How can I save Christmas dinner from my lazy sister in law?

I have a very… unique sister in law.
She hates entertaining – it’s so much work – but she loves the attention. So, every single family holiday must be spent at her house. This invariably causes problems, like this year’s Thanksgiving turkey having the taste and consistency of wet talcum powder.

Just as I was contemplating stealing Christmas away from her this year (I love to entertain, and am a fairly accomplished cook) I get the mass email she’s sent claiming Christmas dinner. This year, there’s a theme.

“Italian Fiesta”

I won’t even touch the fact that ”fiesta” isn’t an Italian word. I will state that in no way does overboiled boxed pasta and a jar of warmed over Ragu give me visions of sugarplums.

Where my SIL claims “comfort food”, I see an abomination replacing the only good tradition surrounding this commerco-religious holiday: turkey, cranberry stuffing, figgy pudding, eggnog, and wassail.

HELP!?!