Social Question

udontknowme's avatar

How to get girls to like me....I'm in the best shape of my life and I'm 13 but face is kinda messed up...

Asked by udontknowme (58points) December 8th, 2009

I’m the strongest in most my classes, I’m terrible in schools, I blush after everything and I only have 1 really good friend….

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

32 Answers

fireinthepriory's avatar

This isn’t what you want to hear, but you’re 13! You don’t have to worry about “getting girls to like you.” Join some clubs, it’s a great way to make some more friends. Then when you’re a bit older you’ll already have female friends in place to hit on. :) And they’ll like you no matter if you’re smart, dumb, skinny, fat, or blush all the time – or they will if they’re good friends.

Xilas's avatar

for life:
Be you, be true grit, never sway, never falter – be humble, be honest, be consistent. View things from all possible perspectives.

for getting girls:
female is the hardest language to learn, but you’re thirteen and have much to learn about them (and plenty of time) One thing Ive learned is that if you can make a girl laugh you can make her do anything (Include rationality in previous statement). Some girls like assholes some girls like nice guys. It it possible to achieve an even combination of both.

Most importantly – get serious about school man, in highschool i had no plans of college.. i hated school. Now i see how important it is, and one day you will too. Make the best of it, don’t think of it as a chore, but more so a luxury – you will miss it one day.

knowledge is a powerful thing.

holden's avatar

Apparently, they start swarming you if you wear AXE deodorant.

…but really, don’t try to “get” girls to like you. Be yourself. They either will or they won’t, and when you’re that age why should you care?

SeventhSense's avatar

LOL for being in the best shape of your life at 13. But seriously personality and attitude are king. Girls love a guy with a great sense of humor and confidence. It’s not always brawn or beauty and even less so the older you get. Just enjoy yourself. It will be contagious and attractive to everyone.

ninjacolin's avatar

why are you “terrible in schools?”
you realize that all you have to do to be smarter is study more, right?
if you got 50% on a test, it just means that you would have had to study twice as much to get 100% on the test. If you wanted a B, you would have only had to study 60% more than you did.

that’s how people pass courses: studying.

Lacroix's avatar

What are your hobbies? Take what @fireinthepriory said to heart. If you get involved in lots of things, you acquire lots of talents. Girls really love a guy that’s good at many different things, and has a life of their own to live. Most of us aren’t too keen on a boy that doesn’t do anything and follows us around.

Pick one girl that you think likes you, and that you like back, and pay attention to her. I don’t mean follow her around, but listen to what she says and make an effort to include her in things.

trailsillustrated's avatar

have a good hairstyle and dress right.

Val123's avatar

@trailsillustrated Is THAT what my problem is!!!!

Parrappa's avatar

A few things. How are you in the best shape of your life at? Judging by your age, you’re probably small and scrawny. Anyway, girls don’t really care all that much about how strong you are. If you have a good personality, you can get just about any girl. Be calm, confident, and friendly and I’m sure more girls will dig you.

The_Inquisitor's avatar

What do you mean by “but face is kinda messed up”?

I agree with @Parrappa, you gotta have more confidence in yourself.

trailsillustrated's avatar

@Val123 now you know you are always looking right for all occasions…....wet dogs, kickin it, flutherin, cookin, teachin….

Val123's avatar

@trailsillustrated O no! You’re starting to know me! Wet dogs, indeed! I certainly dress differently when addressing my wet dogs than I do when addressing my high school science students. Oh, and don’t forget the dang job interviews!

trailsillustrated's avatar

@Val123 ok you get to observe de youngstas, how can you help this young man? ( what do you see the more popular kids doing?)

YARNLADY's avatar

The best way to get girls to like you is to be likeable. It literally makes no difference how you look, if you are friendly, kind and attentive.

To figure out how to make yourself more likeable, think of all the things about someone you like that makes that person likeable, then act like that.

Val123's avatar

O. Be sure to brush your teeth every morning and every night, and floss every other day. And brush your tongue.

@trailsillustrated Honestly? At 13? Acting like arrogant idiots that won’t grow up to be worth much. They’re so worried about how cool they are at the moment, they don’t bother to look ahead. They’re too cool to do the work, and they think they’ll make brownie points by aggravating the teacher. They don’t notice the girls just shaking their heads. Almost all 13 year old boys, hell, heck, 16, 19 year old boys, are notoriously immature compared to their female counterparts. The comparison in a classroom (like the other day, comprised of 16 and 17 year old Jr’s and Sr’s) between the boys and the girls, the discrepancy in maturity never ceases to amaze me.

trailsillustrated's avatar

@Val123 my son is 13, he has the coolest haircut, messy and jelled and spikey, and dresses in the cutest skater clothes, he is shy and shambling, has braces, is awkward, skinny, polite, and is the heart throb of the school.

sliceswiththings's avatar

When I was thirteen, there was ONE thing that attracted me to guys: them paying attention to me. Being greeted by name. Being talked to in class.

I wasn’t “cool” in middle school, and I was ecstatic when boys simply acknowledged my existence. A boy offered to be my partner for a Spanish project. A boy sat with me on the school bus. Those were the boys I like.

Val123's avatar

@trailsillustrated Ah, but he is polite! Too many kids think that “polite” is the antithesis of “cool.”...

@sliceswiththings It’s what I wanted too…but I turned into freaking jelly (and not in a flutherite way!) if a boy, any boy, actually DID pay attention to me. But, to that end, a boy who was patient, didn’t turn away immediately, who worked through my awkwardness and shyness…yes. Those were the boys I liked.

OK. The verdict is in. Brush your teeth, and be patient and nice with the ladies!

trailsillustrated's avatar

@Val123 well, he’s discovered a great secret. He is polite. people love the shit out of him. everybody.

Val123's avatar

@trailsillustrated That is truly the main thing….being polite. My son used to (still does) get by with a boat load of STUFF because he’s so good natured and polite about it all! Same with with my son. Everyone just loves him. He’ll pull a practical joke on you one moment, then come by to help you fix your car the next…. :)

trailsillustrated's avatar

@Val123 there you go. and the clothes and haircut go a long way too, at 13 I think

flameboi's avatar

you are just 13, get a videogame or a soccer ball!!!!
Why the hurry??? I miss being 13, you have at least 4 more years to start thinking in what you are thinking now :D girls that fall for your looks will leave you sooner or later but girls that fall for your essence and who you are will be there longer, and one will stay forever… You don’t need a bunch of girls following you like groupies, you know what you need… you need to cultivate yourself, become an interesting, cultured young man, you will enjoy being a young adult a lot if you do that…

trailsillustrated's avatar

@flameboi you are pretty smart. hear this, @udontknowme ?

Darwin's avatar

@udontknowme – Just wait. All those guys who have all the girls in school seem to end up short, fat and bald, while often the unpopular geeks end up being handsome, assured and well-to-do because they are smart and took the time to become interesting people.

We can’t all be Bill Gates, but again and again at high school reunions people discover that the popular folks now look pretty run of the mill, while the guys who took the time to develop their interests have ended up being the most interesting of the lot.

Work on enjoying your life and on being genuinely nice, and you will in time garner the right girls for you.

Bugabear's avatar

Kinda sounds like me back then. This is what did. Find a girl that you aren’t particulary attracted to and make friends with them. Hang around with ger and joke with her. This’ll help you overcome the whole confidence part. Also if you have your eyes set on someone in particular make friends whith her friends. Her friends have a lot of say in who she dates. And don’t for get to listen to all the oher peoples advice here. Plus general good hygenie is a must.

Good luck. :)

Val123's avatar

@Darwin I remember at my 10 year reunion…“Bill” (not Gates) was a particularly geekful kinda guy. Not real popular in the huge school of thins (not a jock, whatever), but known in our not particularly popular circle…as of our 10 year reunion he was a millionaire in the air industry, and had married a drop dead, gorgeous red-head from France…..“successful” men tend to do that, though. Marry beautiful woman as a status symbol. Which is…a whole different social statement, as I don’t know that “successful” women always seem to have a handsome man hanging off of their arm…..

delirium's avatar

Oh, little fish, trust us here… You may not want to be single but 13 is a bit young to expect much. It only SEEMS like everyone has someone they’re going out with.

I remember, all too well, being in your position at that age. I was short and stocky and awkward. It took a couple of years, but by the time that I was 18 or so things started to fall in to very flattering places. My lack of success with boys has done a 180.

One of the things that I would suggest would be to dress well. I actually have an example that I have in mind… This gorgeous specimen started dressing like this when he was 14. He didn’t look like anyone else and really managed to stand out in a positive way. He had an excellent body but had a very odd face shape (he’s grown in to it some by now). The other thing he managed to do was make friends with a lot of girls. This all has gone very well for him.

Next: Put down the video games and walk away from the television. Go learn to do some cool things that people will be just as interested in as you are. Go fly remote control helicopters, play guitar, learn to unicycle. Find entertaining things that work as a way to break the ice with the people around you.

One of the best things that I ever did for myself was to learn to draw. It’s one of those skills that keeps everyone around me entertained and comes in handy all the time.

In summary: Dress well, be a gentleman, and go find something unique to do. Don’t exile yourself, be friendly, smile often, and just wait until you’re older. It does get better.

nope's avatar

When you say, “how do I get girls to like me”, do you mean, how do I get a date? What exactly do you mean? Coming from a 13 year old, are you looking for a girlfriend, someone to sit next to & cuddle with at the movies? A cute, good-looking girl?

It was touched on a bit in a few of the comments above, but before you worry about that stuff, I would recommend learning how to be friends with a girl first. There are tons out there who I’m sure are in exactly the same place you are, wondering how they can get boys to like them, and thinking their (probably beautiful) faces are messed up, just like you. Find a girl who you can just be friends with, someone you’re not necessarily highly attracted to physically, but someone you actually really like. Make friends. Sit with her at lunch, share thoughts & secrets. When you know how to be friends with her, she’ll either help you with your question, or perhaps you’ll already have a crush on her, who knows. In the end though, knowing how to relate to a female in a more relaxed setting should help you with your goal in the long run, whatever it is.

And remember when you’re working on this, 95% of the people in your life probably already think you’re a beautiful person, inside AND out. So don’t fret about it too much!

udontknowme's avatar

oh my goodness…..THANK YOU! this was my first time using fluther, I had absolutely no idea that people had this much interest in my problems :)

Val123's avatar

@udontknowme LOL! Well, we just like to talk! A LOT!! Welcome, and we hope you stick around!

YARNLADY's avatar

@udontknowme It’s not a personal interest in your problems, so much as being willing to contribute to the overall understanding of human kind. Your question will remain here on Fluther for all users to see, and it also appears on a search by people with similar problems. They can look here years from now, and get help from the collective.

Response moderated (Spam)

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther