Is it best to let a depressed person overlseep or should one pressure them to get up?

Let them sleep.

Sleep deprivation (as in less than 6–8 hours) is beneficial to depressives, but the best answer to your question is to have this person see a doctor to rule out a medical cause (such as hypothyroidism) and/or see a counselor. Trying to manage their behavior yourself isn’t likely to do much more than cause resentment.

That’s a tough one.. because if the depressed person were to get up early and actually accomplish something.. even something small… they would feel much better. Nothing like an early morning breakfast while everyone else is still in bed to get me motivated anyway.

I think going out and doing some productive is a good idea…..why not go for a jog/run or something? I do that if I feel down and depressed.

Sleeping all day doing nothing in my opinion will not help depression….BUT maybe sleep for that person is what they need to just relax and rest?

For me I have to do something “get it out” some way work,music something! but in a good productive way.

I guess you could just ask the person see how they are feeling?

I force myself to follow a set routine, even though my depression works against it. I’m trying to retain some contact with a “real” world. If I didn’t use an alarm clock and make myself follow checklists each day, I’d sleep most of the time also.

I’m not sure how wise it would be for another person to try and “force” this onto a depressed person. The depression is powerful and they may react in a way to push you away. The motivation must come from within. In my case it is a concious decision that I will not allow the depression to push me any lower than a certain point.

Get them up. I heard one time that sunlight helps energize your body and puts you in a better mood. Its also easier to be sad in the dark. Heres a web page that lays out all the benefits of sunlight.
http://www.personalpowertraining.net/Articles/the_health_benefits_of_sunlight.htm

That is really interesting information @kevbo! I just googled it and you’re right! I will most definitely pass this information on to the depressed! I actually thought it was the opposite, but next time I find myself really depressed, I’m going to try this ::nods:: But also, getting them to see someone is equally as hard though. If you can’t get them to wake up, how do you get them to see a doctor?! Ha.

I don’t know the answer medically, but personally I think it would make the situation worse if they just keep sleeping and letting life pass them by. Maybe think of things they used to like to do and suggest you guys do one of them or something like that. Good luck, I really hope this person gets better!

My wife is not depressed, at least i do not think so, but she sleeps at least 10 hours a night. she has sleep apnea and takes Lanesta before bedtime. i think the Lanesta is responsible for her sleeping so long.

Has this depressed person been to a doctor? if not, that should be the first order of the day. there is all types of medication out there that will help. i know if you love this person, that you miss them “being there” with you. this does not have to be like this. you make the call and you make the appointment. then, maybe, you BOTH will be happy and can enjoy each other company again and you will not be alone.

Rather than trying to medicate them with anti-depressants, let them do what their bodies want: Let them sleep.

Can you ask the depressed person what s/he wants you to do in this situation?

It depends on how long they sleep for, if they are sleeping through until 3pm everyday I would definitely pressure them.

I’m sure you’ve already seen a doctor for the depression, but maybe you should take another visit and ask about this specifically.

If he or she hasn’t seen a doctor, then that’s the first step. If he or she is resistant, make it as easy as possible. Make the appointment and get them up and take him or her to the appointment. Dress him or her if you have to. (No, not really). But you get the idea.

This person is probably in pain that is deeper than anyone can imagine if you aren’t in it right now. There is no hope, no purpose, nothing but to wait for death. You can’t stand any of your thoughts. You wish you couldn’t think. It seems like all you can do is stare at a wall. Nothing makes any sense.

It is possible to move a person in this state, just difficult. Let them know that they won’t feel like this forever. That what they have is not their fault. It’s something wrong with their brain, and it can be fixed. You’ll get them to a doctor or a psychiatrist, and this will get better. This person doesn’t have to feel horrible forever.

if the depressed person has been sleeping for a long time (12hrs) then wake him up.

sometimes a person just needs something to do, and laying there is probably worse for the inflicted one.

If the depressed can get at least between a straight 5–8 hrs of sleep then they shouldn’t be napping or sleeping again after that until regular sleep time because it’ll just throw off their body clock and depressed peops needs all the body regularity they can get. Wake them up, goad them to shower and dress and really push to make them get outside for about 15 minutes or more even if it means you drive somewhere together away from their home. Depressed people need out of their “nests”.

@Glow: you haven’t asked a question about a potato. you have asked a question about another human being (or maybe yourself in the third person). ask them or ask yourself and whatever answer you get, follow your gut and basic intuition.

I have often wrestled with this question, by the way, in reference to myself. thin line between between sleeping because you need it and sleeping to escape.

They should get up, but if you haven’t experienced debilitating depression, it’s difficult for you to conceptualize the fatigue and lethargy. I can only speak for myself, but if you did this to me when I was depressed, it would put a serious strain on our relationship.

Let them sleep. Let them dream.

Sleeping like that is a symptom. If you have nothing to get up for, or you do but you don’t care, and you’re not interested in anything or motivated to do anything, and you just know you’re going to fail anyway and your efforts will be worthless, and sleep is your only escape from oppressive reality, what good is it going to do just to be awakened?

I don’t think you can do anything about this from the sleeping side. The place to start is elsewhere, as others have said.

If alcohol or drugs are in the picture, forcing someone to wake up is even less likely to make much difference.

I think you should let them sleep, but make sure they make it to their psych/doctor appointments.

Your friend sounds as if s/he has an illness and should see a doctor. If you yourself have never experienced depression, then it is hard to explain the dead feeling, the absolute lethargy, that gets in the way of the simplest task. Should you wake the person? That depends. How strong is your relationship? Not everyone reacts well to being wakened. Does the person have something to do when he gets up? Is she likely to mope around the house in her sleepwear, hair in a mess, not doing anything, not even her share of the housework, whatever that is? I was like that for a while Your friend needs treatment.

Hypersomnia (sleeping too much) is both a symptom of depression as @Jeruba pointed out but it is a way to withdraw from human interaction and expectations others have of them.

Isolation and inactivity tend to intensify depression. People who are depressed need to be encouraged to at least get up and move around and interact with others. No great pressure should be applied, but pointing out the therapeutic benefits of activity helps those who are concerned for the depressed person help that person to do things that help themselves.

Take note that if the person has difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, then they may in fact need to sleep in more than usual. Inquire about other sleep problems they might be experiencing so you can make reasonable judgments.

Obviously this person needs to be referred to a skilled clinical psychologist or psychiatrist. The two types of professional often work in concert. The MD prescribes and monitors the medications and the psychologist may do the talk therapy so beneficial in treating depression.

Ask the depressed person’s therapist how you can help the patient at home.

intice them but don’t force them to wake up…

If you Google the literature on this you find that it doesn’t work on everybody, just like not everyone responds to the same antidepressant. At the very least you should get the consent of the person you are proposing to “sleep deprive” lest you irritate the bejeezus out of them by pressuring them “for their own good.”

This may explain why amphetamines are such an effective antidepressant, and why so many antidepressants (e.g., Wellbutrin) are just one or two molecules removed from meth.

My current working theory is that if they are sleeping, let them sleep. If they are lying in the bed, drowsy, napping, but not really in sleep, it would be better if you can get them to get up and at least do a little something.

While sleep deprivation therapy exists and is helpful to some, lack of sleep is also (paradoxically) a cause of depression, so I would strongly advice against trying to keep a depressive person sleep-deprived outside of a planned treatment course.

And yes, encourage the person to seek professional help.

Just let them sleep.

When I was hospitalized for depression, the staff insisted that I follow their schedule. I had to eat breakfast at some terrible early hour, but for getting up and about several hours earlier than usual, I could actively deal with the source of the depression, while not oversleeping eliminated one of the symptoms.

I’m still seasonally affected. During the winter when the days are short, I get to sleep at about 6 a.m., and get out of bed at about 5 p.m. On many winter days, I see no daylight at all, and that by itself contributes to depression.

The folks who are answering “let them sleep” just don’t understand the mechanics. People with depression need to get into the light.

@frdelrosario Do you have any suggestions about strategies to get them into the light? Do they all have to be hospitalized?

I agree with @Violet and @Dibley of letting him/her sleep. Trying to “force” anything onto a seriously depressed person is likely to get a violent, at least verbally, response. The best you can do is to let the person know that help is available, to make an appointment with a professional and gently get them there, letting them know well in advance what is going to happen. In most places, hospitalization is not required unless the person is considered a danger to others. The criteria, as I understand it (I’m not a doctor) used to be danger to self or others, but self-danger is no longer grounds for mandatory committal, at least where I live in the US.
Getting the person on the right medications is the first step, the step I’m going through now. Once the depression starts to lift, some kind of talking therapy may be useful to some people. The person may need to stay on a maintenance dose of antidepressants long term or even for life. The best thing to do is be gently supportive, see that the meds are taken (they often seem to have no effect for weeks and sometimes have to be changed several times and doses to get the right combination). Help the person stay with the program, but avoid false cheeriness. Depressed people can see right through that and feel patronized or threatened by it. It’s a long hard road back from depression, but if you truly care for this person, the effort is worth it. You are saving a life.

It doesn’t matter if we think of illegal drugs, prescription pills or otc stuff, people abuse what they’ve got in order escape because it’s easier than facing others and feeling like they have to hide their moods and pains. They need all kinds of help but a schedule to their waking hours is at least a start.

@wundayatta

Do you have any suggestions about strategies to get them into the light? Do they all have to be hospitalized?

Being institutionalized helped me greatly for this reason: The doctor threatened to kick me out if I didn’t follow the program.

Just like any other affliction, the depressed person has to want help. (That could be the most difficult part — with a broken elbow, you say “ow, I gotta see a doc”, but with depression, you cry uncontrollably and sometimes think that’s the normal default state.) My friends persuaded me that I needed help and had to go somewhere. Once I was inside, then the logic said “Since you’re here, you probably don’t want to get kicked out.”

Whether one is an outpatient or an inpatient, the critical part of the process is that one see that he needs help.

In my experience with depression, I actively fought the people who wanted to help me—because I thought I didn’t deserve any help. I did give in because I knew there was something wrong and I really didn’t want to spend my life that way (short life too).

But I never got to the staring at walls, unable to get out of bed stage. I’ve never checked in to the hospital like most bipolar people I know. Once my shrink asked me if I wanted to, and my vehement negation came from within, not from my mind. I think I was talking about wanting to give up on myself at the time.

But, in a way, my experience was like yours. Your friends convinced you to go. In my case, my wife convinced me to see a professional. Whenever I hear of someone who is in trouble and the people who care about them ask what to do, I suggest they give the same message, over and over: “check yourself in.” I think hospitalization helps a lot of people.

I think one problem is that people don’t know what they have a right to do. Are they allowed to make the person answer the door? Are they allowed to force themselves into their friend’s company? Are they allowed to do what they have to in order to urge the person to get help?

I think most people don’t want to piss off their friends by being too forceful. I think what most depressed people want is love. They will test the love by pushing it away. What they really want is for the friends and loved ones to insist. What the friends and loved ones think is they have gone too far. It takes serious love to overcome this dynamic.

@wundayatta: I believe one of the biggest fears depressed people have is the people who love them won’t love them as much if they think there’s something wrong with them so they’ll push for affirmation. Maybe their trust and fear are so out of whack they need more love than at other times?

What is this person’s “weakness”? Does he have an intense need to help others? If so, manufacture a crisis and tell him you could really use his help. Make sure his help involves exercise, outdoor activity, being around other people, all the good stuff you can get away with without him figuring it out. Maybe you could take a trip somewhere. A change of scenery and some fresh air might make’em feel better.

I don’t think forcing someone to wake up will do much good, unfortunately (it is tempting isn’t it). I think if you could somehow use reverse psychology on them and persuade them to begin to get their life back, that would work much nicer without straining your relationship with this person.

I agree with everyone else that oversleeping is a serious problem.

@hungryhungryhortence Very well said.

@hungryhungryhortence Agree with @Dibley . It’s also many times more difficult when the depressed person has always been a loner and has no natural support network. When the only person who cared enough to intervene is now dead and the only other friend is deeply depressed herself and over 200 miles away.

@hungryhungryhortence I agree, too. But I do think that, in general, we tend to be needier than most of the population. We know this, and we might feel guilty about needing so much. So we tell ourselves we want too much and we don’t deserve it, and we wall ourselves off because it is such a fucked up situation and our minds are twisted inside out—wanting what we won’t let ourselves have, unable to recognize that people truly do love us and want to help us, and it is their choice, not something we somehow guilt tripped out of them.

Agree with @wundayatta . Many of us are trained to be self-sufficient and needing help as a sign of weakness. Except for the medications, I’d rather die than seek help. Only a sense of duty and propriety really keep me alive; I was trained to believe that suicide is a cowardly act. That would not prevent me from refusing treatment for a condition that would otherwise kill me (hopefully)

Personally I think sleep is a form of healing so I would let them sleep.