Is it just me, or when you really look at it does dating at a young age seem pointless?

Just think of it as practicing for that one relation that will be worth the trouble.

Dating is pointless. Relationships are pointless. Love is pointless. It’s all nonsense and suck. Play video games instead. They aren’t jerks.

It’s practice… you’re not quite sure who you are at a young age, and things change so much. But it happens, and you can’t escape what feelings you might have for some one so it’s going to happen regardless…. relationships are just risky but can be great when it’s the right time.

The right time is the only thing that matters…. you could meet the love of your life at any age

Yeaaaaa! It was so pointless when i started dating my girlfriend when she was 15 and I was 17. That soooooo didnt pay off…. ohhh wait a minute… yes it did since that was 4 years ago and we’re still happily together.

you never know when it is you’‘re going to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

I’m 20. Dating isn’t pointless. Especially if you’re dating someone you could see yourself forever with (like I am and do).

I agree with @markyy, it’s not pointless, it’s practice.

Its just experience I guess.

My parents started dating 26 years ago, when they were 17 and 18, so I don’t think it’s pointless.

I’ve been meaning to make a question on it but.. humans seem to have a tendency to think they “don’t like” the things they are simply unfamiliar with. It’s the age old concept of fearing what you don’t know. But it seems like it manifests in many innocuous ways as well. like this perhaps. timidness to approach the “thing” in question, in this case dating, can lead us into a fallacy where we conclude that it’s something we would rather do without and hence it stops us from finding out how to overcome our fears and try something new that we may enjoy.

Fear/Discomfort/Inexperience/Hesitancy with a thing is not itself proof of preference. It’s simply a horrible but irrational feeling about the thing. It could be false.

Example: consider someone who is scared of needles who refuses a harmless tetanus shot. Imagine him saying: I would, but I don’t think sticking things into your body is natural. Sure, he has a point, but is it really best to do without for this reason alone?
of course, it’s possible this isn’t the real issue with you. but it’s interesting to consider

I definatly wouldn’t call it pointless. We learn by experiencing and growing with those made experiences. By learning what we like and don’t like out of a person by dating them and yes, experience heartbreak in the process. I also think you really experience a lot stronger emotions during adolescence so it makes both the up’s and down’s more intense. Even though my first heart break was absolutely devastating, the experience is something that I wouldn’t take back because those events have made me the person I am today.

One important “point” of dating is learning how people interact with each other, and also what qualities are important to you in a partner and what you do not want to have in a partner. The challenge of dating is setting limits with people about what you will and won’t accept in your life, especially when you find yourself very attracted to someone. You may have heartbreak, you may have frustration, you may have disappointment. Welcome to life.

Dating is not just about finding a mate and reproducing. That could be done in a lab if you prefer. Dating is about getting closer to others and allowing them to get close to you. I’m not sure if you aren’t really interested in getting close to anybody else, or if it is more about anxiety of them getting close to you. As Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote: ” ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. ”

What’s “the point” of dating at ANY age??

It’s not pointless. Social interaction is a part of being human. That includes developing loving relationships. And like everyone else said, it’s practice.

When I was 14, a friend of mine, the same age, was having sex with a 12 yr old girl.
I was just exasperated by it. I felt (and still do) that there was no reason for someone so young to abandon their youth and jump into adult situations.

The point of dating for the sake of dating seems pointless to me. Going out with a person you like, does not. It seems to me that a lot of the dating that young people do is the former, not the latter, or that a lot of what they get out of it could be gotten out of simply hanging around with people. Maybe that is why it feels pointless?

And by “dating” I meant dating, not sex. That would be pointless and possibly detrimental to the rest of their lives.

@Janka Agreed. Dating becomes really fun after you fall in love with them :) I have so much fun with my girlfriend now and I love being with her.

@filmfann What the hell….

I don’t know if I’d go with “pointless” but I believe that kids so young really aren’t emotionally equipped to deal with the resulting emotional issues that are part of dating. Our society dictates that you are not part of the crowd is you do not, and that makes the decision not to more difficult, but I may be in the monority.

*if. *minority. Dangit.

12 year old having sex….. ok, thats just f’****ed up….. 12 year old is still a child, so is a 13, 14 , 15, 16 year olds….. jeeze, how fast do people need to have sex….. slow down people….

and don’t tell me you don’t agree, as if you want your children having sex at such a young age.

No, it’s not pointless. I feel that once a person gets to be about 15 or 16, it’s time for them to learn how to let people in who aren’t members of their family or their childhood playmates, and learn how to navigate boundaries and closeness with new people. Those experiences, good, bad and indifferent, need to start some time. I feel it’s better to start when, ideally, they’ll have help from their parents.

I wasn’t allowed to date as a teen. At all. Ironically, my (male) cousin was. We won’t even get into the sexual double standard of how that was allowed to happen. Even when I came home from college to spend what turned out to be my last summer there, my “curfew” was 10pm and I got yelled at for even showing interest in men and wanting to date – and I was 19!

When it came to learning that a man I was attracted to could and would be attracted back, even if some said no, that a man could see who I was, warts and all, and wouldn’t judge me, and would like me anyway, that lesson was so long in coming, and by the time I did start dating, I was so far behind everyone else that my insecurities drove decent guys away.

No one taught me anything. I had to learn the hard way with no help or advice, and now at 40, I (finally) have some dating skills of an early 20-something. Suffice it to say that many of my friends are married or divorced and have kids. Men, my age, older or younger, have had so much more relational and sexual experience than me that I’m a bit intimidated, and 20-somethings are not interested once they learn how old I am, so I’m at a bit of a disadvantage.

Dammit, let your 15 or 16 year old date. Warn them about unsafe sexual activity, yes. But you can’t stop hormones. Nature kicks them in at 14–15 for a reason. There’s nothing wrong with dating; parents just need to step up and give their kids guidance instead of wishing their kids’ maturity away. The Carters wore out, OK? At least if a parent is open to their teen dating (and I don’t mean sexing), they could help with some advice and some guidance on what to look for in healthy dating partners and situations.

It probablymade more since when people got married at at 16 and women were considered “old maid’s” at 20.

@aprilsimnel was that directed at me? :S I don’t have kids…. Uuuhhhhhhh….. i’m 19….. but having sex is really not something that should happen at such a young age, I’m sure once your 14 – 15 you’re starting to develop those feelings, but i think the most common age is around 16–18 is when you become sexually active… but why have sex so young? what is it… peer pressure? just to be cool? sometimes it’s not because they are in it for a relationship…. they are imature, and especially boys… who’s serious at that point? what are you learning? I dont think your learning anything but feeding your own satisfaction, neither do ‘most’ know how to treat their s.o. when they are going through so many changes and hormones are going crazy. also they go nuts over a popularity status and thats annoying…. as if in school you didn’t hear people constantly go ‘she’s/he is a loser…’ or ‘he’s so popular… i love him’ bla bla bla….it’s not even until your out of high school that those stupid things finially diminished…. and i’m not talking about every one, i’m talking about most of them.

@bean ; I think it’s biology. Up until recent generations people were getting married at 14, 15 and 16. Our bodies are wired to reproduce. I wonder if evolution will change this since those who reproduce to young have a higher chance of living in poverty now.

@Judi in the end we are just magnets to eachother…. our feelings are just the internal instinct to keep reproducing…. thats all it is…. and men are the dominant ones of our species…. might as well face the facts that their drive is more determined to keep our kind thriving…. and thats why we end up doing silly things like have sex when ever we can, and then every now and then some one’s not wearing protection…. uh oh…..

No, @bean. I’m just saying how not being able to date affected me. Please don’t take it personally. I always use a handle when I am responding directly to someone here.

Also, I said dating and not sexing. Teens need guidance. Just because you’re getting through your adolescence in a certain way doesn’t mean everyone wants to or will, and you can’t take other people’s sexual activity personally, either. Hence my caveat about parents stepping up to the plate on these matters. But teens are going to have to learn how to handle relationships at some point, and that’s a fact. The way to learn is by dating, which really has nothing to do with popularity, but learning how to relate on a deep emotional level to another human being as a partner. And mistakes will be made. That’s how we learn and grow.

We need those make-ups and break-ups in life, those are good to have experienced. I love the person i am and that has alot to do with those make=ups and break-ups, but love is diffrent for everybody, we can all relate in some kind of way, buy some us have some real bad horror stories, so i would say that its okay to fall in love at a young age and if you do, enjoy it! its great! if you end up with a broken heart, just go thru the emotions responsibly and get excited because if you handle it the right way, then an actuall broken heart will not scare you anymore, getting hurt will not be so bad, you’ll create an emotional toughness, that kind of conditions you to be responsible for your own actions and to put your self in healthy love enviroments. All you have to do then is stop giving your number out so much.

@aprilsimnel I’m not sure if we are agreeing with each other or debating haha, but I’m agreeing with you, the best thing adults can do is direct younger people in the right direction, teach them what they need and can use in life…. how would a person learn how o treat his girlfriend/boyfriend with out making a few mistakes and learning to understand what they want, what it’s like to go through the pain of losing some one they fell for which will make them more aware and more considerate to their s.o. but they will also learn to deal with situations and better themselves to make a real relationship work later on.
But, on the other hand, they could be told all this, and then put it into practice with a better education about being with some one, what does it really mean to put your heart and throw yourself into the care of some one else when two people exchange the same feelings…. some people just take advantage of it, or lack the experience or understanding…. overall, school doesn’t do much… they are not doing a very good job at teaching anything to younger people….. bullying and educating them a like…. and parents should step up to.

Dating is never pointless, you learn as you go and every relationship will “prep” you for future ones, and in turn that “one” that lasts forever <3

@DrC I really have never agreed with that line.

Not always pointless…you learn from your mistakes, you learn things about the other people…and plus I dated at 16 and I’ve been with him since. It’s been years now.