Have you ever witnessed an affair?

Over the years, I have known a few people that were having affairs. I was not particularly close with any of them.

Currently, I know one affair that has lasted for close to twenty years. The wife is aware of it and chooses to turn a blind eye in return for financial stability and a roof over head.

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.

“Where have you been?” demanded his wife when he entered the house.

“Darling, I can’t lie to you. I’ve been having an affair with my secretary and we’ve been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn’t wake up until eight o’clock.”

The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, “You lying bastard! You’ve been playing golf!”.

I watched my boss have an affair with one of our interns. I knew it was morally against what I was capable of, and counseled him against continuing the relationship. But he was weak in that respect of his life, and was enjoying the insane sex he was getting. (he was 52, she was 20) Unfortunately, she became pregnant, and made no attempt to hide who the father was (i believe they call that a homewrecker but am not sure) When his wife found out, she didn’t divorce him. She wouldn’t divorce him. She made his life a living hell and will continue to do so until she can claim his pensions an Social security. Then perhaps she will either forgive or cut him loose. They have moved away and I have lost contact with them. It would be interesting to see how this all plays out.

Well, I ratted a stupid man out to his wife once. I was active duty, so was she. That made her my shipmate. The idiot kept coming on to me, even after I told him to piss off in no uncertain terms. I hated doing it on the one hand, and struggled with it, but it came down to: I would want someone to tell me. I hate that feeling that other people know something and they’re not telling me. I went through that many years ago with a guy who was cheating. everybody knew but me. But I felt it. I can only base my decisions on my experiences, you know? So directly because of that experience, I went to a shipmate and did my duty. Duty is difficult sometimes. She told me she had suspected and thanked me for confirming her suspicions. I know that feeling. I’m not proud of what I did, but cannot feel ashamed either. I would be part of a conspiracy of silence had I not spoken up. I did a contemptible thing but it was less contemptible than silent complicity.

I worked at a hotel bar for a spell and a woman was there talking to her husband and children on her cell phone. She would say things like “Aww, I miss you, too!” And “I love, you and I can’t wait to come home.” She talked to me about her husband and children for a while. Then, the man she was apparently there to meet joined her at the bar. The way they talked, it was as if they had been having an on-off thing for a long time and it had been a long while since they last got together. After several martinis and cosmos, they got more and more touchy-feely and it bordered on risque when they finally decided to leave me a huge tip and retire to their room. Yick.

I’ve worked two places where the owner of the business had an affair, and gave the person they where having an affair with a job. One situation was working at a law firm for a 48 year old lawyer with a 19 year old office manager. He had his office remodeled to include a bed behind a sliding panel behind his desk, supposedly because he had a “bad back” and needed to lie down. She traveled with him, and he bought her a new BMW every few years, as an “office car because she ran personal errands for him.” This affair went on for years, until his wife divorced him. Then the girlfriend dumped him, too.

During the course of an 8-hour plus shift, officers will sometimes go to big parking lots, like KMart or WalMart, in order finish writing a report. you would be surprised at the number of very suspicious rendezvous that we witness. one will park their car and get into anothers automobile and be gone. two or three hours later, the car will return and both leave after a lengthy kiss. i kept telling myself that these were people just meeting to go have a run in the park. sure. get real.. its just one affair after another i am witnessing. officers keep a lot to themselves.

I’ve seen it many times and I have never involved myself in it. I’ve noticed many people who are involved in an affair want to shock other people, they seem the get some kind of thrill from knowing you know. It’s creepy and adolescent.

I have, but the couple wasn’t married. They were, however, in a 4 year relationship and had discussed marriage seriously. She is my roommate and began seeing someone else about 4 months before she and the real boyfriend actually broke up. I never knew which one would be coming out of the bedroom. I was expected to be polite to the new one and act like it was normal for him to be here, and keep my mouth shut to the old one, even when he’d ask me if I thought she seemed strange lately. It was not a fun time and when they finally broke up, I was so relieved.

You know, I don’t know of one directly except for one that happened when I was in 8th grade between the principal and the secretary. A few of us knew because we’d caught them kissing one day after school (we were there to finish a project) in October.

The affair didn’t shock us as much as the fact that the principal was “OMG, movie star!” handsome and the secretary was a chinless wonder with a poodle perm and a big gap between her teeth. Poor thing. I think she knew that the 5th-8th grade boys (aged 10–13) regularly made cracks about how physically unattractive she was.

I don’t think we told anyone except to make an oblique joke about it during a morning announcements “radio show” we put out to the school. I don’t know if anyone understood what we were talking about. As for telling other people (kid or adult) what we saw, no, or at least I didn’t. Who wanted to be in the middle of that scandal when it inevitably blew up?

By the time I finished the following May, and on to high school, no scandal had erupted. I wonder what ended up happening?

This question got me to thinking – and, if memory serves, I have personally known of at least six long-term affairs over the years.

How sad.

I never personally witnessed it, but I became aware that my boss was fooling around almost a year before the news came out. It was really frustrating because his wife, a friend of mine, also worked at the school. Since I did not physically see it, I never told her, having been counseled by a coworker not to. It physically sickened me to be around him, and I lost all respect for him as a leader. I still wish I had told her, but I didn’t know what to do. She eventually found out, divorced the jerk, and is happily married to a real nice guy.

Yes. I learned that it isn’t always complete meanness and selfishness that sets an affair running. The person I am thinking of made poor decisions that brought pain to herself and others, yet it wasn’t a cut and dry situation.

I’ve known a few people who’ve had affairs. My husband had a good friend who met and married a wonderful young woman. She’s smart, very attractive, motivated, and fun to be around. She adored him. After they’d been married for a few years, she found out he had a second cell phone and email account. When she confronted him, he admitted he’d been having an affair. Eventually she decided to give him a second chance, which he had been begging for. She again caught him with the same woman, and they finally separated for good. The experience caused her years of pain, but she went on with what she wanted to do in life. She’s about to get married again. He is miserable and says he screwed up with the best woman he could have hoped for in life.

My parents are divorced, and my mom remarried several years ago. She suspected her husband was having an affair, and when she confronted him he admitted to it. She hates him, has no respect for him, and secretly planted some kind of GPS device in his car so she can track him online. She is miserable and hates her life, but won’t leave him because she does not want to be financially responsible for herself.

We also have two relatives who have cheated on their wives. One of them has been unhappy in his marriage for years. He’s had a few affairs, and one was long-term. I think the wife suspected, but never came right out and asked him. The girlfriend had some emotional issues, and at one point told the husband she was pregnant. He knew it wasn’t true because he’d had a vasectomy years before, and a trip to the doctor confirmed that he was still sterile. For a while it seemed like the girlfriend would do something to make the wife aware of the affair in a way she couldn’t deny, but nothing like that ever happened. This husband and wife have two kids. They see how Mom and Dad have no respect for each other, and they all treat each other like dirt. The saddest part of the situation is seeing the kids grow up in that kind of household.

The other relative of ours made the stupid decision to have an affair with a good friend of his wife. The wife is one of those great women who has an outstanding career and is also a super mom, helping to coach baseball and being involved in their two kids’ lives to a truly impressive extent. She’s funny, down to earth, and full of common sense. The two kids are wonderful boys. That’s a lot to risk for an affair, but the husband did it anyway. It wasn’t a long affair, but when he tried to end it the other woman started sending emails to the wife, flat-out saying, “Your husband cheated on you with me.” The wife, in a display of denial I will never understand, refused to believe any of it. She accused the friend of lying out of jealousy or as revenge for some past argument, and just ended the friendship. While she didn’t believe the emails, I’ve seen their relationship change. The two of them are not nearly so close, and it’s clear a certain level of trust and respect is gone. The husband has confided to my husband that he is unhappy in the marriage because the wife isn’t very interested in him sexually. He thinks he should have another affair. It disgusts me, because I think he only had the affair in the first place to compete with his brother (the man I described above) who is the kind of guy to brag about that sort of thing. Both of them have lost my respect, and when we’re all together for holidays and they talk about how wonderful family is, I want to puke at the hypocrisy. They couldn’t keep it in their pants even for the sake of their children, and they blather on about family? Please.

In the cases where I knew about the affair and the wife didn’t, I did not consider telling the wife. I have no proof or names, and there are children involved in both families. Not my business at all, plus my husband would be mad because both these relatives of his told him about the affairs in secrecy. He wasn’t supposed to tell me, so the husbands don’t know that I know.

Yeah, I didn’t involve myself in it though. I was stationed in Jacksonvile, FL. A long story short…...guys were banging this guys wife while we were out to sea. Stuff like that goes on all the time.

@Blackberry – GUY – S?? Oh, dear.

@aprilsimnel Yes…multiple men lol. It happens to women too, some guys cheat on their wives overseas. Though when I say ‘all the time’ it’s not a frequent thing, it just seemed that the scandals were popping up all the time. It’s not a major occurence, the scandals just spread around once it comes out.

@PandoraBoxx He had his office remodeled to include a bed behind a sliding panel behind his desk

Sleazeball. That makes my skin crawl.

@supacase @PandoraBoxx that is really creepy.

I had a friend who was cheating on her husband. She had been cheating since before we met. I kept my mouth shut until her husband called me at 3am looking for her. I am no one’s alibi. I didn’t give him details, but I told him where I thought she was. I figured the rest would come out after that and it did.

My ex girlfriend’s Mom has been seeing a married man for over 20 years (they’re both in their 70’s now). When I was with my ex, we knew that it was best not to visit her Mom on Saturday’s because that’s the day that “Phil” would be there. Apparently, he’d tell his wife that he had something else going with a few of his buddies, but, in fact he was spending the day and a good part of the evening with “his honey”. And, they always hung out at her place (they didn’t want to be seen out in public). I remember how weird and uncomfortable it was when seeing them cuddling on the sofa and then seeing him kiss her goodbye. He’s was leaving to go home to be with his wife.

Weird

I caught my mum cheating on my dad with another man when I was 11 years old. That wasn’t much fun but I was aware at the time that my parents marriage was coming to an end and mums affair was only one thing in a long line of marital problems.

I had forgotten about a disgusting display going on in the hotel lounge where I stayed when I first got to guam while waiting for housing. A man and woman were apparently having an affair and apparently needed all of us to know about it rather than remain discreet. They were very vocal and actually got up and Karaoke’d the song: Me and Mrs. Jones.
Welcome to Guam, where America’s day begins. Yeah. I wanted to hurl.

I witnessed my step-father have an affair on my mother! I was just a child but I remember when my mom found out and the resulting show down between her, and the other woman! Oddly enough she went back to my step-father and became best friends with the other woman! I always thought her I hate to say it, but stupid for this! I never trusted either one of them and didn’t understand how my mom could!

One time I was babysitting and the husband was at the movies and the wife was out shopping. I got this phone call from this guy who wanted to speak with the wife. when I said she wasn’t there he just said to tell her her boyfriend called. I was kinda weirded out

My mother had an affair when I was young and still living at home. She kept a JOURNAL about it right under her bed. Didn’t she know that kids find everything? The man she was having the affair with was a friend of the family, supposedly, and his wife was a good friend of my mother’s. They used to drink together when all us kids were at school.

One night the husband was staying over with my mother (my father used to sleep over in the city when he had to work late), and the daughter was staying over with me. We were 13. We were up all night because we were 13 and excitable, and around dawn we looked out a window and saw her dad’s car in our driveway. We looked at each other. We didn’t say anything.

A close friend of mine cheated on her gf with a person. She knew she could tell me because I’d keep her secret. I let the two of them into my home to spend the weekend. I had no qualms about doing that. Their affair was brief, she has remained with her gf for years after that. She has, as far as I know, never told her gf and I will always keep my mouth shut. I couldn’t do what she has done, though. It would eat me up from the inside but people are different. I think she may have explained it to herself with the fact that he was a man and therefore it ‘didn’t count’ but she knows better.

Before I met my wife I dated this woman for several years and we almost moved- in together but… For a few months before that she began working late and acted nervous and was tired when she got home, I went over to her office and just sat close enough to see her car and then she came out in the arms of a co-worker and they got in and I followed.
back to her place (I have a key) and I watched them go inside so I waited ten minutes and then called her, she answered and was out of breath and told me she had just gotten home with several bags of groceries.
I waited an hour and then called her to see if she wanted to met-up and she said in an hour so I went in the building and waited down the hall and her door opened and her co-worker emerged disheveled so as son as he left I called her again and said I made dinner and would be right over- counted to ten and then knocked on the door and she opened it and was all sweaty and with messed-up just had sex hair. I told her I saw him and got that deer in the headlights look and just said perhaps you should call him and share the meal with him because we’re done…

I have witnessed an affair, and I could do nothing but keep my mouth shut. She was such a good friend, but she was so wrong in what she was doing. I couldn’t stand it – and she changed after that – no longer friends either.

I was office manager on one job, and the boss asked me to make motel reservations for him and his ‘friend’. I didn’t want to do it, and a few weeks later, he gave me 6 months severance pay, and hired her to take my place.

I wouldn’t tell someone unless I was really close to the person being cheated on. In that case, I would tell them without thinking twice about it. As for telling someone I don’t know well? If they asked, you’re damn right I’d say something.

It kind of disturbs me that people wouldn’t tell the truth, for the most part. I remember being in a situation where cheating was taking place, but I had no proof. I knew that his friends knew, but even when I asked them, they wouldn’t say anything. And I think that’s fucking disgusting.

as terrible, and betraying as this person might be, and despite how much you would want to just set things right, don’t get involved, best thing you could do for your self :(　because you don’t want to become involved in a dispute between two people… and who knows what he might do if you spilled the beans to his wife…. just let her find out in her own way…. or anonymous phone call might work? but then again…. don’t go there.

@Trillian I don’t think it’s contemptable to tell someone that their someone is cheating. I would hate to waste time with a cheater. People should get a chance to get out if they need to and have the chance of a good life.

@DrasticDreamer I didn’t tell my friend’s gf because my primary responsibility is to my friends – their secrets, no matter what, are mine.

@DrasticDreamer I’ve thought about saying something to the two women whose husbands had cheated on them, but didn’t have a good reason to do it. One of them didn’t believe the friend who did tell her, so why should she believe me? It happened a few years ago, and as far as I know the husband hasn’t done it again. They have two young boys, like I said above.

The other woman, according to more than one person in our family, has said things to her husband indicating she knew he was having an affair but couldn’t prove it. She never asked him, but made comments and became suspicious. She would do things like sniff her husband all over when he came home late (his job often has late/odd hours), check his cell phone records and dial numbers she didn’t recognize. As far as I know, he hasn’t cheated in a few years. They have two little kids also. It just seemed wiser not to get involved. If I were closer to these women or knew more about the situation, I might have done something different. If they didn’t have kids, I might have done something different.

Lots of them. I’ve seen them in my families while growing up, in-laws destroy marriages, friends betrayed, bored and neglected co workers, school staff, etc. The worst seem to happen to friends though.

A man marries an already pregnant woman being abused by her bf. She cheats on him with co workers over the years, lies about the paternity of her child to the supposed father (ex bf) and ends up divorcing to marry another abusive man, one she had cheated with.

A man marries an already pregnant woman being abused by her bf. She cheats on him with his own co workers, claims bi polar disorder to be able to not work, get alimony on top of child support and an excuse for astronomical spending on their joint credit cards which he got stuck paying for. He pays for anything because she has the kids more and he doesn’t want to see anything happen to them so that means she doesn’t feel accountable to keep up her own car payments, car insurance, rent, school clothes expenditures, whatever she can get away with.

So many of these stories and that’s just a few of the guys!

I have….... quite literally. When I was about 16, it was the summer holidays, & I was cleaning the front windows of our house. It was one of those typically English terraced streets. I was upstairs cleaning the window in my mums room, I glanced across the street to see our neighbour being slam-dunked across her bedroom dresser….... as you can imagine, it was quite a surprise. Anyway, I went downstairs, was watching a little TV when I saw the ‘bloke’ leave, & about 20mins later, her husband came home.