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anon's avatar

You've been shipwrecked! What do you do?

Asked by anon (1631points) December 10th, 2009

Don’t worry it’s fine; some aliens have left a transporter machine that will take you back home (or anywhere you like). There are also three boxes that you have opened and are as follows:

A Resurrection-Kit that will allow you to resurrect any single person from history to your current spot. You can ask this person up to five questions before they are transported back to their original time-zone with no knowledge of the event. They might be a little freaked out so go easy on them.

A Make-a-Wish 3000 which is a device that allows you to, well, make a wish. The device excludes wishing for more wishes and doesn’t grant you any special “powers” like X-ray vision or flight. And no, there’s no Robin William so you’re safe.

A mysterious thingimijig. You’re unsure of what this does because the instructions are hard to make out. You can decipher part of the text and think that it might possibly be a vaccine for all known human disease. It’s that or a bio-weapon created to reduce the intelligence of all current living people (future generations should be unaffected). Imagine George W. Bush times six billion. Or worse. Once you press the button (it’s big, red and shiny!) it will release it’s contents into the atmosphere and affect the entire population within one week.

You can only use one of these devices which are non-functional after the initial use. Afterwards the transporter becomes active and you are allowed to return home (you have to use one of them). Which do you use, what for and (if you feel like it) why?

Bonus Question: Do you use the transporter to go back home or elsewhere?...

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32 Answers

ragingloli's avatar

I will activate the wish device and wish for knowing everything that humanity currently knows ( I will assume that this is not a super power ). After all, knowledge is power, and power is money.
Then I step into the teleporter and go to Japan, because I am a weeaboo (and because of the wish I now speak Japanese better than most of the natives).
I will also take the devices with me, use my superior smarts to reverse engineer/repair them and use them as often as I like.

eponymoushipster's avatar

bring the professor from gilligan’s island back, and make a radio out of coconuts.
then we transport to Hooters.


IBERnineD's avatar

I will activate the Wish 3000 and head on over to the Fluther deserted island…

coffeenut's avatar

I use the wish thing, I wish for a box with a “big red button” that when pushed does (not telling) then go back to earth wile it’s still there

anon's avatar

Damn! Seems we have some loopholes.

However, Omniscience is indeed a superpower @ragingloli but nice try! ;)

@eponymoushipster The person you resurrected has to be asked up to five questions and can’t use the transporter. You can try but they’d just be transported back to their place in history. Sorry! You have a good time at Hooters though :)

stratman37's avatar

I use the wish 3000 and wish for the ability to also use the other two things. I then use the resurrection thing to bring back whoever invented the third thing to tell me what it does. If it cures disease, I use it. If not, I don’t. then I go home.

anon's avatar

I wish I could edit this question. ;)

stratman37's avatar

@anon – of course you do!

anon's avatar

For the purposes of the question only using one device means that it inhibits the Make-a-Wish 3000’s ability to do that @stratman37.

I’m calling that base covered. :P

stratman37's avatar

Alright, then I use the wish 3000 for world peace. It would TAKE the wish 3000 for that to ever come about, huh?

CMaz's avatar

I would use the Resurrection Kit.
Bringing back Marilyn Monroe. Would be nice to be shipwrecked with her for the day.

Then teleport back home. Make her a nice dinner, candles, wine.

ragingloli's avatar

it is not omniscience. it is knowing the combined knowledge of humanity. big difference

coffeenut's avatar

Edit: and give the button Box to tyrantxseries when I return

seeing_red's avatar

I’ll take my chances with the mysterious thingimijig. (The 50% chance that it would cure all human disease is worth the possibility of becoming stupid.) Besides, if we’re all stupid, it just may make the world a little more peaceful. crosses fingers

I’d teleport to Sweden; I desperately miss that place.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@anon what, you dont think it would take at least 5 questions to build a coconut radio? also, i’ll tell him he’s going to hooters, so he feels swell for helping me out, then won’t remember anything anyways.

more wings for me.

there was a lot of subtlety in my response, you know.

seeing_red's avatar

@eponymoushipster My question is, why do you want/need a coconut radio? There’s plenty of coconuts at hooters….

anon's avatar

@ragingloli Maybe. Sounds pretty similar to me :)

@eponymoushipster Haha, of course, sorry. I do like clarity though.

IchtheosaurusRex's avatar

I’ll use the Resurrection kit to reincarnate my paternal grandfather, so I can ask him why in the hell he abandoned my grandmother and her four children at the height of the Great Depression. I’ll ask him about the second family he fathered so I can maybe connect with some of my unknown cousins. Then I’ll bust him in the mouth. I don’t need to ask him anything else.

The transporter can take me to St. Thomas. It’s colder than hell here.

proXXi's avatar

I’d call J. J. Abrams.

Phobia's avatar

Well, since we can’t wish for more wishes or uses of the other machines, can we wish for the blueprints? I would wish for the blueprints and supplies, or “everything I would need to build them” (to avoid blueprints and supplies being mistaken for two different wishes).

Pazza's avatar

Wait for the global cooling trend to fully kick-in, and then just walk home across the ice….
(Al Gore is so gonna have egg on his fat smug face!)

proXXi's avatar

LOL @Pazza The Goracle..

But wait!! If we call it Climate Change then we’re covered no matter which way the mercury goes!!

Pazza's avatar

haha, glad to see someone else is awake ;-)
(what’s the mercury reference?)

proXXi's avatar

Mercury as in thermometer.

Pazza's avatar

AH, a bloody big lightbulb just went on!.....

ragingloli's avatar

sure if you can wait until the next ice age

Maximillian's avatar

Bring back a president with the most government secrets.

Pazza's avatar

In the seventies they were convinced global warming would bring on the next ice age.

LeopardGecko's avatar

I would use the wish maker 3000 and would wish to be alive for a much longer life span.

seeing_red's avatar

Huh. I’m the only one who went for the thingamajiig….

King_of_Sexytown's avatar

Best question I have seen so far…. Let’s talk about the thingamajig first. It’s not like most people could get any dumber. My worry would be losing the ones like Stephen Hawking and Lewis Black (he’s a genius and you all know it). I don’t think I would even touch that one. Based on personal previous history I am not the kind of person that should be gambling.
Which brings me to the wish 3000 dealie. I would be afraid to try that. You REALLY have to meticulously word those things!!!
But I just don’t really see what good can come of resurrecting anyone.
After much though and typing in this answer and editing and really thinking about it I think I would use the resurrection kit and then think of the name of some famous person that went missing and ask them what happened to them.
And if I could only teleport once I would go home I suppose. I don’t actually know about that one. Maybe I would go somewhere else. If I couldn’t get home from there again I just don’t know where I would like to go.

zenele's avatar

I use the wish and teleport buttons. I telport home directly so my kids aren’t worried about me, then wish us all back to the deserted Island once a year – it’s a great vacation.

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