Social Question

Ruki's avatar

If a man is not attracted to men, but likes penetration, is he gay?

Asked by Ruki (75points) December 11th, 2009

Well you’ve seen the videos of the woman doing the man. I always wondered what it makes them if they actually don’t find men attractive…

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37 Answers

global_nomad's avatar

This questions is…interesting. I don’t think it makes them gay, it’s just a fetish. Being gay means that you are actually attracted to the same sex and fall in love with them.

the100thmonkey's avatar

I like tobacco. It doesn’t make me a skateboard.

eponymoushipster's avatar

what have you found to be the case in your experience?

delirium's avatar

Plenty of men are straight and still like penetration and prostate stimulation. The two things aren’t mutually exclusive.

JLeslie's avatar

My answer is no, he is not gay.

proXXi's avatar


Pegging (sigh)...

Breefield's avatar

@delirium I was just about to mention that, you beat me to it.
The prostate is big part of male sexual stimulation, see this wiki under the heading “Male sexual response.”

I don’t really feel like commenting on the labels aspect of things, as that has terrible potential to get people riled up.

the100thmonkey's avatar

To rephrase: No. He just likes something to be put up his bum.

laureth's avatar

A man is gay if he is attracted to men. If he is attracted to a woman with a sex toy, it doesn’t make him gay, just kinky. :)

tinyfaery's avatar

No. Gay means you are sexually attracted to and aroused by men.

Response moderated
delirium's avatar


master_mind413's avatar

gay means you like the same sex, this is such an odd question

delirium's avatar

This is a fine question. I understand why it could be confusing to someone who didn’t know a lot about alternative sex practices and general kink.

proXXi's avatar

Kink: It’s not for everyone, otherwise it wouldn’t be kink..


Not necessarily. He just likes being penetrated. Lol.

Oxymoron's avatar

No, it doesn’t mean that he likes me. It just means he likes to stick his stick wherever he can.

stemnyjones's avatar

No, it doesn’t make him gay. The definition of gay is being attracted to someone of the same sex, so if he isn’t sexually attracted to a man, he isn’t gay.

There are plenty of nerve endings “up there”, and it feels good to most men. That’s why he likes penetration.

rawbylaw's avatar

depends on whether lube was used. if lube was used, he’s not gay. if lube was not used it a good chance he’s dick cheney.

Merriment's avatar

I like oral am I a lesbian?

Liking certain sexual acts that are ass -ociated with a gay sexual relationship does not a gay make.

DominicX's avatar

What @tinyfaery said. Being gay means that you are attracted to the same sex, nothing more. You cannot determine sexuality by preferences for things like penetration. Furthermore, who says all gay men like being penetrated? That’s a ridiculous assumption to make…

Jadey's avatar

No it doesn’t! =) Being gay is about more than a like of penetration. Actually, being gay doesn’t imply any sort of like for penetration.

MacBean's avatar

Aw, I thought I was going to get to actually add something to the conversation, but then @DominicX and @Jadey mentioned that not all gay men like penetration. Now all I’ve got to say is I’m pleased to see a lack of “Yes” in the answers!

laureth's avatar

Now that I think about it, I read on Savage Love that about a quarter of gay men don’t actually even like penetration. I am pretty sure this doesn’t make them straight, though.

JessicaisinLove's avatar

No, of course not.

Violet's avatar

NOT AT ALL. Male penetration has become very popular with straight men

TominLasVegas's avatar

no. I admit I’ve had a sex toy used on me.It felt hot,but I wouoldn’t want to be with another man. Its just a fetish for me.

proXXi's avatar

There are two phases of homosesual activity:

Phase One- Sex acts that can be performed by homosexual and heterosexual couples. (toys can be used).

Phase Two- Sex acts that can only be performed by a homosexual couple. (toys cannot be used).

stemnyjones's avatar


And just how is “Phase One”, as you call it, homosexual at all? It doesn’t involve sexual attraction to a man at all. It just involves stimulation of the prostate gland, which is a pleasurable area on a man.

proXXi's avatar

It’s the difference between my kissing another man and going all the way, for example.

Some activity involves anatomy shared by genders. Some activity involves anatomy that isn’t shared.

stemnyjones's avatar

No, it’s not. If a guy’s girlfriend stimulates his prostate, it’s NOTHING like him kissing another guy.

That’s like saying if a guy goes down on a girl, that’s Phase One of being a lesbian.

proXXi's avatar

I’m not suggesting that prostrate stimulation is akin to homosexuality.

Having my prostate stimulated by a another man’s finger is phase one.

Having it stimulated by his penis is phase two.

laureth's avatar

This sounds like that old “first base, second base” stuff that is like a thrilling game for teenagers who have never done it before, but not to real grownups that have sex.

Not only that, but it isn’t very pertinent to the question, which asks about neither a man’s finger nor a penis.

PretentiousArtist's avatar

Whoa whoa whoa
I like some penetration and I’m straight! That just means they like penetration!

proXXi's avatar

I believe my comment is relevant. Did the OP ask if penetration made a man a homosexual or not?

Whether the penetration comes from a woman’s finger or a man’s penis seems quite pertinent to the question IMO.

My comment merely suggests that there might be ‘degrees’ of homosexual acts.

I’m also contributing to the post by asking: ” what makes sex homosexual? is it the the gender of the persons involved in general or their anatomy?

My comments are in no way a criticism of anyones sexuality (in case that explains the plaintive nature of some replies above.

laureth's avatar

The question details would seem to specify a “woman doing the man.” Unless she’s using some man’s finger or penis to do it…

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