just checked the links. We can still be friends.

I love that this has descended into a mix of namedropping and lustpuppy-ing.

@gggritso I’d totally do the flare thing… plus @Grisaille and I could fashion guitars and jam for the night time gatherings…

@Allie lurve for space pants!

@Allie Thank god!

I’d be in charge, and everything would be alright.

@chelseababyy hakuna matata YES!!!!! i’ll lead.

hopefully i have time to enroll in an african dance class before this happens.

@chelseababyy This song would be great imo

@Facade i love madagascar….so much…

@chelseababyy @Facade I’m rocking out to this, because I totally know all the words.

@Allie Marry me. Now. I love them.

Well, if we did have a fire, I’d want to sing Peter Griffin’s campfire song about a legend of the Old West: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghxn38bX7w0&feature=related

We’d need to use someone’s glasses to light the fire, though…

@Facade rofl.

@Allie I love that song so much.

@deni HULA CLASSES ANYONE?

There is a lot of love going around.. Cuddlefest anyone!?

@rangerr Let me clear that with my husband.

How in Gods name did I forget this song?

Um @chelseababyy I am REALLY good at hula…oh I thought you meant hula-hooping…nevermind…

@chelseababyy Don’t make me mod you. (Hovers finger over the shiny, red button.)

@chelseababyy I’ll sing that all day with you.
AND DANCE WITH DENI.

@rangerr HAHAHAHAHAH i’m dancing like the guy in the video right now, in my bed…

I’ve take all the electronics and build an unmanned aircraft to fly to the nearest source of help. After the party died down, of course.

@deni So am I. My laptop is going fall off my stomach soon.

I’m already drawing up plans for an island clinic (I’m assuming after the kind of party we’re having we’ll need one..) Ladies get treated for free ;)

@timtrueman You’ll never want to leave us. We’ll make sure of that.

Oh. I didn’t mean I wanted to leave. Just that we need some pizza and drinks delivered.

I’d be sitting on the other side of the island with all the well behaved jellies watching you bad ones behave all rowdy. There is hope.

@Tink1113 boooo

@Tink1113 you lie!

@timtrueman Drinks? Yes pls!

@chelseababyy is this island tropical? are we getting Bacardi and Malibu etc?

@Dr_C Dude, I only need one kind of alcohol. I’ll give you one guess.

@Facade and @Dr_C Oh pish posh!

Firstly, I’d gather everyone around and see if any cellphones work. If that fails, I’ll take a team to higher ground to both scout the island and potential dangers, bringing the cellphones with us to see if we have access elsewhere. We’d chart the island the best we can with materials available, carving marks in trees as we go to ensure the team does not get lost. As we find points of interest (rivers with fresh water, fish, fruit-bearing trees, etc) the tree-symbol system will get a bit more sophisticated.

As this is being done (I’d say it would take about a week or so before we can successfully gain our bearings) we’d have everyone start to build shelter; ribbing from tree limbs and rocks, foundation from dried mud and clay, ceilings from leaves. Considering our first and and only objective is to get off the island, we’d gather all metallic and shiny objects, placing them in the center of the camp with hopes that a nearby plane or helicopter will see the reflective glare. A fire pit is also of utmost importance.

I’d also attempt to fashion a crude radio device from the electronics we have using my relatively primitive knowledge of device and technology. Of course, considering we have access to all of the Collective’s knowledge, it shouldn’t be too tough finding someone that can fashion a real radio.

Roles I foresee:

@johnpowell is great with his hands and carpentry. Any and all projects go through him, as well as @Dr_C. Enclosed firepit that acts as a smoke signal will be first priority, shelter next. Able hands will help – that means all of us, save for the elderly. A working fish farm-esque pool will help considerably.

All elastics will go towards the hunting effort. @drdoombot and whoever has knowledge of physics will start to look for branches suitable for bows – spear fishing exerts too much effort and takes practice. We’d do well to create crude bows and arrows from what we have. Knives from rocks, as well.

Assuming this is a tropical island, all men and women of larger stature will learn to hunt well with these bows, as there is no telling what types of predators we’ll encounter (panthers, eep).

All men and women able with their hands will start to create rafts and nets to expedite the fishing effort. All reading glasses go towards building a telescope, in hopes that we might see land in the distance from higher ground, as well as survey the immediate area of the island. If we spot another landmass, we build a raft.

We wait.

And yes, I’ll be making out with @IBERnineD 99% of the time I’m not working on getting us rescued.

@chelseababyy JAGERRRR!!! Oh, no, that’s me.

Alright, so I’m no fun. Shuddap.

@chelseababyy The free kind?

@chelseababyy don’t worry sweety you’d get your tequila too ;)

@Dr_C There isn’t a single situation in life where Vodka isn’t completely appropriate.

@Allie Hah.
@shilolo Psh!
@Dr_C You know me too well!

@gggritso Vodka is never appropriate. It is the devil.

@gggritso Being in college has really made me realize the truthiness of that. :P

So we could actually book a real island. It’s only $51k a night, but we get the whole island: http://www.neckerisland.virgin.com/en/necker_island/how_to_book/tempting_offers

@Grisaille Your level-headedness is disappointing

@Grisaille At least with you, we would actually survive.

I’d rather die having a blast than have a chance at a somewhat boring survival…

says the girl who doesn’t drink or smoke or do drugs or have random sex or do dangerous things…

@timtrueman HAHAHHAH!!! Awwwwwesome!!!

@rangerr Have faith. We could so do it!

@Grisaille No need for that. I have a boat. It’s on the left. Over there, behind the bushes.

@Grisaille only men of considerable stature get to hunt? I’m like the tallest guy here! who else is coming with me?

@Dr_C You’re the decoy.

@Dr_C Just be happy I consider you strong enough to take down a panther.

I will catch iguanas. We will eat their tails. Om Nom Nom.

@Grisaille sounds like a plan to me!

@Grisaille Ok I’ll shut up now

I think @Dr_C should play airplane with me since he’s so tall lol weeeee!

@Facade how about motorboat first then airplane? ;)

It wouldn’t be much of a deserted island now…

@Grisaille

Aww…tiny people like me can hunt too…I want to kill a pig, decapitate it, then put its head on a stick and dance around it as I offer it to our new island-god.

Jeez you all are not thinking, we are on an island, we need FISH. I will catch the fish, then we can have sushi and tuna and oh yeah crabs and oysters.

All you young folk might need the oysters!

@Dr_C lol! I won’t snitch if you won’t

EVERYONE HERE IS AN EXXXHABITIONIST!!!

@DominicX Lord of the flies fantasy?

@Facade done!

@Dr_C markyy can come with you. He’s like 6’8”.

@rooeytoo Um, with all the tanned, naked jellies walking around we’re not going to need oysters, we’re going to need Gatorade and powerbars.

Damn, does this mean I have to carry my own non-meat food and survive on fruit only?

@avvooooooo so am I ;)

@gggritso indeed…

@DominicX If you want to, sure. Just don’t expect anyone to save your ass when you’re dangling from by the neck in the jaws of a big feline, 10 stories up in a tree.

@DominicX – last time I went into town, there was a huge boar by the side of the road, obviously hit by a car. Someone had cut its head off and stuck it on top of a traffic sign. Was lovely! heheheh

I was surprised that anyone in the territory had read lord of the flies, course it could have just been someone’s idea of a funny thing to do.

My question is: Once we realize that rescue is never going to happen, who is going to reproduce with who to populate this island forever?

Edit: I apparently called FishGutsDale during my drunk Fluther wedding planning.
I’ll stick with that.

@Dr_C On second though… He might be too busy to hunt with you. ;D

@rangerr DIBS ON @IBERnineD

@rangerr Good question.

@rangerr there’s far too many attractive women on fluther to pick… it would have to be ladies choice.

@rangerr I will have @johnpowell’s babies. We’ve already picked out a name – Rufus.

@Grisaille :P Eep!
@Dr_C

Yeah, that was a direct LOTF reference.

Another problem they had in Lord of the Flies was that everyone was going to the bathroom wherever they wanted. We’d have to make a designated area.

@rooeytoo That’s really disturbing. But I suppose that kind of thing is normal in NT (just kidding). Isn’t it the most sparsely populated province/state/subcountry region in the world?

@Dr_C Isn’t it always ladies’ choice? :)

And @Facade.

Am I allowed to have two?

I mean, the more children, the less the chance of inbreeding, right?

‘sides, @Facade and I would have some beautiful children. I call it now.

jane is so going to kick my ass

@Grisaille after I’m done with the motorboating.. maybe
@Facade you always get to choose ;)

Orgyyyyyy

In that case, I call @Damn_Tony.

I’m not telling who I pick.. Hah.

@Grisaille Excuse me! My genes are completely capable of making pretty babies! And since we can have multiples I’m claiming @Dr_C and @drdoombot!!

@Tink1113 good thing too… he ‘s the only one in your age group!

@IBERnineD HAHA JOKE’S ON YOU

ONLY ONE PREGNANCY AT A TIME

@IBERnineD Yes please! Consider me claimed!
@Grisaille is going to have something to say about this one :P

@chelseababyy Don’t worry, I won’t leave you out

@DominicX – it is normal for the territory and it is disturbing as well! Yep not many non indigenous up here but a couple of crazies like us and a bunch of crocs.

I just received an exhibitionist award for this question and I still have my clothes on!

@Grisaille has a point.. only one at a time.. but guess who gets to deliver them? ;)

@IBERnineD Once you go black…
@Dr_C hahaha!

When @omfgtalijustimdu gets to the island she can take care of the children. She’s claimed she loves kids. We’ll see….

@Grisaille WHATEVER!!!! You are the one who doesn’t want to procreate with me!!!...well at first…
@Dr_C I just choked on my water reading that!

@IBERnineD Well, as long as it didn’t break. ZING. :D

@gggritso 10 internets for that one. WIN

delete

@gggritso wins.

@Facade Oh really? wiggles eyebrows
@gggritso I will have your babies too after that comment.

Time for a cigarette, apparently. Of course, you shouldn’t smoke. Ever.

I say we have YARNLADY and gail make the camp herbal tea every morning. Kinda like slaves.

I just realized that I’ll have to fashion little coconut armor for the little ones @IBERnineD will bear for me…

The Doom dynasty will live on!

I vote @drdoombot off the island.

@shilolo queue “The more you know” music.

@drdoombot Little coconuts? So sorry to hear that….

@Grisaille Don’t be hatin’ cuz all the ladies want me…

I’d have to hide @IBERnineD from all you sex-crazed men.

…There are already over 150 responses. GOODNESS.

I ain’t hatin’. Just don’t be upset when you wake up with a boulder smashed into your head. Or not wake up.

Ha. Hahahahaha.

* squeezes hands together devilishly *

@Grisaille Feh. My armor will protect me.

I just realized I’m vegetarian.
This could be a problem.

I think someone should bring lube….

@Grisaille Hey! @drdoombot is my side dish! I’m not voting @Facade off!...well maybe because she is my side dish too….hmmm

@Tink1113 You are so adorable. I’m interested in how you would accomplish hiding me successfully, I’m no god at hiding :(

…EAT THE VEGETARIAN

UNGA UNGA

This conversation changed directions towards Bone City very quickly…

@Facade I’m sure tree sap diluted with water will be just fine. Not that I know or anything.

@Grisaille you harm one hair on little @Tink1113 ‘s head and I will kill you so hard you will die to death. (Let’s torture her little BF instead!)

@Sampson I don’t mind.

We’re not even trying to survive. Why don’t we just all meet up in a hotel and pretend it’s an island?

@Grisaille WHOA.

@Allie That is a fantastic idea.
@Grisaille I thought we agreed not to discuss that night

I vote @Allie official “Island Finder”

@rangerr That’s why ‘m making cookies! So there’s something you can eat!

And some leaf sammiches. Yeah.

@Grisaille, why do we want to get off the island? We seem to have everything we need here. And I haven’t started my story yet.

However, I do see a need for some adult supervision.

@Allie I totally made a plan of action. Ain’t my fault you perverts are perverting my thoughts with perversion and indecency.

We are only animals, after all.

@Jeruba…I can only survive so long without twitter.

On second thought, we can chisel 140 character messages on pebbles and throw them at each other instead. Hm.

@Jeruba I thought pretty much everything on the thread so far was pretty “adult”... by “supervise” do you mean you like to watch? ;)

I appoint @timtrueman Official Island Finder as well. He suggests we claim the island of California (Part of the world islands in the UAE)

@Allie seconded!

Hey guys, Manhattan is an island, too.

Just sayin’.

It’s too cold there to be naked

@Grisaille Hmm.. Mini Manhattan or Colossal California… this is tough. ~

@Allie likes her “land masses” big.

@IBERnineD Where there’s a fin, there’s a way.
@Dr_C You touch one hair on my little bf’s head and who’s gonna need the doctor now after those dolphins get done with you? Grrrr

I WAS TOLD SIZE DOES NOT MATTER

I vote Allie off the island.

<——-this painted face will help me hide, quick @Tink1113 before they notice I am gone!

@Grisaille They lied

I vote @IBERnineD as one in charge of war paint.

@IBERnineD is that the mask thingy you asked your roomie to smell?

@Facade will be the commissioner of “burn”
especially after what she just did to @Grisaille lol

Think it’d be more like the show Lost

@Tink1113 I have a fin!!! For real!!!!

@Dr_C HA

It’s so hot. Ouch.

sizzle.

@sndfreQ if Lost made a porn version.. maybe

@Dr_C indeed it is! I will be in charge of island skincare as well!

@IBERnineD I got haircare!

In any case, I expect us to throw plays and such to keep morale up.

If this is the case (and considering the facepaint), I vote @IBERnineD for lead part in “Michael Jackson: A MUSICAL”

@IBERnineD We’d have to use a different languge, these people are like vultures!

@Allie New best friend?

@Tink1113 uhhh… DUH (Really though, I have a fin.)

I would vote Jon & Andy as court jesters, but considering there is no beer, they’re bound to become worthless vegetative shells of men.

@Grisaille may I also be head of island glitter/confetti??

@IBERnineD Face cream can’t save you from the island’s RAGING LIBIDO.

@IBERnineD Consequentially, face cream is the aftermath of such a raging libido.

HIYO

@Tink1113 , @Allie and @IBERnineD ‘s new theme song

…i’ll see myself out

@IBERnineD Are you sure glitter/confetti is a good idea? With the nakednes and all… might get “places.”

@Allie imagine the fun you could have cleaning the glitter off/out!

I wish @jmah was here…

@Dr_C Tongues work best as means of glitter removal… or so I’ve heard.

@Allie In that case I will be sure to have ample amounts of Clitter for everyone. I am a big fan of sparkle babies.

@Facade she just got a twitter invite ;)

@Allie yes.. toungues

@IBERnineD 10,000 internets for “cliter”

@Allie Not really. If glitter gets on you, prepare to have it on you forever.

Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.

—-Demetri Martin—

@IBERnineD I’ll bring the Cockfetti! Now it’s a party!

@Grisaille Shut up. @Dr_C didn’t know that. ;)

Yeaaa baby! hahaha

@Facade Nothing is going in my butt. I can guarantee you that.

Whoops

”We’re the 3 best friends that anyone can have and we’ll never ever ever ever ever leave each other.” Awwww <3

@Allie :O I want one of those fins!

I don’t like glitter. I want to be in charge of giving people piercings.

Man, I can’t wait till April 1st on the island so I can go around yelling, “WE’RE RESCUED, A HELICOPTER JUST LANDED OVER YONDER!”

You all go over there and it’s just a pile of rocks and twigs in the shape of an aircraft. Ahh, it’s going to be awesome.

@Grisaille How cruel

No one said living with me on a deserted island would be pleasant.

@Facade That song is going to be in my head for days.

@Allie A few drinks will loosen you up and get you to unclench.

@Grisaille I would be in hiding still, I would probably get left there knowing my luck!

@Grisaille you’re assuming people will want to get off the island in the first place…

@drdoombot Noooo, thank you.

@IBERnineD Im not leaving you behind! We’ll never ever ever ever ever leave each other.

Totally off topic, but fun new toy!

Whoa! Fluther Island is OUT OF CONTROL! I like it!

oh please please can I bring my doggie? I’ll bring some kiwifruit and wool if anyone is keen?!

As long as we have cocktails and each other, we will be fine : )

Uhoh… Did I DBK with the new toy? Is everyone off playing with it? HEY GUYS! COME BACK TO THE ISLAND!

@Rachienz Sure. We’ll need fresh meat.

LOL, oh noooooo! Poor puppy!

And finally, to mark the death of this thread:

Whatthefluther is our king, our ruler, and our god. Everything we do is done to please him. And sccrowell.

~ Fin

@Grisaille I don’t think Gary would appreciate you “pleasing” Sherry… just saying.

If you all get hungry and want meat you can eat @Grisaille, he deserves it :P

After a really long nap under a palm tree, could I eat @avooooooooo’s freshly baked cookies?

I vote myself off the Island and attempt to swim to the mainland

It would be like Gilligans Island

Whoa… sorry I’m late! Did anyone kill someone yet? Do I need to kick anyone’s ass? Will someone make out with me?

C’mere, Lisa.

I, uh, have to show you something behind the rocks over there.

i’d try and make a radio out of two coconuts.

I would chill knowing that my secret submarine is parked on the other side of the island.

@Grisaille Only if Jane’s coming, too. ;-)

What the hell is it with Jane, people?

AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU

obviously, it’s a thing.

my god did I miss the boat???

Holy crap batman, I miss everything!

Uh, I’m new, but I has skills. I’d make out with people and stuff. Uh, I can build things, too…. =/

We would all sit in a circle to listen to @AstroChuck then after a while we would start switching, @harp would be next, the @Johnpowell, then @shilolo, then @PnL, Then @augustlan, then @Allie etc etc etc… we would dance around a bonfire at night and solve the world problems, included but not limited to world hunger, health reform, the Palestinian issue, wars, socialism, the difference between ketchup and catsup, the cake guy issue…

What if the Fluther community all ended up on a dessert island?

@jfos @IBERnineD and @Grisaille in the whipped cream, for reals.

…..and i’d be off, popping the cherries…..wonka wonka wonka

Wow, I think we should change this question to: “If the Fluther community all ended up on a fornication island, what would happen?”

Who’s got a huge basement with strobe lights, heavy music, and inhibition inhibitors?

I’ll build a bar and provide entertainment. Topless women pay no cover charge….

@flameboi Did i hear BONFIRE -

@Sueanne_Tremendous w00t I’d be topless allll the time

@Sueanne_Tremendous What about bottomless guys?

Bottomless guys pay double…

@seeing_red I’ll buy you drinks all night long…

I just have to say no way in hell am I having a baby on a deserted island. Where’s the doctor?! He’s got to have some sort of drugs. lol

So… on this mythical, wonderful island we’ve got girls on girls, guys wanting to be on girls but end up killing each other, herbal tea, monkey slaves, iguana meat, massive stone sculptures, and our very own god and goddess.

No medicine, but we do at least have some hashish. No babies. No clothes except for the occasional loin cloth. And I’m afraid @IBERnineD wouldn’t even survive the massive friction buildup the first five minutes on the island would bring her way. And no wonder with her having the only Clitter supply for 10,000 miles.

In the Fluther-pocalypse, no one gets out alive… except maybe @johnpowell who I imagine would be in a PBR-induced stupor on the remote side of the island. When he wakes up days later, he’ll try to figure out what happened to the rest of us.

Then, years later after rescue, the only official statement authorities will get out of him is that Fluther is so much better than Yahoo! Answers.

I think I would be the guy that people would come to in order to consult for philosophical reasoning. I imagine that I would have a dedicated following (which I would proclaim to have not asked for or intended for) and a few haters. The haters would despise me only because they agree with me.

I’d be the one walking around making constant Castaway references until everyone got so sick of me that I’d be the first one on the menu.

@robmandu You forgot cookies. :)

I’d be chillin’ with my baby daddy, epony, and have him whip me up some good island eats. I’d be talking about how much we miss our ladies and menz with my girl, Facade. At night, I’d sitting around the campfire and discussing the cosmos and Carl Sagan with my good friend, Gris.

And, I’d be thoroughly entertained by MacBean. :)

I want to converse with @Jeruba and DannyC someplace under some tree…
then I will be your judge
I will also be in charge of encouraging socialism

@jmah

:3

“we would dance around a bonfire at night and solve the world problems.”

But not able to get off the island.

@ChazMaz sounds about right!

Uhhh… Looks like I missed a lot.

@chelseababyy yes, yes you did….I’m so scared Chels! So scared… :(

Oh, and I’d platonic canoodle under a banana tree with Lady Facade.

@IBERnineD WHY! What happened!

@chelseababyy She’s due to be incinerated by the great amounts of sexual friction surrounding her that will build up into an overwhelming force (like static electricity) and when it touches… poof!

I’d offer to help, but markyy and I would need to get busy if we’re to reach the goal of 36 grandkids. ;D

@avvooooooo….Interesting.

@jmah Yay for cuddles!

Jesus. Apparently I should never sleep again because I missed all of this.
Trust me folks, an island with Jane on it would become a tropical musical theater. Or she would just do her “My Humps” dance every second of everyday. It’s very similar to living with her in this apartment.

NO ONE WANTS TO MATE WITH ME. fine. i see how it’ll be. my long family history will end with me. :’( i’ll go off on the other side of the island BY MYSELF THEN

grunt.

Wouldn’t mind “mating” with Facade. **exaggerated wink**

@deni I got you.

@deni I’ll bring the sword, you bring the coconuts.

Well I don’t want to reproduce, so I’m cool with not having anyone to mate with.

@avvooooooo 36, is that a lot of work? I just assumed we agreed upon raising one or two religious zealots that will want a bunch of kids of their own to compensate for all the atheist babies born everyday. You know, like one of those kids in the documentary(?): Jesus Camp.

On my to-do list after we crash:
> Collect starfish to pass around as lurve (prevent Lurve addiction withdrawal symptons).
> Make coconut ban-hammers for the moderators to do their work.
> Someone needs to help Tim with making all the handmade awards.

Come to think of it, if I would sell the banhammers as weapons, and lurve starfish as drugs, I could become the number #1 crimelord in no time. I could rule the underworld and introduce cupcakes as the main form of currency. Controlling weapons, drugs and the ability to print money, I could run the entire island for 298 weeks, until @avvooooooo‘s first grilled cheese sandwiches start rolling out of production and take over as the number one delirium on the island. She’s a though cookie, so we’ll probably start a gangwar over control of the island, but destroy it at the same time :(

Worry not children… I (and @shilolo can help with this also) will fabricate medication from the native plantlife and there will be medicine enough to go around (I mean seriously people.. two doctors on the island?).

Also… @IBERnineD shouldn’t worry…. lube is easy enough to make ;)

All the ladies who choose to get to mate.. let us not forget it was decided way early in the thread that it would indeed be ladies’ choice. Think of it as a Sadie Hawkins Orgy.

I choose Holden, Sarcasm and Dominic on my team. Everyone else can just fend for themselves.

How did the situation come up that we are even on this island? What were we doing?

We were on a planet to….somewhere

@rangerr we were looking for a place o have a massive orgy away from prying eyes…

Teams? I call @rangerr, @deni, and @Allie! @Facade and @IBERnineD are welcome to join.

@chelseababyy can I be the team mascot / builder / hunter / boy-toy / etc?

lynneblundell! Come to our side! It is more artistic and awesome
Plus we have DominicX
Also I would add Fyrius.

@chelseababyy She-Woman-Man-Haters club, HO!

@rangerr You know it ;D

@chelseababyy wtf, you don’t think you need me on your team?!

@casheroo Sorry I forgot you. You know I love you YES I DO NEED YOU, AND IF I CAN’T HAVE YOU I WILL STEAL YOU AND TIE YOU UP.

/me steals your group’s resources

/me kicks @PretentiousArtist in the shins. Oops!

Man haters? I’m not a man hater. I love the menses.

Guess I’m going to have to form my own team of geezers. We’ll sit on chairs and bemoan the antics of the younger generation…

@shilolo so a typical friday night?~

@Allie Alfalfa still went on a date with Darla. It’s acceptable to love them.

our group is called Captain Clint Bronson’s motley crew.
Kicking won’t bring back your stolen goods now would it?!

@rangerr Oh, ok. In that case I propose that everyone be one big team. And the people who don’t want to be a team… well… we’ll just eat them. We can make burritos or something.

…but THEY get a group name!

@rangerr We’re Team Kiss-my-ass-because-I-don’t-care-what-you-and-your-stupid-team-think-and-we’re-going-to-make-burritos-out-of-you.

YES! OM NOM NOM

I’m there in between the geezers and the youngins. Where do I go?

@shilolo You’re not going to make a very tasty burrito with all of that sourpuss sauce on you.

@jmah Depends. Do you want to be a burrito.. or eat one?

Our group!
We accept everyone
Except if you don’t want to be awesome and edgy

@Allie, eat one. =) Unless, it’s made of (Astro) Chuck. ;-)

@jmah Good girl! Besides, we love you more than they do.

@Allie as resident mexican i think I should consult on all burrito related activities. Nom Nom NOM!!!!!

Edit: Also unless @jmah is on the team I will become somewhat surly and take it out on someone’s burrito!

@Allie, hee. Aw, yay!

@jmah – this old geezer is having a wonderful time enjoying the tropic breezes and catching all sorts of fish for when the youngins wear themselves out.

@Dr_C Good idea. And @eponymoushipster is great in the kitchen. You and he can make us burritos any day.

So I guess @chelseababyy doesn’t want any cookies from me since I’m not on her team… ;)

@Dr_C Sorry to be the one to break the bad news, but you’re on my team… Campaigning to join other teams only proves my point about you.

@markyy Nah, we’ll get some nannies and pay ‘em in cupcakes. @rangerr has already signed on!

@avvooooooo I’ll be nanny in exchange for alcohol.

We have alcohol ;_;

@rangerr Fine, but don’t tell the others!

I’ll try not to make @shilolo mad… he might come at me with his cane!

I TOTALLY HAVE AN IDEA FOR ISLAND SPORTS NOW! @shilolo and a few other elderly jellies can have walker races! like chariot races only slower and funnier!

I think that by the time that @lynneblundell posts, we’ll all have made it off the island. ;-)

Sorry, @Dr_C, I have to save my “cane” for others. Don’t be sad.

We people on Fluther are the most intelligent online community in my eyes.
I’d bring…my optimism. :P
Really, i can be crazy optimistic so you guys wont get sad.
Im sure we’d be off the island or even set up a little village in no time with our skillz.

@Dr_C: Is that restricted to the elderly and walkers, or can the crips get in on it with wheelchairs and canes and crutches? Cause I’m a fuckin’ speedster with my crutches.

@dalepetrie will have eaten us all inside of 6 months.

not alive. @daloon would be sure to drive us to suicide with his constant deconstructions of the hopelessness of our situation.

I will be spared all of this because I would drown trying to swim home.

@MacBean I thought you’d be the race commissioner.. but if you want to get in on the action it’s all up to you!

Our God Tim demands a sacrifice!

Teams? There are teams now??

@IBERnineD NO! There are just burrito-fillers and burrito-eaters.

And there’s us, the really cool group

@PretentiousArtist Oh, so you’ve decided to become a burrito-eater then? ;)

@IBERnineD “really cool group” = burrito eaters

Is it vegetarian?

@PretentiousArtist Sure, yours can be full of leaves and branches and… stuff.

All right, I’ll join
Captain Clint Bronson’s motley crew will cease to exist!

@PretentiousArtist Huzzah!!!!! Yay for unity!!!!

Unity and nudity!

@Dr_C Will your sex space-ship be here?

@robmandu – i sure hope you meant glitter supply up there, earlier….

perhaps ill form my own team. of one.

@eponymoushipster I just united the island! You cant de-unify us!

WILDCARD, BITCHES….YEEHAW!!!

@eponymoushipster Hmpf.

Kill the monkey!! You’ll make a tasty burrito.

In the name of Tim!!!!

@Allie don’t mess with Furious George™...

@PretentiousArtist I think we just found someone to sacrifice.. ifyouknowwhatI’msaying. (motions to @eponymoushipster)

@rangerr you can be the pilot ;)

@Allie well, usually they want a virgin, so we know you’re right out.~

I think @eponymoushipster just became this islands Piggy, for all you Lord of the Flies fans.

Piggy? Then a little (sexy) back bacon? NOM!

@eponymoushipster Yeah, you’d better add a tilde to that. Maybe we should cut out your tongue first.

@J0E f that.

@jmah a little bit of uhhuh, and a whole lotta ohyeah.

@Allie there is a tilde there. i guess you do go blind from that….

That’s it. I’m starting a clan of tall people only. Everyone taller than 6’ is welcome. We’re going to be called the Mile High Cl… um… We’re not going to have a name, actually…

@gggritso But I just unified the island!!

You all just don’t want to be unified, do you? Well, okay then, I’m going back home. Where did I put my floaty wings?

@eponymoushipster Just found this on tumblr. This is how the island is gonna get food.

@rangerr if this island has stairs, i think we’ll all do just fine.

@eponymoushipster Apparently this island has everything else.

we can always build stairs

Weird thought here…
Astro Chuck and The Lord of the Flies

I didn’t read all of the responses just scrolled down to offer this chilling possibility…

i hate when i miss all the fun but remember, I started the bonfire :P

@rooeytoo I was hoping for a little unity here. I’m quite the fishergirl. =)

ddammmn i feel like i missed so many new developments. i just want to post a reminder though: im doing the hunting/skinning of the animals…if anyone tries to take that job from me they may find themselves skinned as well

You can keep it….

@deni if you need a back-rub after all that skinning just let me know ;)

@Dr_C skinning or no skinning i ALWAYS accept a back rub, ALWAYS…we’re on

@deni anything else you’d like that involves rubbing?

OH, anything involving you, doctor

@avvooooooo I DO WANT COOKIES!

How’s the orgy coming along? I’m not too late, right? I came prepared – which means I’m already naked. Coconut oil, anyone?

Someone says I’m too special for an orgy porgy. <_<
But I came prepared with my bikini on. FUCK YEAH!

@cyndihugs bikini and santa hat? hot

This thread is one giant inside joke. I love it.

@DrasticDreamer you just became my new favorite human

this calls for a conga!

@Grisaille this thread loves you too, it told me about it the other day

@boffin- Ooh, can I be Piggy?!

Looks like someone forgot to bring the orgasm pancakes to the island. Or is someone hiding them from me?

Are orgasm cupcakes okay, everybody? They even look likes boobs! And balls! And licking the frosting off would be a lot fun! Licking the frosting off the cupcakes would be fun, that is…. Ahem.

Looks around confused.

@DrasticDreamer I can make the cupcakes!!

IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER

@chelseababyy http://www.fluther.com/disc/26774/would-you-rather/

@IBERnineD Let’s make them together! How hot would that be?! :D

@DrasticDreamer so very very hot!! I can’t wait!!!

@timtrueman Oh. That helps. Thank you Tim!
Orgasms? Yes pls.

Drastic and IBER making cupcakes together sounds like an awesome sundae with a healthy drizzle of kickass on top.

My name is Grisaille and I approve this message.

Wow this thread is long! This will be the 398th reply to it – so all of those on cellphones – OY VEY! I’ll try to keep this snappy for you: I am in need of a #1 for the mission of leading fluther on a deserted island. Any takers? Apply with Uhura, please.

The party is on. The cannibalism is out. You guys won’t mind if I have food and supplies delivered continuously for everyone? If hunting or fishing or scaling coconut palms is your thing, knock yourself out, but you’ll find me in an extremely comfortable lounge chair by the fire passing a bottle of Silver Patron and pipes packed with the finest green as personally selected by @uberbatman after just having finished a feast of steak and lobster airlifted in along with a dozen kiddie pools filled with imported beer and ice. If you want to work, go right ahead, but please don’t interupt those off us enjoying our sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll. Well, I guess we will need a hand setting up the solar panels for power for my air conditioned shelter and the island sound system….oh yeah, I trust it is okay with you guys that I have lined up a number of bands to drop in and entertain. Hey, where’s that fresh fruit platter? Tink! See ya….Gary/wtf

If we’re forming groups, I have to be with @rangerr and @deni ‘cause they were mah first friends on here. I’m always nekkid! And, uh, I still has some skills… I’m really good at hula-hooping, if you know what I mean.

Leave it to @whatthefluther to answer in the most practical, fun and awesome way to complete a thread. Most of us have been posting on this thread fr a couple of days and no one has come close to Gary’s plan. No wonder he’s on the island pedestal!
btw gary… don’t forget the XX… awesome beer!