What qualities are good to list in my onlilne dating profile?

I would say I would mention your political stance and religious views. Those are things you should never talk about on a first date, but having it already known sort of cuts out the chance of failure because of it.

If the format of the site will let you, just write an intro instead of making a list. If you keep it conversational, it will make you more approachable.

What are some of your personality traits and quirks that you were considering listing?

best of luck

@Marina : That I’m compassionate, sensual, a good cuddler. You know. The usual.

:o)

I think character traits are kind of useless. I don’t know if you are an accurate observer of yourself, or whether you are telling the truth.

I would tell a story. Maybe two or three. Pivotal events or ordinary event in your life that you think demonstrate the way you behave, or what you like to do, or how you think.

Of course, there’s no chance such things will fit into the format of a dating site, so forget my advice.

When I tried online dating, I learned very quickly that “the usual” got me more attention, but not the kind of attention I necessarily wanted. So I decided to always be forthcoming, and wrote a profile that would separate the wheat from the chaff (which makes up 99.9% of online daters, it seemed). Here’s what mine said:
________________________________________________________________________

Life hasn’t been easy but it has improved greatly, and I want someone to enjoy the rest of it with. I am neither in a hurry nor desperate, and I am willing to invest the time to get to know one another from the inside-out. I am looking for a long-term relationship that is founded on honesty, respect and trust; where we can both uninhibitedly love and laugh, explore our passions, and enjoy the simple things. At this point in my life sincerity, fidelity and devotion are priorities. I do not need a man to define who I am as a person—I am happy, and can get whatever I want for myself—but what I really desire can only be found within a loving, dedicated, and deeply intimate relationship.

ABOUT MY PARTNER…
… I want a man of integrity who communicates openly about everything (especially his emotions) and understands that give-and-take must be balanced (which doesn’t always mean an exact 50/50 split).
… I want him to know his strengths, to not be ashamed of his weaknesses (we’re only human), and to take responsibility for himself, but NOT to take himself too seriously.
… He should also be self-confident enough to freely provide support and compassion (as well as to receive it), because life does have its ups and downs.
… I want someone who will accept me as I am, but also to encourage me as I continue improving my self, rather than feeling threatened by it.

ABOUT ME (in addition to reciprocating the what I want from a mate) …
... I have a teenaged son whom I have raised to be very independent. Neither of us are looking for a father-figure for him. He just wants to see me happy with someone who treats me well.
… I LOVE music and have eclectic taste—preferring originality and creativity over the limitations of ‘genres’. The same can be said for my taste in movies.
… Sports are another interest; especially basketball and football.
… I also like driving and road trips, as well as learning about different cultures and cuisines.
… I don’t dress suggestively, but I am very sensual; I believe that it’s not necessary to flaunt sexuality. Within the comfort and security of a loving relationship, I am VERY affectionate, passionate, and playful ;)
… However, I do not need to be with a man to feel valuable in society, nor to satisfy my biological urges; so I am not interested in someone to spend time with until something better comes along (for me or you). And I have NO use for the empty meaninglessness of casual sex or “friends with benefits.”
… I have fallen into a rut where fitness is concerned, but I am becoming more active again and I enjoy being outdoors. I am curvaceously full-figured / proportionately plus-sized and need some one who will stand by me through thick and thin (literally).
… I’m not pretentious or materialistic; I believe that it’s WHO WE ARE that’s important, not what we have.

Sorry it’s so long! I’d rather put it all out there than try to play coy; I’m very forthright and definitely not one for games—and I expect the same in return. Send me a message or note if you are interested in building a GENUINE friendship, as a potential foundation to a long-term relationship.
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@hawaii_jake Are there any other qualities you can think of, and if you don’t have the space to tell a story, do you have any quick anecdotes? I don’t have a good example, but instead of just saying, “I’m compassionate,” you could say that you enjoy volunteering at the animal shelter, like listening to people and solving their problems, or whatever it is that you do. If I were hypothetically reading an online profile, seeing that someone is sensual and a good cuddler would make me suspicious. Whenever a guy has described himself to me as sensual, it almost always meant that he wants to have sex, and sooner rather than later. Sensual is very often used as an euphemism for sexual. It’s often the same when a guy talks about cuddling together. Not every woman is going to think the way I do, but when I meet a new person I don’t decide if I want to have sex with them until I feel comfortable around them. If the person brings up sex before I’ve decided, it just makes me feel queasy. If early-on dates are too soon, an online profile is way too soon.

If really mean that you are sensual, in the sense of being more aware of and enjoying all of your senses, find ways to show rather than tell. For example, say that you love to try new foods or cook, talk about visual art that you enjoy or music that you like. Instead of just saying that you’re a good cuddler, describe an ideal night in together (and don’t add sexual overtones.)

That I’m compassionate, sensual, a good cuddler Means to me that you are interested in sex, sex, sex. If that is what you are looking for then those are good, but if you are looking for a relationship I would not recommend using those words.

@Haleth : Quick anecdotes is a great suggestion. Thank you.

@hearkat : Thank you for including all that. It helps.

To everybody: thanks for the help.

I agree with @JLeslie…and with @Haleth…be more specific.

Or just go the opposite:

I am a guy that is really desperate…I mean, so desperate that I started volunteering with “Meals on Wheels” just to get to talk with females. I figure if they are homebound they aren’t going to be able to move fast enough to get away from my cheeky banter and/or my super football stories. It’s been great! So far, I’ve gotten two pairs of hand-knitted mittens, a vegetable chopper, an invitation to Saturday Night Bingo with the Girls, three pineapple upside-down cakes and a clapper. (I don’t mean that little electronic device, either…I mean a real “clapper”...Mrs Leiten insists I dance an Irish jig while she claps until her hands get tired. It’s been great for my waistline, not so good on the ankles.)

While it will be difficult to tear me away from my young-at-heart fans, I would like to be able to meet someone who might want to have dinner at a real restaurant and not one that is delivered out of a van. I would like to meet someone who has a sense of humor and can’t knit anything but their brows. Must like to cuddle and not just pinch my cheeks and has to be a bit more touchy-feely than just checking to see if I’m a bit flushed to offer me some aspirin and tea.

Are you the woman I’ve been waiting for? I hope so..since most of the women I meet are usually waiting for me…well, okay…mostly for their tarragon chicken with green beans.

(Good luck….:)

Be honest about who you are and what you want. No photos of you from 20 years ago (as your current pic). The more you reveal about yourself; the more shallow you will find many people to truly be. Online dating is not a place to “bait and switch”; these are people’s lives with whom you are interacting. Good luck, indeed.

@hearkat What an excellent online dating profile.
Any man who matches what you are seeking would be very motivated to invest the time to get to know you.
I wish you the best!

@Dr_Lawrence: I haven’t used an online dating service in a couple years. I definitely got a lot fewer “winks” and such once I put that up. I didn’t want to waste my time on chit-chat with self-absorbed, immature dolts, so my intention was to scare them off. I did meet several nice men via that profile, dated a few, and had one serious relationship come from it.

When that failed because he was incapable of open honesty, I did look at a few online sites again, but found the same guys still on there over a year later. So instead, I chose to become more active and enjoy my life as a single person. I figured that if I meet someone special in the process, we’ll have something in common. I found social groups for hiking, yoga, walks, women, adventurers, etc. via Meetup.com.

Through those groups, I have made several new friends, and did meet a guy that I dated for a while and maintain a friendship with. Just last week I had a first date with a guy friend I had met through an online social site. We’ve known each other for a few months, and hung out as friends a few times, and found that we have that elusive “chemistry”, so we’re seeing where it takes us.

@Hearcat:
You are on the wisest track! You are someone special. Smart and sensitive!

@Dr_Lawrence: Thanks! Age and surviving much adversity has helped!