Does the twisted logic make any sense to mundanes?

The emotional logic of a bipolar person is so convoluted. I’m lucky. I can see what I’m doing. Sometimes that helps, and sometimes I give in and do it the bipolar way. It is so much easier to give in. I’m depressed today and may get worse. I had been fighting it away for two days, but then, last night, something else happened, and today, I couldn’t stop it any more.

I don’t know if we’re worth fighting for. It happens over and over, and we’ll hurt our loved ones over and over, and maybe it would just be better to be done with it, and get dropped, and let us sink down and down. That’s looking more and more attractive today.

Then we only have ourselves to blame, and that’s the way we like it. We know we brought the sadness on ourselves, but that it had to happen sooner or later. This way, we control it. We take charge of our own unraveling.

It’s like seeing the freight train coming, closer and closer, and you don’t just stand there, but you run towards the train so it will be over sooner.