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Sarcasm's avatar

You happen to have purchased a house from the future. It accepts all kinds of voice commands. What are some of your commands?

Asked by Sarcasm (16778points) January 6th, 2010

It’s obvious that this house comes with commands like “Turn lights on/off” and “Lock doors”.

But what are some commands that you’d teach your house that’re a bit more unique or personal?
Make margaritas?
Speak to me in Klingon?
Lock the kids out until 6pm?
Wake me up with rooster noises in the morning?

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24 Answers

J0E's avatar

“Make Bacon”

Berserker's avatar

Fix me a snack, jerkass! And get me some beer!

Don’t piss me off.

faye's avatar

I would go the obvious route with clean yourself. Oh, I just thought, redecorate yourself, having just painted a bunch this would be nice—my choice of deco, of course.

Tink's avatar

I’d say, “de-germ the place and spray some Febreeze or Lysol every half hour!”

Dr_C's avatar

Maintain a constant flow of fresh air. water the plants, feed the dogs and clean up after them. Dim the lights and play Zero 7 when the missus and I are alone… Make breakfast and coffee promptly at 7. Record and play back all NFL related media.

Nullo's avatar

Chores, mostly. And maybe have it add in a Bat-cave.

Haleth's avatar

I would loooove to have a voice-activated future house for when I’m getting ready in the morning. I’d want a house that could basically get me ready all by itself with me still half-asleep. I’d ask it to do stuff like make me coffee, pick out an outfit, find my shoes, and shove me out the door. I want my house to put my clothes and my stuff away when I leave everything in a messy pile at the end of the day, and to pour me a glass of wine and play a DVD of something awesome like Arrested Development. Sometimes the house will talk back to me, always with a very sexy voice.

FlipFlap's avatar

“Privacy in this area of the house.”

“Starting now, external cameras record, all directions, focusing in on movement.”

“Close the gated driveway doors.”

“Clean and replace the litter in the the cat’s litter box as necessary every day from now on without me ever having to mention it again.”

“Standing order: Turn on minimal lighting in every room as I enter it from now on without being told.”

“Standing order: Turn off all lighting in every room as I depart from now on without being told.”

“Standing order: Electrify doorknobs, doorbells, and handrails at the front entryway enough to cause pain in anyone trespassing.”

“Standing order: Make coffee, full pot, alternating house brands every day, 1 International Delight creamer, 2 artificial sweeteners.”

“Standing order: Vocalize receipt of e-mails to me wherever I am in the house, telling me who they are from, but do not say anything resembling an AOL message.”

“Standing order: Wash any cookware, silverware or dishes that I leave in the kitchen sink.”

“Standing order: Heuristically learn what help I expect from you every day and provide it without being asked.”

“Standing order: Wash and dry and hang up and fold the dirty clothes and dirty linen according to the directions I have provided.”

“Standing order: Keep all blinds and curtains closed at all times, unless I open them. Close them when I leave the room.”

“Standing order: Notify the police of any trespassers on the property. Begin a video record when external motion sensors detect them and you have verified that they are not guests. If verification is not possible, they are not guests.”

“Standing order: Keep a running inventory of all foods and food supplements in the house, adding new items to the list when new purchases are made. For the food supplements, separate out a daily allotment each morning at 7:00am. Place them in a small container near the coffee pot.”

“Standing order: Run the vacuum cleaning program three times per week.”

“Standing order: Run the sweeping & mopping program once per week.”

“Standing order: Disinfect all bathroom facilities per the given instructions two times per week.”

Colen's avatar

In the morning at the hour you want, open the windows and make coffee, decide what to wear each day, make a fast breakfast, open all the doors when you want..
That’d be the greatest thing ever…

pjanaway's avatar

PORN
FOOD
DRINK

reactor5's avatar

Regular home automation stuf aside, I think my most frequent commands would be things to play music. Something like…

“Tune last.fm to Radiohead”
“Turn volume [up|down]”
“Play songs by Ben Folds”

I think this would actuallly be possible now. All I’d have to get would be a mac mini or something and put hidden mics all over the house. Speakers connected to airport express routers would provide the music and feedback, and then all I’d need would be a program to do voice recognition and run applescripts. Right now I usually have my computer hooked up to my speakers and use my iPod to control the music over wifi, so we’re halfway there!

tb1570's avatar

Shuffle virtual wife program every night.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Darjeeling Tea, First flush, hot!

reactor5's avatar

Just a random thought, you’d have to make it have an LCARS interface too. cause I’m a geek like that.

bunnygrl's avatar

Keep my fur babies company, adjust the temperature for them so they’re never too hot or too cold, and talk to them, unless they’re napping, so they don’t get lonely when hubby and I are at work. Haven’t invented this yet so for now I make sure the central heating is on, and the tv is switched on for them so they have voices while their Mum’s not there to hug them. If the house was really smart it could open the back door for them when they want out to their garden, and make sure they come safely back inside again, are dried off with a fluffy towel if its wet outside, and the doors are safely locked again.
huggles xx

gemiwing's avatar

Catbox
dear God, catbox.

reactor5's avatar

@flipflap just read your comment again. Electrify door handles? Hilarious. It might be more effective to use the current to super heat them when you’re away. But when you come back in the winter it sure would be nice tohave slightly heated doorknobs.

HGl3ee's avatar

“Wipe my butt.”

Ashalah's avatar

@ElleBee I was just about to write that lol!!!

HGl3ee's avatar

@Ashalah : Hahaha! Great Minds ;) Much lurve to you!

Scope's avatar

Wipe my buttocks.

drdoombot's avatar

“Initiate self-clean.”

I can handle the rest myself.

oreo45's avatar

Remove solicitor from doorstep!

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