Is it ever acceptable to get somebody else to to pass on a message that you are "sorry"? If so, when?
There is this woman who got somebody else to pass on her “apology” to me. This woman could have apologized to me herself, but she chose not to. Am I wrong to not take her apology seriously?
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It sounds like she doesn’t want to face you to apologize, that’s a second rate apology, IMHO. The only time I would think that method acceptable is if a mutual friend was acting as a go-between for too people no longer on speaking terms. +GQ
There are men and women in the world who do not even apologize, what happened to you is better than nothing!
The only time I think it would be better to pass through another is if the receiving party was not on speaking terms.
I think it is always better to issue the apology in person if at all possible.
spelling correction to my answer.: too=two
Nope, you’re not wrong. I wouldn’t take it seriously either.
I would say to the message carrier: “Thanks for doing that, but it does not ring true since she did not bother to tell me herself. The door is open for her to say it to me face to face.”
You are absolutely right.I wouldn’t take it seriously at all and would probably throw a pie in her face;)Apologies need to be made in person .
That kind of behavior would only exacerbate the situation and make me more upset with them. I would then be obligated to KTA!
@Cruiser Ah, I was thinking Kill the Asshole so I am glad I asked for clarification.
@Marina there are times when that would be appropriate under similar circumstances!! lol!
see the other question on here re ‘passive agressive’
Having a third party do your dirty or hard work is called “triangulation” and is wrong for any occasion.
Depends how you feel about the other person. You can accept it or not, that’s your prerogative.
But do you know for sure that the individual actually apologized, or was the go-between trying to make peace between you two? Just thought I would throw that out there.
It’s still an apology of sorts but it’s lost all meaning because it’s covered in chicken shit. The good news is at least one other person (the messenger) knows A. the guilty party is the guilty party and B. how cowardly the guilty party is.
If seeing the person who is apologizing would cause more pain, I think that’s acceptable. But then the apologizer could write a letter.
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