Social Question

Fminorpenta's avatar

This girl is confusing me, help me please?

Asked by Fminorpenta (68points) December 26th, 2009

Alright heres the deal….I met this girl where I work she drops things off there at night…well she was new the other guy left.

First time I saw her I thought man she is PRETTY!but the shy guy Iam did not even really talk to her, I did offer to help but she said no I got it….and the next couple nights were just small talk stuff, then I worked myself up to joking with her….but I can hardly flirt I suck at it lol.

then this last night we had a cool conversation about what schools we were from and all and both laughing, and then she goes here is my number and myspace! I could not believe it.

but my phone is broke at the moment. so I dropped her a message on myspace and she leaves a comment on a photo saying “lmafo youre so cute”

I have not really tried to persue her too much she replied to one of my messages than after I tried to talk to her just about whatever ya know….nothing.

than tonight she came in, and I could tell she did not seem well like not happy kinda , I straight up said are you ok? she goes yea…. but she did not laugh or really talk at all….I will see her tomorrow night….

Ugh, I really like this girl!

but what do I do???

help me here please?

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46 Answers

JesusWasAJewbot's avatar

Dont show it too much, i dont know why but for some reason some girls dont like that aggressive pursuit.

Id say youre doing good right now, take it slow. Keep the small talk, maybe find some common ground other then school? What else is she into? You already have her myspace look around, maybe you can find some of her interests just from the profile or from her photos. You guys work night, why not ask her for a late dinner or something? Coming from a shy guy myself i know its a hard thing to build up that courage but you never know if shes feeling the same way!

Fminorpenta's avatar

Thats a good idea found some common ground.

CaptainHarley's avatar

Sounds to me as if you’re already headed in the right direction: find out what she’s interested in, continue to make small-talk with her, don’t try to get too close too soon, and just be friendly.

HumourMe's avatar

Why is she confusing you? It seems like things are going well, you’re both showing signs that you’re interested in one another.

Fminorpenta's avatar

I am not sure if she is being friendly, flirty, or blowing me off ya know…...

XOIIO's avatar

I think she might be toying with you, or she doesn’t share the same feeling as you do. “lmafo youre so cute” sounds like she likes you, but just as a friend. But maybe I’m wrong, I haven’t been on the dating circuit much lately. I haven’t been on it at all actually…Sob

Janka's avatar

She has just only met you. It is not likely she herself knows yet if she wants to be friendly or flirty or whatever! She cannot telepathically know you any more than you can telepathically know her – girls are people too, you know. So the first step is just for you both to get to know each other a bit better, and only then can you start worrying about if you want to be friends, or something more, or something less.

john65pennington's avatar

Make a move and ask her for a date. nothing formal, just a meeting to talk and maybe have a cup of coffee. get to know each other. you apparently really do like this girl and maybe the feeling is mutual. if you are shy, do this: find a mirror and practice talking to her in it. this really helps to build your confidence. remember, keep a smile on your face at all times. a warm smile attracts other people like a magnet. good luck. john

Silhouette's avatar

You already have a foot in the door. Don’t worry about being nervous, she’s already seen you nervous and she thinks it’s cute. Make a date like johnpennington suggest, something casual. Have fun.

chyna's avatar

It sounds like she wants you to ask her out and you haven’t yet. She gave you her number, her myspace account and you haven’t really done a thing about it. So what’s to be confused about? I think she was acting a little unfriendly because you haven’t put forth any effort as in calling her. Your phone is broke? You can’t find a phone anywhere?
Borrow one. At least call her and chat if you don’t want to ask her out yet.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

When a woman says to you, “In my opinion, you’re so cute”..she is definitely registering an interest. The glitch I see is this….she wrote to you and you did NOT respond to what she wrote. Then, you tried to engage her in a conversation and she was not enthusiastic about talking to you.

She thinks you are not interested in her….feels rebuffed and so you will have to make a move.

“Hey Sally….you know I haven’t called you because my phone is out of commission at the moment….and I didn’t get a chance to respond to your email…but thanks so much for the compliment…...I think you are really cute, too!”

Then…if she smiles…say, “Listen, I have the day off on Friday, want to grab a (coffee, dinner, lunch)? It would be great to talk to you….I’m kinda shy and I want you to know that…but I really would enjoy spending time with you.”

Don’t putz around….she is showing an interest…what have you got to lose? At the very least, you will have a friend. Don’t take her out on some big gigantic date….coffee or a sandwich is a good start.

Honestly…she thinks you aren’t interested…as you are NOT CALLING HER…didn’t answer her email…she NEEDS to know that your phone is not working…please tell her that…and ask her out….if you are too shy….give her a note when she comes in…something.

Let’s get this straight——she wants you to pursue her . You don’t have to be aggressive….or go great guns on her….simple stuff works.

Please keep us posted…I’d like to know what happens.

Good luck! :)

chyna's avatar

^^ ‘nuff said, go for it.^^

JesusWasAJewbot's avatar

Thats the only thing that sucks lol, its 2009 yet guys still have to do the work. My current gf actually called me the “girl” once lol cause i wasnt making moves at her speed. Its all in fun i guess, the thrill of the hunt for the guy.

chyna's avatar

@JesusWasAJewbot In all fairness, the girl in this situation put herself out there. She gave her number and myspace not knowing if the guy was interested.

JesusWasAJewbot's avatar

@chyna Very true, i can sympathize with the guy though.

Sometimes its hard to tell signals from a girl, are they being friendly? Do they wanna go out? Is something more there? It all comes with time but being a “shy guy” myself it gets nerve racking and all you can think about is how you dont wanna come off stupid, or pushy. Then with making moves its even worse, do you play it cool and act like the respectful nice guy who wont make a move to its absolutely clear, or do you jump off the edge and go for it?

Futomara's avatar

Gift wrap a can of sardines and give it to her. Wait for her reaction. If she acts like she loves the gift, she’s into you. But, then your problem becomes she’s a liar. If she reacts in disgust, tell her you must have switched her gift with your cat’s. And ask, “What’s my cat going to do with a diamond bracelet?” If she reacts positively, she’s a keeper and into you.


You could grow some balls and tell her how you feel about her.

Fminorpenta's avatar

Thats how you get all the girls aint it Futomara you salty dog , you! :D

hell I am about tempted to try it lol….

Futomara's avatar

@Fminorpenta – It’s all in the psychology ;) I could further expand that if she thinks you are a cat lover….. lol

Fminorpenta's avatar

lol… Id like to hear this! if its really good I might buy the cat food!

JesusWasAJewbot's avatar

Oh boy, this cant end well lol.

Fminorpenta's avatar

I will say hey heres a little late present ;) she would be like oh wow wtf? CAT FOOD and then bam I figure it out lmao

Fminorpenta's avatar

Hey I got nothing to lose right? :D

JesusWasAJewbot's avatar

@Fminorpenta Yeah, her interest in you. Id say be yourself, if thats not something youd do why do it now?

Fminorpenta's avatar

lol it just seems funny man!! I mean I am only 19 I think I will find another girl my good man!

Fminorpenta's avatar

How about this Ill see how she acts tomorrow if I can not get much out of her, or hang out with her

I am gettin the cat food hehehe

JesusWasAJewbot's avatar

@Fminorpenta Very true, try the cat food trick. Please post another topic after you do it entitled “Sardines and asking girls out dont work well.”

Fminorpenta's avatar

lol or will it XD?

Futomara's avatar

@Fminorpenta – Here’s the real trick. Do give her a gift wrapped can of sardines. The smile on your face when doing so will be infectious and you’ll be less nervous. This will get her into the right frame of mind. Then as she opens it, you’ll hardly be able to contain your laughter. She’ll see the sardines and laugh herself. Then you start telling her the story of how you came up with the idea. Then you’re in like Flynn!

Really, my point is, just be yourself and tell her how you feel. Don’t rely on a trick or gimmick. She’ll either react positively or she won’t. Sure, you can probably get laid using a can of sardines. Works for me every time. But, that’s just when I want to get laid. But, if you really like the girl, no games, no tricks. Be honest.

After all, it’s a numbers game and every rejection gets you that closer to a YES. And wouldn’t you rather be in a relationship with someone you can be honest with from the start?

Fminorpenta's avatar

@Futomara “Sure, you can probably get laid using a can of sardines”

Enough said. lol…..

just joking and seriously I will make a move and just see what happens.

JesusWasAJewbot's avatar

@Futomara im so buying my gf a can of sardines right now, if this doesnt work im screwed cause i hate sea food =\.

Futomara's avatar

@JesusWasAJewbot – It’s your gf. It won’t work. She already knows you. My suggestion for you is to write little post-it notes, like “You’re sexy, but smell like fish” and so on and hide them in her things. Put one in her purse. Put one in the fridge. Put one on the fridge. Put one in her dresser drawer, and so on. Post them all over the place. Report back with the results!

JesusWasAJewbot's avatar

@Futomara You are good with suicidal advice >=[.

Futomara's avatar

@JesusWasAJewbot – lol.. You gotta leave out the “but you smell like fish” part (unless she has a great sense of humor) and then it’ll work. But, it’s a funnier read. But if you want suicide advice, when you have a bunch of friends over, excuse yourself to the bedroom and get a pair of her panties that are blood stained (from her period, all girls have these) and come out screaming to her, “What the hell is this?” as you wave the panties for all to see.

JesusWasAJewbot's avatar

@Futomara Im way too high for this.

chyna's avatar

<———- Stopped following this thread.

Futomara's avatar

@Futomara hands @chyna a small wrapped gift.

Val123's avatar

I think we’re dealing with someone here who’s…15? I don’t think the sardine gift would be understood….

xshortiex's avatar

well it sounds like she was upset about something and didnt really want to talk about it, doesnt mean she’s upset or any less interested in you. dont worry. just next time she comes in chat to her as usual and let her know that youre there for her to talk to if she needs it. just give her some time. she’ll either confide in you or be back to normal. good luck.

Val123's avatar

@xshortiex (LOL! She’s a girl. Get used to it @Fminorpenta)!

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

@Fminorpenta What do you think you are playing at?

Re: This girl is confusing me, help me please?

The content of your question suggests the you were educated in English.

Your wildly inconsistent spelling and grammar suggests you are having a joke at our expense.

Your answers to other questions are not nearly as bad.

Why are you jerking us around?
If I did not have evidence from other things you have written that you can do much better, I would have kept this comment private.

I am sympathetic to those whose knowledge of English grammar and spelling are limited.
You constructed your question to intentionally mock us.
The joke is on you!

Fminorpenta's avatar


No, I could not make this up…..because she is real her name is Sarah and I won’t give her last name.I do like this girl, and was looking for advice from more “experinced” people. If you want to know I am only 19.

Do not take this personal and I am sure you will not because you are clearly a superior human being with astounding English grammar skills.

So, Dr.Lawrence are you going to answer the question or just talk about my poor grammar and spelling, and assume that this is a joke?

Val123's avatar

@Dr_Lawrence He’s probably still in Middle School or High School….

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

You reply demonstrates my point. You can write well enough when you care to.

You have already shown her that you are sensitive to her feelings and she has indicated that she thinks you’re cute (if I correctly decoded your question.)

Keep showing your interest without being pushy. Over time you will be able to tell if she responds to your sensitivity and interest in her.

I am always willing to try and help if the questioner is sincere and they make a reasonable effort to explain themselves well.

I did not detect sincerity from your question at first, by rather a contempt for those from whom you were asking for help. (Yes, I really talk this way!)

When someone asks a question, they are asking others to take the time and effort to consider the question and offer a thoughtful reply!

Your question evoke many foolish and rude answers because those people seemed to not take you or your question seriously. There is a lesson for you in that, I believe.

I sincerely wish you luck with this girl you find attractive.
I look forward to any future questions you may ask.

Fminorpenta's avatar

It’s fine. Thanks.

Steve_A's avatar

aw dude he dleted his account? was looking forward to what would happen haha!!

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