General Question

Anonymouse15's avatar

21 year old male. My libido appears to have decreased significantly. Is this normal?

Asked by Anonymouse15 (8points) December 8th, 2009

Sorry if this question is too graphic. I have been single for about a year now and I appear to have lost almost all interest in sex. I used to feel extremely horny at least one or two times a day for…well for about as long as I can remember. But for the past two weeks I have had no interest in sex at all. I wanted to chalk it up to stress, but frankly I am not that stressed. I am graduating college very soon, so I am a bit anxious to make that transition, but it feels like a copout to blame it entirely on that because it is not affecting me too much (I have experienced far bigger transitions, FWIW).

I get a pretty normal amount of exercise – I don’t work out at the gym or run, but I am far from sedentary. My eating habits have been roughly the same as always.

So what is going on? Is this normal? Has this happened to anyone? Did they get over it? Was it a symptom of something larger?

Please help me. I miss craving sex. I want to know that I am capable of enjoying sex again.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

26 Answers

Response moderated
Anonymouse15's avatar

Porn is one of the things that I have lost interest in as a result of this.

gemiwing's avatar

Simply from your age- and that this is new for you- I would actually talk to a doctor about it if you feel that it’s disrupting your life. There are medical reasons this can happen from vitamin deficiency to thyroid issues. Also, some medications can effect libido.

stratman37's avatar

@Sabotage82, I can’t believe your answer wasn’t removed by the moderators.

sliceswiththings's avatar

Welcome to Fluther!
I’m a girl, so it’s different, but in the times when I have “access” I notice my sex drive more than ever. But during a dry spell, I guess I forget about it or something because I also notice my sex drive go down. So it could just be that it’s been a while? Maybe when you meet someone it will kick in again.

Sabotage82's avatar

@stratman37 Hey it was an honest answer. He said he missed wanting sex. What do other men do these days when a woman wont put out. The have the computer put out insted. Go for it @Anonymouse15 watch it until your eyes bleed.

stratman37's avatar

Oh, no, I’m not saying I disagree with your answer. You should just see some of the tamer stuff that they’ve censored ME for. Free speech, my foot!

dpworkin's avatar

I would talk to an endocrinologist and rule out any type of hypogonadism. If there is a problem, it is generally easily treatable.

J0E's avatar

It doesn’t sound like this is actually affecting anything so just be patient, I’m sure whatever is causing it will pass with time.

Sabotage82's avatar

@stratman37 Yeah, you otta try calling them out on it they will boot you.

stratman37's avatar

Been there.

jfos's avatar

When is the last time you ejaculated?

marinelife's avatar

Two weeks seems to early to be worried unless you have begun taking an antidepressant in the alst two weeks.

If it goes on another two weeks then I would consider seeing a doctor.

mowens's avatar

Have you gained any weight recently?

Started taking any medication?


Sueanne_Tremendous's avatar

I agree with Slices. It’s kind of like “use it or lose it”. I know when I hit a dry spell I kind of lose interest altogether. But it takes not very much to light the candle again! Good luck.

JLeslie's avatar

If it continues for more than a month or two get a blood test to check your testosterone.

limeaide's avatar

I had that happen in my early 20s (in my early 30s now), it lasted a few months maybe 6 then my libido went back to normal levels. It’s also happen a couple times since then for short periods of time. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, use the extra energy to focus on getting something else done. :)

Zuma's avatar

Loss of libido can also be a symptom of depression. Graduating from college may not be the joyous event people tells you it is supposed to be—especially since you will soon be facing a tight job market, a pile of student debt, and other uncertainties you don’t have to worry about now. This depressing reality may be breaking through your normal defenses just enough to put a dent in your libido.

Also, it is quite common for people to get a mild case of the blues during the holiday season simply because the days are shorter and it messes with their circadian rhythms. If so, it could be a very mild depression in which your only noticeable symptom is a loss of sexual interest. More than likely it will pass in a couple of weeks—and certainly by Spring. If it doesn’t see a doctor.

mattbrowne's avatar

It’s normal when there’s extreme stress. Ongoing cortisol flooding impacts libido. Reduce stress and it’ll come back.

Violet's avatar

it depends why it is happening, Are you stressed? Depressed? Using drugs or drinking?

DrMC's avatar

As an endocrinologist I can tell you. See an endocrinologist.

It can happen, but you’re a bit young for that. You may be under more stress than you think.
I would start with a history and physical, as well as a total testosterone level drawn in the AM. Your primary care “provider” – (a real MD if you’re lucky) likely will not hesitate to do it, especially if you tell him a complete stranger on the web told you to : )

If you have to see an endo in canada – I would be very interested in how long it takes to get seen there. We in the states are going through our own growing pains right now.

Your “function” has been compromised for a week? – is this just desire, or does your member misbehave?

dpworkin's avatar

@DrMC Does hypogonadotropic hypogonadism ever just remit? I’m sorry, I may not be asking the question correctly; does it require lifelong treatment?

DrMC's avatar

Depends on the cause. – there’s a moderately broad list. If you get whacked on the head, it might. If you have hemachromatosis, then blood letting and leeches!. There is a stress induced form that goes with the stress. Prolactinoma – gotta treat. Evil cancers, and alien brain implants must be removed.

I’ve never tried a tinfoil hat, but always wanted to say that. ; )

Maharet's avatar

drinking a lot of soda or caffinated drinks could have an effect believe it or not. energy supplements as well. stay away from those.

also, you’d be surprised what stresses us out. no matter how far you push something back it may still be affecting your body and your brain. my advice…stop thinking, you could simply be growing up…or about to catch cold. lol you just never know. i’d say if this problem persists longer than a month or two, go see a dr.

if you go now a dr will just laugh at you and tell you to stop worrying.

Pandora's avatar

You may just lack energy. And yes, graduating is a big transition. Now you have to prove you can do what you’ve been preparing for all your life. I know when both of my kids went out into the world they thought they were handling things nice an cool. They were really freaking out. Their personalities changed totally and didn’t regain normal behavior till they finally felt they where where they wanted to be. They lost balance. In school they knew who they were and their goals. As they prepared to leave suddenly they were unsure and no longer so confident in their decisions.
Work out to help release your stress than maybe your drive will come back.
Could also be you are consentrating so much on your future that sex is not as important right now.
Although I would check out with a doctor to make sure it isn’t physical.

Paxan8's avatar

I admit it is unusual for a 21 yr old man to loose interest in sex but you say you haven’t had sex in over a year and I mean porn does get old. I have a very high libido but sometimes I find if I don’t use it, I will lose it. Before making such a big deal and getting embarrassing tests done try switching up your masturbation techniques. Use different oils or implements like pudding (I don’t know what men use for masturbation sorry!!:but that does sound like it would be fun) just something that will give you a different sensation. Now if you are having a problem getting an erection with a partner this is a different story.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther