Do you have any amusing expressions / reactions you use (not curses)

Me and my mate John tend to open our eyes very wide and say “wow!” in a gobsmacked way.

It usually follows a stupid remark from someone else.

Me and my mate Gaz say “red chicken” but I can’t tell you why.

“Oh my Lanta!”

Hmm, when someone catches me off guard in thought, basically makes my trolly jump the tracks, I at times give them something of a confused one eyebrow up, head-tilted, slack jawed sort of frown and issue them a “guwaaaa?” (the sound is kind of hard to translate – but it’s a very confused noise, curious, are you speaking another language kind of noise)

I’ve also been known to glare and hiss at people like an angry cat (or a vampire who just stepped in the sun as someone once put it)...

“flarking shnit” has been known to fly from my mouth on occasion as well.

@Pcrecords I might take up the red chicken thing. :D

@jf9434 that would be cool.

I have to say though I understand your dislike of swear words but I use them all the time when I’m off the clock.

I quite often work with or around children and obviously any swearing is a big no no.

I think it’s sometimes a great release to be allowed to blow your stack with some choice language.

I also know some good jokes that without a swear word in the punchline simply aren’t as funny.

Having said that I know even more where swearing RUINS them.

Oh and the filthiest person I know is a childrens entertainer…

Feck!

@mike hunt that’s a genius word and your username is comedy gold.

My brother makes up random “swears” when they’re needed. The best ones come out while playing MarioKart. They’re usually in the form of, for example, “flap…master!!”

As for me, I’m starting to pick up “Ay zazoosh!” (sp?) from my Portuguese roommate.

I started to use “Pants!” as my catch-all curse when my sister’s kids were around. I discovered I liked it better than ‘real’ swear words, and now I use it even when I don’t have to watch my mouth because of little ears.

‘I’m rick james, bitch!’ oops has a swear word but still batmanesque

What the farken?

@sliceswiththings Love “flap master”

I use food items as replacements like son of a biscuit, brownie, sugar, or fudge. These are normally blurted out when something heavy falls on my foot or I slam my finger in the door. I try to refrain from using cuss words, but sometimes a subsitute is the best I can do.
I usually don’t cuss in my usual conversation unless it is to prove or make emphasis on a point. If I used it all the time then it wouldn’t have the dramatic impact.

I like in Fantastic Mr Fox where they said cuss whenever they wanted to swear. My favorite was cluster-cuss :)

I have a hard time remembering peoples names, so I call everyone Homer.
As far as my expressions go (I am repressing the urge to say “Oh, Hamburgers!”), most of them are very offensive, or very vulgar.

I say “Fudge!” and I’ve used “Smeg”.

Sometimes I say “ah, donkey butter!”. It’s from The Simpsons version of “Tom Sawyer”.

However, I disagree that swearing makes you sound “ignorant”. Ignorant of what? Boring I could see, but not “ignorant”. Swearing is just a way people express anger. There are many different ways to do it.

Mother Stupid was a favorite of an exboyfriend of mine.

Generally, I actually swear if I am in the mood.

@filmfann A guy who used to work for me called everyone “thing.” I would say, “what thing?” And he would say, “you know thing.” And then I would realize he was talking about a person. It took a few times until I caught on finally.

Why the dollar-sign*exclamation-point*pound-symbol*parenthesis do you want to know?

What the frick?!?

Holy cow, jemeny christmas, gosh darn, fiddlesticks, jeeeeeez.

Most of the time I say sum bitch or holy shit

@rooeytoo

The second one reminded me of one I got from Marge Simpson: “Holy Christmas!” lol

Also, my brother used to say “Fuddrucker!” sometimes. :)

I forgot “noodle neck” that was always one of my brother’s favorite insults.

“Jesus tap dancing Christ” and “Jesus Christ on a pogo stick” make me laugh, but I never use them myself.

@MacBean – I never heard the tap dancing one, I love it!

are you all better now? you are a fast healer!

This might not be to your liking as it may sound too close to the “f-bomb” but my husband loves to say “frack” – a term he got off battlestar gallactica (a tv show). He also conjugates it into fracking etc.

@rooeytoo: Not all better, no, but I’m in good spirits!

And that reminds me, one of the night nurses that I had while I was in the hospital said “Holy moley” which also made me laugh. I hadn’t heard anyone say that in ages. And even when I did hear it, it was always people who were significantly older than me, but she couldn’t have been older than 23 or so.

@MacBean – that’s half the battle and good news too.

Holy moley is a funny one and you truly don’t hear it very often. I think I will start saying it again though, I like it.

Cupid stunt, Betty swollocks, fig roll,Wot the deuce,bumble burgers,sheesh kebab.

My kids used to say “sonuva”, which I suppose they learned from my husband catching himself before he finished. They also called each other “idiot jerk” which I still use.

@DominicX Most people that I hear swear do not even use it for emphasis. They use swear words multiple times in every sentence, every day of their lives. It just makes them seem like they can’t think of any other words. I suppose that would be ‘ignorant of the English language’. Thanks for the question.

I’ll often find myself saying “Bloody hell!”, which I think I picked up from Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Other TV-generated oaths I’ll use are “frak” from Battlestar Galactica and “frell” from Farscape.

Pppppbbbbttt is my favorite. Nothing like a good old fashioned raspberry to get the party started. ;o)