Social Question

dogcatman's avatar

Is it strange to be 20 and never to have kissed?

Asked by dogcatman (53points) January 22nd, 2010

I’m gay and I’ve never done anything sexual with another lad. I think it’s negativity effecting me. If I know a gay lad I like isn’t a virgin I don’t flirt with him as I feel I’ll disappoint myself as I’ve never done anything sexual in my life.

What can I do?

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16 Answers

CMaz's avatar

Do nothing and keep doing what you have been doing. It will come when it comes.

shadling21's avatar


A lot of people wait a long time to become sexually active. You’re not alone! It’s not something you need to hide from people. I was ashamed that I’d waited so long, but now that I’ve found someone who understands me completely, I’m no longer embarassed.

@ChazMaz is right. Things will work out in their own time.

Snarp's avatar

When I was 20 I was a virgin and had only been kissed once. Just relax and assume you’ll do ok. This stuff is mostly biology after all. Of course if you are with a decent fellow who cares about you it will be easier for you. Most importantly though, you must have a sense of humor about sex. It’s really no big deal.

HGl3ee's avatar

@ChazMaz is right, if you force something like this you will only cause yourself more heartache in the long run. Let it unfold naturally, and when that time finally comes you will be soooo happy you waited for that special moment. It will set your soul alight <3

life_after_2012's avatar

abosolutly not, you are experianceing something billions of peole probably have never done. and in my opinion i call that doing the right thing period.

shadling21's avatar

Like @Snarp I had been kissed only once before the age of 20. Actually, twice. No, three times.

Whatever. Things worked out. You’ll find that person. Just try to be open to them when the moment comes.

IBERnineD's avatar

I believe you should think of it this way, would you want a guy to not date you or flirt with you based on your inexperience? I would think not. So, don’t take their experience to be a reason not to pursue them. Some people have never tried a mushroom in their life, some people have. So, I think you are just as worthy as someone who has been kissed (or more), and you should agree. When you’re ready, you’ll be ready. And who ever will be on the receiving end of your first kiss, should be someone who doesn’t think you are weird for it.

stump's avatar

There are a couple of things in my life I regret having done, but there are a lot more things I regret I didn’t do. That includes the people I have kissed. It’s true that it will happen when it happens and that your age is not unusual. But I don’t get how avoiding experienced people will keep you from being disappointed. I have always appreciated experience in a partner.

Pandora's avatar

Everyone who has ever had a relationship had to take that first plunge. We all get that pit in our stomach with a first kiss. Even if your experienced, you don’t know if the person you are going to kiss will like the way you kiss or even if you will like the way they kiss. If we all let that stop us we would all be lonely. Its a part of life. You win some, you lose some. However if you never take the plunge you definetly lose. Unless you were going to be a monk for the rest of your life.

marinelife's avatar

Is there some reason that you are waiting? That you are avoiding guys with sexual experience?

You have nothing to fear. Most of it comes naturally.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I kissed my first girl when I was about 15, and there’s nothing like it. I didn’t take the plunge into a relationship for a few more years. I kick myself for not trying sooner beacuse I was a little hesitant to go further. I know I missed out on several possible relationships. On the other hand I don’t know if I was mature enough to handle a relatonship. So the best answer is do what is comfortable and stop if its not. (I majored in concise in college)

daemonelson's avatar

A tad odd. I’d say continue on with how you are now, but you think it’s negatively affecting you. Perhaps you should go out and try to meet people.

YARNLADY's avatar

Any coupling, no matter what the couples sexuality, depends on desire to coincide with opportunity. Until that occurs, just be patient.

Violet's avatar

(personal opinion) it is kind of strange. But it is not a bad thing.

LethalCupcake's avatar

I find it a bit odd that you’ve never been kissed… but I’m sure one day it will happen – and it will just feel right. You just can’t rush things!!!

dogcatman's avatar

I’ve kissed girls just never a guy.

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