Social Question

Cotton101's avatar

How do you handle people that never hear a word you say?

Asked by Cotton101 (3434points) January 5th, 2010

We all have friends that never stop talking, and when you give your “2cents,” they never hear a word you say!

How do you handle these kind of people?

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25 Answers

Judi's avatar

My in laws think I’m sweet and quiet. It’s just that I was raised to not interrupt. You can never get a word in edgewise around them. I just let them think I’m quiet. If I really need to communicate with them I write a letter.

Cotton101's avatar

@Judi Oh my gosh, can I relate with that statement Judi! Ditto and ditto!

partyparty's avatar

I am more than happy to listen to whatever my friends have to say, BUT if I feel they haven’t listened to me, quite often I will say ‘so what do you think?’ or ‘what should I do about it’.
I soon find out if they have listened to what I have said!! LOL

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I don’t – they’re not my friends.

limeaide's avatar

I handle them by not giving them my “2cents”, I give them very shallow answers or confirmations or nods. Most people just want to tell you whats on their mind or are waiting to speak. Listen carefully and watch body language, if they really want your opinion they’ll ask and wait for you to tell it. If not life goes on…

prasad's avatar

Say Good Bye, and leave!

thebull's avatar

Stick two fingers up to them

downtide's avatar

I don’t bother wasting time talking to them except where absolutely necessary.

Cotton101's avatar

@thebull is that why you are called, the bull? loll

Thank you for your answer and have fun on Fluther!

thebull's avatar

No it isn’t cotton, lol, i just say it like it is. Thanks i will i think.

Cotton101's avatar

@thebull gotcha…have fun!

philosopher's avatar

Treat them the same way until they realize what your doing. Usually they do and then they will actually listen to you.
LOL occasionally I do this to my Husband. He asks me about matters we already discussed because he is preoccupied. People multitask and they forget how to really attend to a conversation.

mattbrowne's avatar

Interrupt by saying, sorry, I didn’t get this, what did you say? (also gesturing with your hand)

Typically the other person will repeat a part but a bit more slowly and then you can ask again without interrupting, for example, what exactly do you mean by that?

This will slow down the other person even more. Then it’s your turn to ask the key question: Are you interested in what I think about this? Usually, the answer is, yes.

There are nice people with a tendency to never stop talking. And many don’t realize how annoying this can be. Help them learn. Try the strategy I just described. It works for me.

limeaide's avatar

@mattbrowne Great technique I can’t wait to give that a try. Thanks!

deni's avatar

i do not like conversing with people who are always talking and wont let me get a word in. generally these are the people who have to compete with everything you say by immediately telling a story of their own that they think is better, and i HATE that.

trailsillustrated's avatar

I live with one so I say loudly ‘stop, listen!’ that works.

SarasWhimsy's avatar

I found that most people still want verbal cues that your listening (like mmmhhmm and go on) so I just stop giving those. When they look at me like I’m not paying attention I just say “Oh is it my turn to talk now?” I tried this with a really good friend first (not someone I barely know and wouldn’t know their reaction) and she laughed at first but it really made her think. Talking to her now is a lot more fun!

SABOTEUR's avatar

I don’t have time for such people.

I get quite annoyed when people ignore me or cut me off before I’m finished speaking.

Fortunately, I don’t socialize so I rarely encounter such inconsiderate *behavior.

*Except for my family.

HTDC's avatar

Simple. Grab one of these and tell them to shut the hell up and listen.

Irishmar's avatar

I usually interrupt them and tell them I was speaking, and if they don’t “get it” I just listen to them go on and on….but NEVER engage in conversation with them if at all possible. They are very rude and insecure.

monocle's avatar

Oh, those people. The ones who just finished speaking but in their head they’re already thinking of something else to say, so they aren’t paying attention to anything else. My initial reaction is to say the craziest thing in my head and see if they notice, or stop talking to them.

Siren's avatar

I try not to engage with them on the phone or in person as much. One-sided conversations get boring indeed unless I’m watching an actor in a play or movie

philosopher's avatar

Hi Matt:
I have tried your technique and it does work on some people. Your description is wonderful. It gets me thinking about why I do not do it more often. Good information. Lurve for you.

mattbrowne's avatar

@philosopher – You’re very welcome !

Cotton101's avatar

Read many of the responses and many said, “I stay away from them, etc” But, most of mine are relatives..loll.

Thank you the answers!

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