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Judi's avatar

Which is worse; Wanting something you can't have? Or having something you don't particularly want?...

Asked by Judi (39798points) February 6th, 2010

This is a pretty open question and can be interpreted in any way you like.

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26 Answers

Pseudonym's avatar

having something you don’t particularly want. you can always get rid of it.

Holden_Caulfield's avatar

Both! They both cause turmoil inside and must be dealt with accordingly. Neither one is a good thing. Conflict of this nature always causes… conflict!

Spinel's avatar

It depends on if this “thing of wanting” is physical, or abstract.

Wanting something you can’t have can be good for motivation. Or it can shape your character, by uprooting some selfishness. But the good and bad of anything unobtainable really depends on how the individual responds to it.

The category of “owning something you don’t want” is trickier. An unwanted physical object can be easily sold on eBay. End of story. But unwanted feelings and hurt are quite another matter. These truly internal wounds are never wanted, but happen and sometimes last an eternity.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Having something you don’t particularly want is worse, especially if you’re having a hard time finding out what about it isn’t “good enough” or whatever. Justifying keeping something bugs on me, like clutter. I don’t like to waste or feel ungrateful but there are things given me I don’t keep or won’t buy myself as a pacifier in place of what I really want.

Judi's avatar

I have to give credit where credit is due. I stole this question from my trainer’s facebook status update. My first response was having the extra 30 lbs I have packed back on in the last year is WAY worse!

suncatnin's avatar

Depends on what the “thing” is. Having something I don’t want but have the ability to get rid of is much more preferred than wanting something I can’t have. Then again, my brain went to STIs and I think that not being able to have something would certainly be better than having something (HSV, HPV, HIV, etc) that I don’t want and can’t get rid of.

marinelife's avatar

Wanting something you can’t have, because it keeps you from being content with your status.

If you have something you don’t want, you can always get rid of it.

Jeruba's avatar

If the thing you have but don’t want is, let’s say, an ardent admirer in whom you are not interested, or a relationship that’s over, it can be maddening and heartbreaking at the same time. And very hard to get rid of. So I would not be too quick to choose this option; it’s not like an old chair.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I was born with Aspergers Syndrome, something I never wanted but can’t get rid of. I learned fairly early in life to limit my aspirations to those things that I can do. Anything involving real social skills is out. You should challenge yourself but be reasonable with goals. I’m willing to settle at this point for being an academic and organic farmer; admittedly a weird combination. My lifes plans were shattered three months ago, but I’m slowly learning to do what I can with what is left.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

If something is impossible to have then of course that would be worse.

loser's avatar

I’d say it’s worse to want something you can’t have.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. It is worse to have something you don’t want and can’t get rid of than to not be able to get something you wanted. For instance of you really wanted a certain type of house but could never get it you still have a home somewhere. If you had roaches in your existing home and could not get rid of them they would affect you more and daily than some longing for a house you can’t obtain. Same as you want blonde hair naturally, you can’t get it because that is the genes you have, but you also have the genes that made you allergic animal dander and corn oil, that would affect your day-to-day more than not having a flowing mane of gold hair.

ChocolateReigns's avatar

I’d have to say it depends on what the “thing” is. Like earlier said, if it’s a disease, that would be worse than wanting something you can’t have. But then there’s the instantly-thought-of dating side of this. Wanting someone you know you can’t have would be worse than having something you don’t want.

john65pennington's avatar

Both are bad news. a good way to look at this is: i had rather have the winning ticket to the lottery, rather than aids. since i am not planning on having either one, i will just accept what i do have and be thankful i am not broke and i am healthy.

wildflower's avatar

It depends on how controllable it is.
Having something you dont want and cant get rid of (like a medical condition), is much worse than not having that Dream job (yet). Whereas having short hair when you want long (time – or extentions or a wig Can address that) is better than wanting the love of someone who just doesnt feel that Way about you.

Cruiser's avatar

Something you don’t particularly want implies there is some intrinsic value or benefit to ownership of that something no matter how small the value. Wanting something you can’t have can be excrutiating.

Bluefreedom's avatar

Wanting something I couldn’t have would be my bane of existence. To yearn for something I could never obtain, day in and day out relentlessly, would make me crazy.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I’d rather have something I don’t really want (this would be so for objects only) rather than not having something I really want.

Merriment's avatar

I’d rather not have something I want..unfulfilled longing is easier to live with than some carbuncle of a something that you don’t want but must live with.

YARNLADY's avatar

Wanting something you dan’t have is way worse. If you have something you don’t want, you can just get rid of it, problem solved.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I can’t think of anything I don’t have that matters to me enough to bother me and believe me I don’t have much by most people’s estimates.

Having something I don’t want and can’t get rid of is much worse. e.g. chronic severe pain.

downtide's avatar

Having something you don’t want is usually easy to deal with by giving it away or disposing of it. So I think that wanting something you can’t have is harder.

Sophief's avatar

I think are both as bad as each oth other.

Nullo's avatar

Wanting something that I can’t have. Ve have vays of dealink with useless crap.

Aesthetic_Mess's avatar

For me, it’s wanting something I can’t have. That is often my problem.

sweetbee's avatar

Wanting something I can’t have. If I have something I don’t want I can usually trade it for something else. However something out of my reach remains that way and I am unable to satisfy that desire.

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