Social Question

Ranimi23's avatar

What could be the reason for a woman to be so nervous and cold near a man?

Asked by Ranimi23 (1911points) January 3rd, 2010

I see her once every few months. We’re not friends at all.

The feeling I get from her every time she is in a terrible pressure to my environment. Interior suddenly become frozen like a stone, such indifference. I do not know if it’s something in me that makes her these feelings but it sure has not happened to me with anyone ever.

It’s something in me or her? I’m very kind and nice person in my life.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

19 Answers

Spinel's avatar

Perhaps she so has a history with men – a dark one at that. It could be her father was abusive, or a past boyfriend seared her heart (or worse). The bottom line is, something happened in her past that crushed her trust of the opposite sex and you might resemble whoever did it (the resemblance part is a wild guess).

Another scenario is she might just be bitter…at the world. Why? They all have their own reasons. I’ve known people in this category. They’re glaciers and care for few. When one walks by, you can feel it.

Or it could be personality issues, but the past explanation makes more sense.

Pazza's avatar

She’s going commando, and she’s just robbed a bank.
Oh and the blokes a cop!

Just_Justine's avatar

I think we do pick up “vibes” from people. Maybe she has a dislike of you because you remind her of someone, or maybe someone said something about you that you are unaware of. Who can tell? Maybe she has issues all round, with men and ice’s them out. How does she react to other people?

Is she important in that when you see her you need to get on with her? If so, compliments a smile and general humour can put a person more at ease.

If you don’t find her important in this setting, then why bother? You can’t expect all people to like you all the time.

scotsbloke's avatar

I see her once every few months. We’re not friends at all.

Well, to heck with her then, It’s no biggie is it?
Sometimes people just dont like people. Sometimes for no reason whatsoever.
as @Just_Justine said – if it doesnt affect your life, Bin her from your mind.
Just like that!

lovemypits86's avatar

maybve she’s a bitch or doesn’t care for you too much?

JustPlainBarb's avatar

Maybe you remind her of someone else in her life that she dislikes.
I’d just ask her about it. Maybe she doesn’t even realize she’s like that around you.

Ranimi23's avatar

If this is importent: I first met this girl about a year ago. I have asked her out to go to see a movie with me. She seems nice back than. She said “no” and I moved on. Never talked with her again, but when I see her I said “hi” and she was nice back to me, but suddenly it stopped. I heard she had problems with her last relationship, but it’s not my problem.

I thought I will try once more time, but it seems like making a fool of myself. She just ignore me if she want and all the other stuff I told you about. Strange girl for me.

ETpro's avatar

There could be any number of reasons. You will not know which is right unless you spend a great deal of time with her and slowly decode the secret, or just ask her. It’s a sensitive question to ask, and you’d need to phrase it carefully so as to assure her you are not planing to use the information to hurt her. But it should be possible to ask in a way that shows you care and are sensitive.

Eureka's avatar

Don’t try it one more time. You asked, and she said no. That means no. Out of your desire for this girl, you are seeing and imagining things that are not there. You are making a fool of yourself.

I am a member at another site you also belong to.I have been following your relationship with her through the last 8 months of questions you have asked about her. I am not trying to be mean, but you really need to move on. Please take the advice you have been given, both here, and at other places. This girl will never be yours.

phillis's avatar

Ramini, it looks like we’ve already helped you with this very recently.

In fact, there were two women with whom you had this very same problem, and for which you announced your new year’s resolutions to move on from them.

There doesn’t seem to be much likelihood that there is already a third woman causing you the exact same problem after only a few days. I would like to suggest that you revisit the answers given to you in the first link, and hopefully mull them over, rather than taxing the energy of the community when other members also need help with their problems.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

Have you tried asking her directly why she doesn’t like you? Perhaps some it lies in why you’re so fixated on her; maybe you come across as creepy to her. Stop thinking about her. She doesn’t like you, for whatever reason. Move on.

Lorenita's avatar

I don’t know but I act very akward and very distant and cold when I like a guy.. I have no issues with being extremely friendly and warm with men that I know I would just be friends with.. but those who intimidate me, and make me nervous.. are the ones that I like.

bean's avatar

I think…. some girls get so nervous they hardly talk, they can’t say anything or even talk to a friend of yours while your there but not you….its because she likes you, but she becomes very shy but tries to connect with you any way she can. I do that.

she must really like you then.


She’s a bitch and hates men or she’s frigid, or both!

deadhead's avatar

For a women to feel cold and nervous around a man he must,be cold and also callous and hard to talk too.Into himself too much and not a good listner to her inner feelings.She should run not,walk as fast as she can away from him.

ETpro's avatar

@bean, @MRSHINYSHOES and @deadhead Isn’t it utterly fascinating how three intelligent people can look at the same situation and form about it three so vividly different conclusions?

Avray's avatar

Ask her again if she wants to go to the movies! you think it might be a good idea, don’t you? Honestly, there is absolutely no way of guessing. I am pretty sure she is interested in you, though ‘interested’ is a big word and not always good in the way we’d like it to be. You will wonder unless you find out for sure, and that, sadly, is one of life’s biggies.

Good luck whatever you decide.


@ETpro Any woman who is like must be a bitch, lacks warmth and sensuality, or is a man-hater. Unfortunately there are too many around. Lol.

angermanagement's avatar

wow, so many hatred posts about this girl.
I’ll tell you one thing, if this is the same girl you posted about in your other posts, then I’m gonna tell you one thing. If she’s ignoring you, it’s either that she hates you OR LIKES YOU.
I’m gonna go with, she probably likes you but doesn’t know how to talk to you. I bet 100% that there is a big misunderstanding on both parts. Do you act cold and distant around her too? Your probably giving her the same ignoring vibe that she gives to you. Am I right? Honestly, if your doing that, then, she probably thinks that you hate her or something. What you need to do is actually go and talk to her about this. Problems like this won’t be solved with you just sitting on your butt and not doing anything about it. Gather some courage and get off of your ass and ask her what is going on?

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther