GUYS Why would you save Christmas Cards?

i think he considers the ones adressed to him as “more imortant”
because he believes the he gets to be treated as more. atleast, thats i what feel sometimes. why not just ask him about it?

@Aaronanswer I don’t know scared maybe, I’ll just find them and rip them up. Any other cards he doesn’t keep, even from girls if the just write from. It has to have love from. Plus one is from an ex. He didn’t keep it last year becayse she addressed it to both of us, but this year she just addressed it to him, so he snuck it upstairs to keep.

i keep them bc i guess the memories and my family is all over the counrty so i don’t get to see them often

I always keep mine, they are hidden in my super secret spot

Mabie he keeps them just because all are addressed to him and he wants them, just cause.

@coffeenut Why are they hidden in your secret spot? Do you have a girlfriend?

@Dibley: it sounds like this is something that is really upsetting to you. do you live with him? did you ask him? did you tell him it bothers you? the reason i ask if you live with him, is you could suggest that all the cards be kept in the same spot, like a box, and see if he still insists that his are separate from the rest, and then you could bring it up.

um, (sarcasm)
my secret spot is the garbage…I don’t keep them. second part was my answer.
I know someone who does keep them, I sent them this question

@jca Yes we live together, he is a very private person, sometimes too private. If he wanted to keep them then ok, it was how he did it that upset me. All the cards were up around the house, he knew I would be taking them down, so while I was in the bath, he took out 2 cards that said ‘love from’ on it and took them upstairs. One was from an ex one was from a girl at work. He doesn’t know I know, but I’m not stupid. I don’t know why he does it, I feel like I mean nothing.

@coffeenut Thanks

@Dibley : i don’t understand why you didn’t bring it up. if you said he doesn’t know that you know then you didn’t tell him or ask him? the girl from work is the ex or is friends with the ex and sent it on ex’s behalf? anyway, i would just ask him and discuss it. ask him if it would bother him if you did the same.

i guess whether or not this type of thing bothered me would depend on how long they went out – if it was a casual girlfriend or if it was a long-term one. if it was a casual one, i would not be too concerned. i would take it as he just is sentimental. if it was a serious girlfriend, i would try to make myself feel better by thinking about whether or not she’s currently available. if she’s currently not available, like if she has a present relationship, i would not worry too much.

but i would start with a discussion.

@jca He was with the ex for about a year maybe. She is with someone now but they were friends about 12 years and they are still in contact, although he doesn’t tell me when he hears from her. I just feel so paranoid and hurt and deflated and don’t know what else do to. There is so much more to tell….I ‘m just so sad.

@Dibley: telling him how you feel is something that i would do. if he values you and the relationship he will listen and discuss.

@jca I know this sounds silly. but then he would know that I know and he might be more careful in future and I don’t want to risk that.

@Dibley : yes i understand -that makes sense too. so then my next move would be to reassure myself and lessen my anxiety by thinking about the girl right now – she’s in a relationship, she’s currently unavailable. maybe she is boosting her ego by flirting with him and enjoying his receptiveness. enjoying his attention.

on the other hand, being in a relationship where you constantly have to be vigilant can be tiring. only you know if this relationship is worth this vigilance and anxiety. or maybe you are anxious in other areas of your life as well?

@coffeenut Oh, I think I’ve been hiding mine in your secret spot. Sorry!

After reading your other question and getting more info here, I have to ask, why the heck are you living with someone who never even told you he loves you?
obviously you are more commuted here than him.
What does Dr Phil say? “you teach people how to treat you.”
if you think so little of yourself that you would move in with someone who doesn’t admit to loving you, then tou create your own misery.

Patients in nursing homes use them sometimes to make items…..keeps them busy.

@Judi You really have no idea.

@Dibley ; I may have a better idea than you think. I’ve been around the block a few times. Had my heart broken and manipulated more than once. I came out on the other side and survived, and a better person for it all. So can you.

@Judi Ok, but I’m not in a bad relationship.