I need a reason and a way to try again with my life?

I hold no value for myself. And I know that that’s bad, I know that I should, but I don’t. I don’t see the point. I honestly don’t see the value in me. and please don’t try to make up something for me
I’m scared of reaching out to people… but miserable alone.
I’m spoiling all the relationships I once had with my silence. I’m hurting people that I don’t want to hurt.
I don’t know how to hit the restart button… I had a few hard years, but they’re behind me now. Or should be.

I don’t understand why I’m here. I don’t see what I could possibly contribute to the world.

I feel trapped in my mind.

I don’t know what I’m still holding onto… so where do I find the courage to let it go? Where do I find the courage to step back into life, instead of watching it fly by me?

I don’t know how much you can help me, since you don’t know me…
everyone around me sees more in me than there actually is. I don’t feel like I have the strength to rise up, show them I’m less, and see their dissappointment. But I know I need to.
So where do I find the courage? The words?

How do I come out and say I’m here, I’ll try?
How do I feel good about trying to feel good about myself?
How do I salvage relationships drowning in noncommunication, misunderstanding, and dissappointment?