General Question

coffeenut's avatar

What to do if your "Johnson" is stuck in a bottle?

Asked by coffeenut (6171points) January 2nd, 2010

What ways can you try to remove the bottle without hurting your friend?
how much time do you have until you have to call 911?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

38 Answers

Buttonstc's avatar

Go to the ER. they’ve seen it all before.

pjanaway's avatar

You must have a pretty small winky if it gets stuck in a bottle. lol

eponymoushipster's avatar

reassess your love of coca-cola and go to the doctor.

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

In the future, please refrain from putting your johnson in objects where it doesn’t belong. Unless you really, really love that bottle.

Gossamer's avatar

hit it with a hammer

chyna's avatar

Grease it up with butter. If that doesn’t work, go to the ER.

poisonedantidote's avatar

urinate, the increase in air pressure will cause it to pop out… or your testicles to inflate, either way its all good.

jrpowell's avatar

Tap it with a hammer to break the vacuum. But I think you are full of shit and thought this would be funny. It isn’t.

mrentropy's avatar

Why remove it? It makes a big ol’ bulge in the jeans, adds width, and is probably the best condom you can get.

Is it a glass or plastic bottle?

Esteban's avatar

Is there one large enough for me?, me think’s not

AstroChuck's avatar

What do you mean if?

chyna's avatar

@AstroChuck I think he is pre-planning.

Esteban's avatar

@chyna: It’s a good thing to plan ahead.

coffeenut's avatar

lol, I did not do this. no one reads topics?
also no one has ever heard this song
by weird Al?

I’m just wondering what could be done to fix this problem, or is 911(going to the hospital) the only option

eponymoushipster's avatar

obviously some people here have had their business in a bottle and can’t take a joke. hell, maybe it’s still stuck.

Kayak8's avatar

And I thought only Dr. Pepper “came” in bottles . . .

robaccus's avatar

Take an ice water bath

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

Go to the ER, they’ve seen everything. Then you should reassess your erotic relationship with beverage containers. I’m assuming, for the sake of your ego, that this is some kind of a wide mouth container.

janbb's avatar

Is this “Nutty Penis Question Day”? If so, I’m gonna log off and go read!

jrpowell's avatar

I suggest Kafka.

Lightlyseared's avatar

Go to the ER. A simple amputation will solve the problem and stop it happening again.

janbb's avatar

@johnpowell For shrinkage?

jrpowell's avatar

Hesse is for shrinkage.

ccrow's avatar

It’s actually not by Weird Al, apparently.

Disc2021's avatar

The first think I would do is question why or how it got in there in the first place.

coffeenut's avatar

@ccrow thanks for pointing that out I always thought it was his song


Artist: Hawaiian Ryan

Cd:Saving Ryan’s Privates

still a good song

Michael_Huntington's avatar

Did you just accidentally a coca-cola bottle?

AstroChuck's avatar

Ooh. Coca-Cola Cl ass ic.

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

I must be old-fashioned, I had no idea bottle erotica was so popular.

troubleinharlem's avatar

… why is it in there anyway?

Arisztid's avatar

@johnpowell I think he is full of shit too but I hope he is not and comes to the ER in my town when I am down there working. I am not called to the ER that often but I would really want to see the winky/bottle size ratio firsthand.

@coffeenut I do have to state that such things, if they are amusing, make the rounds of a large portion of the hospital (if it is not a large hospital) but do not let that put you off from going.. really.

woodcutter's avatar

finish crankin it off. After it goes soft pull it out?

scotsbloke's avatar

Just enjoy it, if you’ve stuck it in a bottle We’ll have to assume it’s never seen and never gonna see girlie’s bits so get it where you can I say!

tyrantxseries's avatar

@coffeenut your link doesn’t work… here is the song.

Kayak8's avatar

Why do you call it a Johnson when the name is clearly Genie . . .

Buttonstc's avatar

Good one, Kayak. !

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