General Question

rentluva5256's avatar

Is it not good if you're in 9th grade and never had a boyfriend before?

Asked by rentluva5256 (555points) December 21st, 2009

I’m a freshman in high school and I’ve never had a boyfriend before in my life! Does that mean anything? Is there something wrong with me?

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37 Answers

JustPlainBarb's avatar

Nope, it just means you haven’t found the right boy yet. Do not worry about it… just concentrate on having fun with lots of different kids.

ChocolateReigns's avatar

No!! I’m in 8th grade and I really don’t care. Just hang out with your girlfriends…you’l find the right guy sooner or later.

rangerr's avatar

Why would that even be considered wrong?
My great-uncle is in his 80s and has never had a girlfriend.. nothing is wrong with it.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

It means you’re normal. Don’t be in any rush to get in a relationship. When you find the right person, you’ll know.

Seany's avatar

I can’t help but think that isn’t helping.

rangerr's avatar

@Seany How? It’s perfectly acceptable to never be in a relationship. Especially at OPs age.

jrpowell's avatar

My first GF was when I was 17..

Lorenita's avatar

nop ..
I had my first boyfriend when I was 18

Blondesjon's avatar

I’m 38 years old and until @Ivan this year, I never had a boyfriend.

Ivan's avatar

Wait, your mom hasn’t told you yet? Awkward…

SamIAm's avatar

no way!! you have your whole life to have a boyfriend, or not. I have plenty of friends who never dated until college. boys are overrated anyway ;)

flameboi's avatar

I had my first gf when I was 18, no rush…
there is nothing wrong with you, I think is great, I’m sure a great guy will show up at your life at the right moment :D

flameboi's avatar

I totally agree with you, we are overrated :D but don’t tell anyone I might alienate my fellow male jellies against me

StillStephanie's avatar

Nothing is wrong with you. I didn’t have my first boyfriend until the last month of my freshmen year… and I was rushing to find one so when the next guy that came around i took, and it was not good. He was a huge cheater, lied through his teeth, the worst guy Ive met. Just wait and you will find someone when the time is right.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Don’t allow peer pressure to cause you to doubt yourself. Enjoy the company of the girls and guys you know and go to school with. The best things (socially) seem to happen when you are no out looking for it with a sense of urgency. You are normal and worrying about such thing is common at your age but quite unnecessary. You will do just fine!

Fyrius's avatar

I’m 22 and I’ve never had or looked for a girlfriend to date. No ambiguity pun intended.
I think some people just need more time before they feel ready for that sort of thing.

Haleth's avatar

In the 9th grade, dating isn’t that much different from friendship. You do most of the same stuff together that you would probably do with your friends, like going to movies, going to the mall, or walking to class together. At that age having a boyfriend seems like it’s more about competing with other girls for status than about actually liking the guy. Dating becomes more fun when you’re a few years older.

nikipedia's avatar

I don’t think I had a boyfriend until after I finished high school. And now I have had lots of them. I hope you won’t mind if I give you some advice: be patient and be picky. Not many guys are worth it. (No offense, gentlemen.)

Fyrius's avatar

It’s cool. We don’t think all girls are worth it, either.

flameboi's avatar

Oh yes!!! be picky I forgot that how could I!

PretentiousArtist's avatar

Your life “does not mean anything” if you don’t concentrate on your studies at school.

flo's avatar

It is all the sutle and not so subtle messages/images that are so unhelpfull. There is nothing wrong with not having had a boyfriend at any age. It looks like you are not gullable.

lonelydragon's avatar

I understand why you might feel this way. I can remember the intense peer pressure to have a boyfriend at that age. But there is nothing wrong with you if you don’t. Maybe you haven’t found a good guy yet, and that’s OK. As other people have said, concentrating on your studies is a good use of your time, but I’m willing to bet that you have leisure time outside your studies, and you may think you need a boyfriend to fill it, right? Not necessarily. Use your free time to pursue hobbies that you enjoy and hang out with your school friends. As you get older, you’ll have less time to spend with friends, so enjoy the opportunities available to you now.

Oxymoron's avatar

I don’t think it really matters. Don’t feel different for not having dated by/in grade 9. Believe me, it’s a waste of time when you’re that young anyways. Everyone that age is way too immature to handle real dating and don’t last long anyways. It’s normal for sure though. No one I knew had a boyfriend/girlfriend in grade nine. And if they did, it was only for a about a week.

Berserker's avatar

Nothing wrong with that. It will happen when it happens.

rentluva5256's avatar

Thanks to all. I really do feel better now! :)

flo's avatar

Rentluva5256, I just wanted to add to my my earlier answer the words “in the media” right after the word “messages”.
Is your question “solve a problem” or “start a discussion”? What is the indication of that?

rentluva5256's avatar

It’s to solve a problem. My personal problem. I didn’t know which one to pick. This one sounded better to me.

flo's avatar

I hope you are absolutely sure that you never need to care about your question. Lots of people have jerks/abusers for boyfriendsor girlfriends, so you are the wise one.

Megan64's avatar

You are awesome! Keep confident!

CyanoticWasp's avatar

I was married for over twenty years and never had a girlfriend.

I could cry.

Darwin's avatar

I had my first boyfriend when I was 16. My daughter is 17 and a senior, and still hasn’t had a “boyfriend” although she has been on a few dates and has lots of friends who are boys. She says that none of the boys at her school are both smart enough and fast enough to keep up with her, so she plans to wait. Besides, she wants to go to medical school, so she has a few years to go before she really has time for a relationship.

You are perfectly fine. No one “needs” a boyfriend just to have one. Wait until you meet someone you like, who likes you back, and with whom you can have an honest and fun relationship.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

There’s nothing wrong with that at all. What there is something wrong with is to go out with someone just to feel good about yourself because you finally have a boyfriend. People should not be treated like “toys” or “objects” and to go out with someone just to show everyone else there isn’t something wrong with you is to treat the person you are dating like a “toy” and/or an “object”. Don’t buy into the twisted logic that “you’re only important if you have a boyfriend” if you can help it.

Janka's avatar

Just wanted to confirm what everyone else is saying: there is no rush.

raven2783's avatar

i am almost 27 and single. my first girlfriend was when i was 18. it was also the first age i had sex. my father and his father and so on where all around this age (18) as well. so to them it would be abnormal for you to have already had a boyfriend. hehe. i also believe the longer you are alone the more wisdom you will enjoy, but of course everything is balance and you must not be alone or with someone to much. life is really your game, and the seriousness only comes into play when you take it seriously, or when someone else doesn’t respect anothers freedom of choice and life on this planet. if we were all enlightened then maybe it would be a lot easier ride. life comes in waves of all different colors and no matter who you end up with or when you will end up by yourself in the end. this is your life so enjoy it! and there’s no rush. take your time and watch others to learn from their mistakes and their brilliance.

zachary's avatar


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