What is your worst childhood memory?

Well, having your mother hit you with closed fists repeatedly on your back for almost an hour until you could barely breathe ranks high.

What kind of a fucking question is this? What are you writing a book? Why the hell do you want people to tell you about their deepest wounds? Your own amusement? Tell me why, and maybe I won’t think of you so harshly.

@asmonet very sad… but it is a valid question. May be too hard for others to respond to… but I think it warrants further discussion.

Sexual abuse.

@Holden_Caulfield: There’s no potential discussion. Tell me about your pain is generalized and has no discussion that could come from it except to say childhoods can be bad, mmkay. As it is, the OP shares nothing. Only asks for others to relay their pain. I don’t trust their motives.

@asmonet fair enough! but perhaps he is looking for insight into his own Demons per se… Those that are uncomfortable can choose to not respond. I dont know the answer. I always assume that motives are innocent… until proven oitherwise,

@asmonet I’m not trying to dig into your past for my own amusement. It’s just a question. That doesn’t mean you have to think of me “harshly.”

Well it long since stopped keeping me up at night but, when I was 12 my mother promised me I would be getting a bike for christmas. My elder brother got one the previous year. Alas no bike came. Pretty upsetting at the time but it was to get worse. The following christmas my brother, & this is the best part, got another damn bike. Talk about rubbing it in. She never has explaned why this happened. Come to think of it… where’s my phone~

@Holden_Caulfield: Sometimes assumptions can be made quite accurately. But, as you said fair enough. I just have a distaste for people who seem to just want to pick at others.

@hungertoragejr: I’ll think of you how I like based on what I see of you. So far, it’s negative. Not really something you can change until you answer my question. So either answer why you feel the need to ask, or don’t but you shouldn’t be surprised if your refusal to do so means I think less of you.

I was about 7 years old and my brother was less than 1 year old. My mother found out my father was having an affair and she ran into our bedroom and grabbed my brother and said, “We have to get out of here” and ran out leaving me behind. I sat in the bed playing with my dolls. However she come back. Who knows what happened but she did come back. I am sure I suffered in a way but when I had children, I realized how important it was to always be there for them.

@asmonet Think whatever you want of me. I don’t care at all.

@hungertoragejr: Okie dokie. :)

@asmonet Again, I understand where you are coming from… I do not think that he is trying to evoke bad memories… but merely trying to understand his own childhood traumas. Perhaps he is just asking a random question to be resolved… I don’t know. but no need to take it personally. It is a valid questions, noless.

@Holden_Caulfield: I’m not taking it personally, trust me. I just don’t like these questions in general. If you just want to know, that’s fine. But say it up front. If you want to explore your own memories, cool. Say it up front. If you want to be a voyeur to pain, more than likely you won’t be admitting it. And that’s cool too, but you’ll be giving an impression of being an ass. The fact that they won’t just say why they’re curious, makes me think the latter. And they don’t care, so I’ll just keep on thinking it.

@asmonet I understand i is a sensitive topic. But it IS a good and valid question, regardless. Again, I maintain that those uncomfortable with it need not answer. I completely relate to your feelings and I validate them. Most of us have been abused in some way as a child; hence why we have the issues that we do… but to me, we should allow others to express themselves i whatever way they must, regardless of whether or not we agree with how they actually do so. I know these questions of generality are not alwyas easy, but to the person asking they may also have a positive purpose… not necessarily a negative one. Just my two cents for what it is worth…

@asmonet I noticed you answered the question. You seem to be argumentative now. We are not your mother who is hitting you. We are grown adults and I am sending a few hugs to you. That must have been horrible to endure. Sorry a child has to put up with that.

Being slammed into a dining room chair with arms so many times and with such force that the spindle back broke off. This was done by my step-dad (I know consider him my father) because I wanted to talk on the phone instead of play Monopoly with my parents when I was about 12.

To this day, I am not sure why it was such a big deal. It turned into a big deal because I kept standing up to him (literally) instead of keeping my ass in the seat.

@asmonet I understand it is painful for you. What I don’t understand is why you answered the question if you find it so offensive.

@Flo_Nightengale: “We are not your mother who is hitting you.” Now, see that? That pissed me off. I appreciate the hugs, and the well wishes, but that sentence… does not sit well.

I do not give a shit about the subject guys. Merely the way it was approached. I am not personally offended. Nor am I traumatized by my past in any fashion at this point in my life. And I get along well enough with my mother. My objections to the OP have nothing to do with my own past and everything to do with the premise of the question. I find the apparent motives behind it distasteful. Not the subject. Had the OP clarified his reasoning for me, I would have happily discussed the issues surrounding our stories, but he won’t. So that leaves me with thinking he’s just fascinated with others’ stories of abuse. Not really okay with that, sorry.

Can we all collectively get on the same page now?

@asmonet Absolutely, we can get on the same page… but there has to be no assumption of motive behind the question, He is simply proposing a topic of discussion for whatever reason,,, In my humble opinion. And I respect that!

@Holden_Caulfield: See our differing views on this are going to cause us to speak in circles, like we have been. I believe if he asks for personal information, it’s in good form to at least be up front about why. It’s all take, no give. I’m not okay with that. It isn’t that he’s given no reasoning it’s that he’s declined to give ANY when directly asked. In my opinion, that’s not something to be respected. So, fine respect him all you want. I respectfully disagree based on what I’ve seen.

Well I phoned her & she laughed it off. Recycled old story anyway~

@asmonet Again,. fair enough. You speak for yourself, but there are other Fluthers that MAY feel differently… and thus, should be given the opportunity to decide (as you did) whether or not to respond…

Lying on the couch crying, and my mom coming home from the hospital, touching me on the shoulder and saying, “daddy’s dead honey.”

@Holden_Caulfield: I have not flagged the question, I do not plan to. I merely wished to understand the reasoning. I am not stopping anyone from answering nor are my comments.

I’d find it difficult to think of a “worst” memory, what constitutes the end of childhood? MY mum and Dad spiltting up when I was 9 was pretty trraumatic, but then so was continually moving address when I was young, I attended 3 different primary schools, and hated everyone of them.

@asmonet I asked this question because i have separation anxiety and abandonment issues from my parent’s divorce when I was an impressionable child.

Thanks. I don’t think your an ass just looking for some free entertainment now.

Well gosh. We could say it was mom punching holes in the woodpanel walls and asking if I’d rather she punch me instead. It could be her killing my fish and threatening to kill the cat by throwing it out the window to fend for itself if I continued to be “bad.” Could be being kidnapped my other family members, put in juvenile detention with actual criminal teenagers when I was 4, or put in a foster home because people thought Mom was unfit for being a lesbian. Could be getting beat up at school because I didn’t wear Jordache jeans and Reeboks because I was on welfare and because of the lesbian mom thing again. Could be the nights that all we had for dinner was potatoes or ramen noodles. Could be the hick neighbors plotting outside the window to “kill that lesbian bitch” and being afraid that they’d attack Mom and me. I don’t know, there are so many to choose from.

First of all, let me preface by saying that I was never abused or anything like that, so my story is going to be a lot less “harsh”.

Probably the worst memory from childhood I have was in 4th grade when this guy just hated me for no good reason. He thought I was girly, wimpy, weak, and couldn’t stand me. He made fun of me for hanging out with girls (one time he shoved me in front of the classroom door and the teacher saw and he got in trouble. He also threatened to beat me up once. He was definitely joking, but I took it seriously), he sabotaged one of my projects that I made and I cried to the teacher about it. Finally, his mom and my mom had to talk to each other. After that, he left me alone, but that’s as close to being bullied that I ever got and I did not like it. What was interesting was knowing more about him: he was from the worst part of town, his family was dirt poor, he was being raised by a single mother, and he was black. (It only lasted for a month or so in the beginning of the year, by the way. He was moved out of my class after that).

What’s interesting is that I saw him when I visited Vegas with my friend and he looked at me and nodded at me. He remembered me. Apparently he’s changed a lot since then, according to my friend.

Also, when I was really little, my mom once told me that the clothing I was wearing was “too cheery” (to me that meant “too gay” looking back on it). She still apologizes for saying that to this day and has absolutely no idea why she said it and doesn’t even seem to remember it. But I never forgot it. I’ve completely forgiven her, don’t worry. My mom has been absolutely amazing in accepting my sexuality. :)

That’s as bad as it gets for me, so sorry if it sounds like I had a “cushy” childhood. I pretty much did, not gonna lie.

My mother putting me in a cardboard box and leaving me at a Bus station.
then…,all of the people standing around looking at me in the box, didn’t know any of them…..,Pretty freaking scary, and i was screaming my head off.

I was locked in a boot when I was 4 accidentally but I really really thought I was going to die

@babaji ; seriously? How old were you?

There are many memories to give. I was sexually abused by my step father as a child. After my mom left my step dad, he one night dropped me off and while my mother was out getting drunk he took my little sister. I have not lived with my little sister since I started the 7th grade, I am now a freshman in college. I had to watch my mother loose everything to alcohol, including her home, her children, and for a while her family.

Presently my sister is still with her father (my step dad), even though he is awaiting trial for sexual abuse against my little cousins. My mother has been sober for 3 years and has been re-certified in the doctor’s assistance field, yet my sister still hates her and calls her by her first name. My sister has lived with her father alone since he took her and has been subjected to parental alienation syndrome. As for me I have learned to cope with the sexual abuse that I suffered, and continue to live my life.

just a baby & only reason why i can remember it is because i went through a past life regression session once and i went as far back as the box, and couldn’t get past it, but i saw it all pretty clearly.

@babaji so regression does work!

Yes precisely.
what i discovered was that your guide is very,very important.
a world of trust involved here.
...,apparently my guide got sidetracked and failed to remember that i was in the situation.
the guide keeps you above and aware of the situation but not involved in it…,
any way i woke from the session and i was still in the box screaming my fool head off
thinking i was there at that time as a baby….
it took me awhile to realize that that i wasn’t there anymore lol
cheers

Weird, you guys totally just made me remember stuff I’d repressed. My dad picked me up and slammed me headfirst into a wooden column once. Can’t remember why. This guy is a pediatric neurologist, mind you. Ha! And by that I mean, Jesus Christ. I think I have to go hug my dog for awhile.

All of them.

i got better

Not good actually. Infact I don’t have good memories. My dad used to beat my mum, force feed me and it has traumatised my whole life.

You know, I completely forgot to mention my most traumatic experience (though I have mentioned it before on this site). It was that time I went to the hospital/E.R. when I was 5. I just remember being in a lot of pain and being scared that I was going to die and not understanding what was going on or why what was being done to me was being done. I had forgotten about it (repressed it, whatever you want to say) for years until I had a checkup when I was 11 and the nurse asked if I had ever been to the hospital for a reason other than a checkup. My mom said “no” at first because even she had forgotten about it and then she was like “there was that one time…” and that’s when it started freaking me out. Looking back on it at 18, it doesn’t seem as bad as looking back on it at 11. Interesting. Still, I think it caused my slight fear of hospitals that I have now.

Unfortunately, like @jmah and @Trance24, my worst memory is the sexual abuse I was subject to from the age of 3 years old until 11 years old. It will never leave me and I will allways be angry about it but, thankfully, I have plenty of happy memories too.