Social Question

baileysmom12's avatar

Do you have a good friend that makes you tired to be around?

Asked by baileysmom12 (957points) December 15th, 2009

I have a friend that I think the world of but she makes me tired every time I am around her. She is very self conscience about everything. I have to be careful about how I word a lot of things because she has a habit of taking things out of context. What is the best way to deal with her. I really like being around her most of the time but some time I advoid her phone calls because I just don’t have the energy to deal with her. Please help.

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16 Answers

anoop66's avatar

Just be frank and tell her what the problem is. Sugercoat it a bit and you should be fine. She seems to be a really close friend, so she should understand. Tell her, you are my best friend and I love you for blah blah but there’s this small thing…....

deni's avatar

my best friend, who is a guy, is usually in a mood where every little thing bothers him: other peoples driving, his mother, babies, adults, the weather….it is so FUCKING annoying. sometimes i just dont want to try. its too much work.

Janka's avatar

Since you still think that you like being around her, I think the easiest solution is to be around her as much as it is likable for you, and then just not answering her calls etc when it is not.

You have no duty whatsoever to answer everyone’s calls all the time. You have no duty whatsoever to hang with your friends more than you have the energy for. Give what you can, and don’t fret about not giving more.

If she asks you about this, gently and honestly explain the reason, making clear that it is your lack of energy as much as it is about her features getting on your nerves.

Blackberry's avatar

Yep. I just tell them how they make me feel and that I will limit my time with them.

Cotton101's avatar that question my friend! Have a golfing friend that wears me out. Great guy, but always negative. The greens are too slow, they should cut the rough, and on and on and on..have a great day!

cookieman's avatar

I too have an old friend like this. If I met her for the first time today, I would run in the other direction. As it stands, we have twenty years of history.

She is draining! Full of drama, clueless and never shuts up. It’s become worse as she gets older. We’ve had numerous frank conversations – they simply don’t faze her.

I decided years ago to limit my time with her. I see her, maybe, three times a year now.

Silhouette's avatar

I have one. He is bipolar which comes with challenges of it own, but he has started to use it as an excuse for everything, all the time. I’ve know him for 26 years and lately he is using his condition like a get out of jail free card. He is starting to treat others like crap and blaming his selfishness on his bipolar disorder.

Cotton101's avatar

Cprevite, the drama wil wear you OUT..

Cotton101's avatar

Sihouette, oh my gosh, understand that statement as my ex was bi-polar!

knitfroggy's avatar

One of my very good friends wears me out with her worrying. Her windshield was cracked and she asked me every day if I thought she was gonna get pulled over. I’d tell her it was probably ok and not to worry. After about a month of it I replied “How the fuck should I know?!?” And then I felt really bad because it hurt her feelings. I told her to just get it fixed and stop driving herself insane! She is a person that needs constant reassurance. I love her but it really wears you down.

NUNYA's avatar

I sure use to baileysmom! HO HUM….........HUM DRUM! lol Good question!!!

aprilsimnel's avatar

Yes. And then when she starts her “I can’t…they won’t…this doesn’t…” I change the subject. Otherwise she is a very sweet and kind person, and I like her, so I just want to be a good influence. I know that when we got to be friends, I was also very negative and self-defeating in my thinking, but that is changing.

I would be sad if she were negative forever.

JustPlainBarb's avatar

If someone makes you feel that way, they’re not your friend. Sounds like the friendship is pretty one-sided. I would limit or eliminate my contact with her. Your friends shouldn’t bring you down, they should uplift you and enhance your life. You’re a very kind person to put up with this, but life is too short to have to deal with this.

baileysmom12's avatar

@ABJustPlainBarb Thank you. I really love this person (just as a friend) but she is just so insecure about everything. She has told me that other friends have stopped having anything to do with her and it just breaks my heart. She is a very kind and careing person, she just drains my energy sometimes. Smiles and hugs!

Silhouette's avatar

@Cotton101 Thanks. It depressing because he used to be funny, sweet and friendly now he is a passive aggressive a**. I’ll always love him, but I don’t invite him to my table as often as I used to.

Cotton101's avatar

Oh, they will wear you out Silhouette! Never can predict their mood shift! One minute they are on top of the world and the next minute, the opposite. My ex would go and buy buy buy, hide credit cards from me, etc…it was a bad ride!

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