Social Question

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Ever been personally attacked on Fluther, if so how?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26829points) January 19th, 2010

Do you find yourself being attacked for you opinion or observe it happening to others? Rather than just answering the question with a rational logical mind it seems people want to take it personally as if the reason the question was asked was not out of curiosity but to make a put down. For instance if a person ask what is so wrong with say bull or dog fighting when lobsters are killed in what could be seen as more gruesome why would people assume the asker condones dog fighting? Or if a person asks what is so bad about bull, dog, or cock fighting they are attacked as enjoying the cruelty of animals. How hard is it just to comment or answer on the merits of the question without attaching a position to the asker or commenter? If people relish in personal attacks AB and YA are still there for you.

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93 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Ha, if I kept track…don’t remember, been there done that, have moved on. Generally speaking once people learn of my views on certain things, they will expect and then insult certain answers I provide. I am over the drama I had to deal with at wis.dm and don’t get ‘into it’ with people here.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I have had a few people have an “opinion” on my opinion.I don’t give a damn if they like it or not :)

Likeradar's avatar

Sure. It reflects waaay more on the attacker than the attackee. What kind of adult can’t express an opinion without resorting to name calling?

I totally understand people chiming in with an opinion, no matter of the OP asked for one. But the people who can’t give an opinion without sounding like a 3 year old in a need of a nap are laughable.

gemiwing's avatar

I’ve been called an idiot, uninformed and unqualified to answer. Problem is I’m not really concerned with what random people on the internet judge me as. It hurts emotionally, but I generally shake it off pretty quick.

Shield_of_Achilles's avatar

Earlier when I was in high school yes…

CMaz's avatar

“Do you find yourself being attacked for you opinion”

No. I never take anything anyone says personal. Even if it was meant to be.

jeanna_'s avatar

Well sure, it’s bound to happen when you consider yourself brutally honest. It might momentarily piss me off, but I’m never going to change who I am because of what someone says/does.

scotsbloke's avatar

Sometimes I wonder at some of the responses here on fluther, thinking “Gosh that sounded personal – like an attack of sorts”, but it’s not my place to be up in arms about it.
If I am personally “poked” It’s fine, it means I have either said something daft, in which case I capitulate (maybe), or the other person didnt grasp what I was saying, in which case I explain further, or they just plain disagree and cant think of a better way to say so than belittling me, in that case I ignore ‘em. It’s also possible people dont get a joke or can’t see the funny side of stuff too. – maybe?
So Far, I’ve been ok and I will stand up for myself if need be but in private. Who wants to read all that bumff?

DominicX's avatar

The majority of the time, I get attacked for my age. Usually it’s along the lines of “well, you’re just young and stupid, so your opinion doesn’t matter and soon you’ll grow up and learn to agree with me.” Bleh.

Oh well, their loss. But I agree with @gemiwing. It does hurt me, but I can shake it off relatively quickly.

Unfortunately, there have been times where I let it hit me harder. That was, after all, the reason why I deleted my first account.

fireinthepriory's avatar

I can’t remember ever having been what I would consider attacked. And I have “radical” views about some things, compared to most Americans, anyway. I don’t ask many questions though, and your definition seems to be based around asking questions.

People here infer into the questions that are asked. It’s hard not to. For example, I infer from this question that you feel like you have been personally attacked for your questions. If this is the case, maybe you should revisit the way you phrase your questions to make them more neutral. For example “I don’t condone dog fighting, but it seems to me that the way lobsters are killed is just as inhumane…” etc. It’s easy to put an accidental slant on a question.

Flo_Nightengale's avatar

I have, it was a while ago. I got a PM that said.
“You are stupid.” Hahaha…..I took into consideration the source and did not waste my time bothering to reply. I have also see that person attack others as well.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Likeradar I agree greatly, I once heard that whoever starts yelling and insulting 1st, loses the debate. If they really had a point to make and the goods to make it they would no to sink into insults. Barnacles and plankton to you!

Rarebear's avatar

Yes, but I’d rather not discuss the experience. It’s why I cancelled my first Fluther account and stayed off for several months.

janbb's avatar

I haven’t because I am always tactful, humble and right, but some of my more persnickety, opinionated friends here have.

kevbo's avatar

It’s nothing new. Frankly, I’m appreciative of the opportunity to grow a thicker skin and learn to get out of my own way to better evaluate or consider ideas that are presented.

Siren's avatar

Yes, but it’s because I’m highly opinionated, or I wouldn’t bother responding to questions. It’s why I come to this site, to weigh in on issues. I also agree that it’s a little strange for people to argue with you just because you voiced your opinion, as if you were supposed to shut up and not comment…isn’t that kind of an oxy-moron here? Fluther is an opinion/QA site.

Or, pretty much what @jeanna_ said above. :)

RareDenver's avatar

I’ve had a few shitty comments left on my page, I personally found it quite flattering to think I had that much of an impression on someone they felt the need to visit my page especially to tell me what a wanker I was and how sick I made them feel.

GO ME !!!

jbfletcherfan's avatar

I don’t know if I’d call it a personal attack or not, but I had two be really nasty to me. One told me I was “not smart”. It’s funny, both have been banned.

Aethelwine's avatar

I was told in a thread and via several pm’s that I was ignorant concerning the discipline of my children from a 19 year old that doesn’t have children. This person also called me an abuser and said that my parents abused me because I admitted to spanking my children just a few times when they were younger, and admitting that my parents spanked me a few times as a child.

It was hurtful to me because my children (two are 15 and 17) are smart, loved and well behaved, and I suffered no ill effects from the few spankings that I received. My parents are the most caring parents I know.

@jbfletcherfan This certain person was banned too. ;)

MissAusten's avatar

@jonsblond Haven’t you learned from Fluther that people without kids know the most about kids?~

I was going to say what @janbb said. :P

CaptainHarley's avatar

Not yet, but there’s hope! : D

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@jonsblond Oh yes, I remember that well. We talked about it, remember?

Val123's avatar

@Rarebear and I had the same experience when we first came here from wis.dm. It was pretty awful. I mean I couldn’t say anything no matter how neutral without being attacked. I was actually attacked when I was giving some compliments to fluther! I too canceled my original account. It was several months before I came back, supposedly for just a sec…and got stuck!! (Hi ya Rarebear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

HTDC's avatar

”...rather than just answering the question with a rational logical mind it seems people want to take it personally…”

But how boring would it be if everyone just gave a stock standard predictable logical answer. Where’s the fun in that? I don’t see anything wrong with bringing a bit or emotion or personality into an answer. We’re not robots after all.

casheroo's avatar

I’ve felt attacked when I probably shouldn’t have taken it personally…
Also, I know of some people who do not like my opinions on certain things, and act as if my opinion is an immature attack on them..when it really has nothing to do with them whatsoever.

Aethelwine's avatar

@jbfletcherfan How could I forget. Thanks for listening to me bitch. :)

wilma's avatar

I have been attacked here too. I have been called names and told how awful I am.
I try to consider the source.
I also try to be nice and not cross examine or be rude if I ask a question or ask for clarification.
I try to treat others the way I would like to be treated.
I think most people are pretty nice.
It’s just like out in the real world, some people are just jerks.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@jonsblond Any time, Missy. Any time. :-)

daemonelson's avatar

I may enquire about the asker’s opinion with regard to the subject if the question appears to be asked in a particular manner. For example, ‘Why the hell can’t I have dog fights in my yard?’ rouses more suspicion than ‘Why is dog fighting illegal?’.

I tend to assume the asker is just curious.

dani6119's avatar

I haven’t on this site. I have on others. I am on one site right now where there are a few people that seem to like to argue with everything. I’ve learned to just ignore them. Their problem, not mine.
I don’t think I’ve been active enough on Fluther to attract any negative attention and I try to stay away from controversial topics because I don’t need the hassle. This is supposed to be enjoyable for me and having people attack me and say mean things is not enjoyable.

ragingloli's avatar

Well, certain people (you know who you are) tried to imply that I am some kind of Nazi and Antisemite on several occasions, more or less subtle.

Allie's avatar

Mmm, no, I don’t think I’ve ever been attacked. If I have I missed it completely (which I’m sure my “attacker” would love). I’ve gotten into debates over things, but they’ve all remained civil and respectful. After a debate like that I always make sure to send a PM to the other person thanking them for keeping the debate a friendly one.

YARNLADY's avatar

It’s really a matter of perception. There is one user who continually says things like “you are full of (expletive deleted)”, with no explanation, instead of “I disagree with your answer and here is why”.

On the other side, when I said I thought one user’s answer sounded like nonsense because of this and that, she took it personally and thought I attacked her, rather than disagree with her answer.

Rarebear's avatar

@RareDenver Actually, that’s what happened to me too. They went to my page and slammed me in my comments. I should have taken it like you did, as I know better.

@Val123 Hi there Val!

Val123's avatar

@Rarebear Really childish behavior!

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille @gemiwing @RareDenver General think you should say what you mean and mean what you say, less be wishy washy or hypocritical. I don’t care so much what people think about what I say or if they like it but I feel as I suspect you all do as well that you should get the respect you give. @scotsbloke I don’t mind someone prodding me deeper as to what I said or what it meant. I do however, believe if I (personally) are called ignorant, stupid, etc because I think or commented on something in a way or manner they do not agree. @daemonelson @fireinthepriory I know a comment or question said can be taken 2 ways; if anyone said “isn’t it ridiculous to have a minimum age to join a neo-Nazi group?” some might take it that the person thinks anyone should be allowed to join at any age and there should be no official min. age limit, while others would see it as why would there even be a requirement for kids to join because the groups are so hateful and silly. However you agree or disagree, you should be able to make your point off the merit of the question and not off the belief of you are the asker etc. @HTDC @Siren People weighing in with comments and perspectives you never would have thought of is what makes Q&A forums great at least I think so but it should be done in a civil way and people should know not everyone will agree with them. I will give anyone more than enough rope to climb out of the hole or hang themselves with but I let their argument speak for their relevance.

tyrantxseries's avatar

lol, I get attacked on a somewhat regular basis… some people are really pathetic but it’s good for a laugh and to see how angry I can make them after lol

Val123's avatar

@tyrantxseries Bet ya can’t make me mad!!

Arisztid's avatar

Not yet but I am sure I shall be if I participate more. It is the nature of every website, has happened at others, and is part and parcel of being somewhere with people vastly different opinions and personalities.

Cruiser's avatar

Not often enough! What is it with this place?? ;)

CaptainHarley's avatar

@Cruiser

They be fallin’ down on the job, yes? : D

Cruiser's avatar

@CaptainHarley What do I gotta do Cap??

Val123's avatar

@Cruiser @CaptainHarley What I wouldn’t give for the ability to post pics right in the thread right now!! http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc207/Dutchcat1/Avenger.jpg

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@tyrantxseries You got that right. I have a few distractors that try to jiggle my jibblets every chance they get and I serve them a good does of sarcasm; the dish best served very dry…. ;-)

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

Yes I’ve felt like I’ve been attacked before but when I speak up about it, I’m accused of being sensitive and paranoid. Some people just rub me the wrong way. Shit happens.

Silhouette's avatar

I went off topic, when asked to stop, which I had 2 hours prior to the request, I got into a scuffle with a couple of people. They called me names, I made childish pppppbbbbbtttt’s at them. We all lost our shit in the private messages, turned into a big deal which involved one unfortunate moderator. Not my finest moment but whadda ya going to do? You live you learn.

CaptainHarley's avatar

@Cruiser & @Val123

LMAO! Perhaps if we accused them of molesting small animals? : D

Val123's avatar

@ItalianPrincess1217 RUB!!!!
@Silhouette Huh? On PM?
@CaptainHarley Oh! So that means it’s OK to molest BIG animals??!!

CaptainHarley's avatar

@Val123

CaptainHarley <———————- Big animal! : D

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

@Val123 Did you just rub me?! It felt great. A little to the left…Yeah that’s the spot.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@CaptainHarley @Val123 Better watch out…..someone may miss your banter and actually think you want to abuse horses or something and want to report you to PETA.

Cruiser's avatar

@Val123
@CaptainHarley LMAO! Thanks for the early morning laugh!! LMAO!

CaptainHarley's avatar

How wonderful to be able to make others laugh so early in the day! : D

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@CaptainHarley You did me, too. Wednesday, here we come. :-)

Val123's avatar

@jbfletcherfan Look at me! Look at me! I’m YOU!!!

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@Val123 I see that. Are you my long-lost twin???

janbb's avatar

@jbfletcherfan @Val123 How many damned squirrels do we need around here? :-)

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@janbb LOLLL…I hereby claim the queen status of all squirrels!

janbb's avatar

@jbfletcherfan You are incontrovertibly the queen of squirrels, my dear majesty!

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@janbb Wow…those are big shoes to fill. I’ll do my best. ;-)

janbb's avatar

@jbfletcherfan I was just out for my walk and a squirrel was squawking at me. I leaned in closer and he said, “Give my allegiance to the queen and wish her a Mazel Tov™ on her 10k!” (He was wearing the cutest little yarmulke too.)

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@janbb LOLLLL…and you think I’M nuts!!! ;-)

Val123's avatar

@jbfletcherfan I’m not lost!!

Val123's avatar

@jbfletcherfan Uh, scuse me but I’m not the one who….uh…...

Squirrid of your dreams!

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@Val123 LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL…What have you done?????

Val123's avatar

@jbfletcherfan Hey! You’re the one with the thing about blindfolds and cupcakes!!! Just helpin’ a friend out! ;)

jbfletcherfan's avatar

Uh-huh…........:D

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@janbb Psst…....You can’t say anything even in the slightest negative about squirrels or sure as **** someone will equate you as being a shotgun toting rodent hating Republican or some tree hugging vegan liberal Demcrat acorn supporter hate to say it but not some on Fluther act like they have a few cards short of a full deck, and not use all the card they have ;-)

janbb's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Do I get my choice of what I am “equated as”?

dani6119's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central
I don’t mind being called a shotgun toting rodent hating Republican. :-)
@janbb – I made my choice. lol!

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@janbb You can always frame the answer before someone who missinterprets you tries to attach a lable for you :-D

@dani6119 That is OK with me :-) However, I see come animal lovers circling with flaming arrows so….......

dani6119's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central – Let ‘em circle. It’s just been one of those kinds of days anyway. lol!
I’ll just tell them I don’t like deer either. They’re huge pests and eat everything in my yard that grows. And run in the road and get themselves hit and ruin your car. And I squash bugs and kill flies, and anything creepy crawly that manages to get in my house.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@dani6119 OH NO!!!! Someone will think you are gonna kill Bambi!!! throwing flame-proof cloak on dani6119 I can see them stweing in their juices now…...just say you snap the necks of chickens and ducks or boil lobsters alive and SOME ONE will surely attack you for it. Why? I don’t know, maybe they had a duck for a pet while a child? By the way, if you say you shoot horses (when we all know they have to get thinned out sooner or later or they will all starve) they may circle faster. ;-)

MissAusten's avatar

Oh no, not a bug killer!!!! I can understand the attitude toward deer, needing to cull horses, eating chickens…but bugs?! Poor little things! Hold on while I light some of these arrows…

dani6119's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central – Phew! Thanks for that cloak. You might not want to stand too close to me though. :-)
Bambi better not eat my tulips and strawberries off again, then. lol!

@MissAusten – If you can keep them out of my house, I won’t kill them. Otherwise prepare to say bye bye to your little friends…. ;-)

MissAusten's avatar

@dani6119 I see that I forgot to add the ~ to denote sarcasm. If it has 8 legs, I get my husband to squash it. If it has 6 legs I ask my six year old if he has that specimen in his collection. If not, he’ll catch it, freeze it, and pin it. If he does, he’ll catch it and put it outside.

dani6119's avatar

@MissAusten I totally got your sarcasm and found it amusing! Your six year old has a collection. Nice!
My youngest, who is now 21, caught a jar of fire flies once and decided to let them loose in his room at night to see if they would fly around and light up.
I was less than thrilled.

Val123's avatar

@dani6119 Sniff. I tried that once…..well, I left them in the jar. They were all daid the next day. :( I don’t know if maybe fireflies only live 24 hours, or if putting them in the jar killed them. I didn’t do it again. We still catch them with the kids, but we let them go when we’re done.

MissAusten's avatar

@Val123 We’ve done the firefly thing, and they survived the night. I think my son put them in a mesh “butterfly house” container.

@dani6119 Yes, his collection is pretty impressive for a kid his age. That photo shows half the collection. He has another full box as well. Just this morning I took both collections to his classroom so he could talk about them for show and tell. He has great stories to go with many of the insects, and the other kids were fascinated. It’s a really great hobby!

philosopher's avatar

Yes but it is usually some insecure jerk. If it is not important to me. I will ignore the stupidity. I find that dumb people look for arguments. I only debate about things worthy of my time. I am too busy to deal with people that argue to argue. Since they have nothing better to do.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@philosopher Oh you are so right…...know a few but we will protect their ignorance by not mentioning names ;-)

philosopher's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central
At the moment I wish you would tell us all. There are times I miss AB because I would DR that type and many others would too.
Debate is healthy and find. Viscous attacks should be banned.
Some of the idiots remind me of insecure Children. LOL some of them are Adolescent fools that will never grow up.
They really do make me laugh out loud.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@philosopher Update I was maligned twice just yesterday! LOL LOL They just can handle superior logic and intelect, it shrinks them to insulting tantrum throwing children LOL LOL

philosopher's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central
Thanks for making me LOL. Lurve for you.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@philosopher Up date 02–11-10 attacked twice in one hour! Once by a monkey and the second by the collective or a thinnly veiled attack in the form of a collective question, seems like my personal maxim stirs such passioan and anquish in people who should just choose to ignore it. LOL LOL LOL Fluther, you gotta love it!

augustlan's avatar

[mod says] Dragging personal attacks out in public is bad form. If you’ve been attacked, flag it and let the mods deal with it.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@augustlan Always mindfully noted Yes it is, and for the most part I try to keep my rebuttle short and civil, but some people can’t just state a point about what they don’t like or disagree with but keep dragging it back to my doorstep week after week. I am trying NOT to be so anal as to nuke them with the hope they will smarten up and just go about their business, however, I guess if they don’t you mods might have to get the biffet ready for quite a feeding frenzy not that I am or would flag anyone for any flippant reason. :-)

JessicaRTBH's avatar

Yep big time yesterday. They’re a Neptune now. I feel happy inside. It was amusing.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@JessicaRTBH You sunk them or gave them a salt water bath?

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