Social Question

john65pennington's avatar

Do children, in elementary school, still give Valentines to each other?

Asked by john65pennington (29192points) February 13th, 2010

When i was younger and in elementary school, giving out Valentines to your “special friends” was a big deal. there was this special girl i wanted to be friends with, but i was too shy to even talk to her. but, when Valentines Day arrived, i went into action. i made her a special valentine(with a little help from my mom). i did not give my valentine to her, but asked a friend to be my mailman. i watched her read my valentine and chills went up and down my spine. she looked my way and smiled. she smiled at me! we became best friends, until she died of cancer, later in life. is this the real purpose of Valentines Day? to make friends that last a lifetime and young love that continues to marriage? is there more to “Be My Valentine” than we ever realized?

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26 Answers

Jude's avatar

They sure do. I teach 3rd grade. I get them to each make up a rather large pouch (envelope type thing) for the front of their desks. They decorate it and put their name on the front. Then, in the morning each child gets to go around to the other students’ desks and drop in the Valentine. :)

ducky_dnl's avatar

Some do, some don’t. They don’t do it in my city anymore. I think they are too busy bringing knives trying to kill each other over some elementary drama. :/

MissAusten's avatar

That’s a wonderful story!

My kids still do Valentines at school. The teacher sends home a class list, and the kids make cards for everyone in the class. They also make their own “mailboxes” and love to bring them home and look at all of the cards. Some are store-bought, and some are hand-made. In the public schools, the kids aren’t allowed to give candy or treats with the cards (mainly due to concerns over food allergies), but they often attach cute pencils or even a little container of Play-Doh. My first-grader gave out cards with temporary tattoos attached.

My youngest son is in preschool, and they don’t have the “no candy” rule. He made Dora the Explorer cards on the computer for all of the girls in his class, and handed out Bakugan cards with fake tattoos to the boys. We taped a Valentine lollilpop to each card. They also did a special activity where the kids each drew a name out of a hat and made a special Valentine for that friend. My son decorated a big red heart with butterfly and pony stickers, wrote a message on it, and added some glitter hearts. The kids loved getting these big, individualized cards. The one my son received had Star Wars pictures all over it, and he hung it in his room as soon as he got home!

My daughter is in middle school, and they no longer have an organized class party. Instead, the kids make Valentines for their best friends and hand them out. Those are pretty special because they have something personal written on them. The cards mean a lot to her and she saves them. :)

OuterHaven's avatar

yea but now they come with STDs

Pretty_Lilly's avatar

I think it has been replaced by Valentine’s sexting

Sophief's avatar

Yes, though they are trying to ban it in this country.

OuterHaven's avatar

@Dibley seriously? from schools?

Sophief's avatar

@OuterHaven Yes, because they don’t want kids getting upset if they don’t get one, or bullying other girls. This country gets more f*cked up by the minute.

josie's avatar

Sure hope they do. That was always kind of fun.

OuterHaven's avatar

@Dibley thats ridiculous! its healthy and if you dont get a valentines it also shows kids they dont always get what they want. that lifes not always fair….damn country TRIES TO CENSOR EVERYTHING.

Sophief's avatar

@OuterHaven Well I never got any at school and it did me no harm.although I really wanted one

OuterHaven's avatar

@Dibley aww well young boys are usually thinking more about pokemon till about the 8th or 9th grade.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

My little nieces and nephews do.I used to love getting V-day cards.I still do:)

AstroChuck's avatar

My daughter’s school does. The one difference from when I was a student is that you must bring enough for the entire class. The students giving the valentine puts their name where it says “from” but leaves the “to” section blank.

cookieman's avatar

Yup. My daughter just came home with a big bag of them from her class on Friday. As @AstroChuck points out, she had to make sure to bring enough for everyone in the class so no one feels left out. She did put names on all of them though.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I was hoping that they had dropped that practice. For kids that lack social skills, the whole thing is just another reminder of that social rejection. As as autistic (wasn’t diagnosed back then) kid, I dreaded such things. I just wanted to study and leave all the social crap out. It was just another opportunity to reject or bully, as @Dibley points out.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I believe Elementary school is the same as Primary school here in the UK although I’m not 100% sure so if anyone does know for sure please inform me and, if that’s the case, when I was at Primary school we used have a box near the reception of the school for putting our Valentines cards in and then the teachers would give give them to whoever they were addressed to. It kept it anonymous which is the point of Valentines day for certain people!

However, I read this recently and the town is not a million miles from where I grew up or where I live now

pearls's avatar


Seek's avatar

Yeah, there was some rule when my sister was younger (she’s 6 years my junior) that you had to give one to everyone, or no one at all.

That wasn’t so much the case when I was a kid. We just made special things for our friends, and gave the cheapo ones to everyone else. It wasn’t a rule, it’s just what we did.

Aethelwine's avatar

My daughter is in kindergarten and we were given a list of all the students names two weeks ago. You must send a card for every child. I couldn’t believe the amount of candy that my daughter brought home from school yesterday. Just about every card had some type of candy taped to it. It felt like Halloween all over again.

During open house at the beginning of the year there is a list that the parents can sign to designate who brings what for each party. I signed up to send a treat for the Valentine’s party. The class had so many goodies that they didn’t even pass out the cookies that we sent for the party. They are being saved for Tuesday when they return to school. what a waste of my money :(

Judi's avatar

My 3 tear old grandson had a party at pre-school. My daughter got video of girls fighting over him and the teacher had to intervine to get them to stop kissing him. Some party, hu?

MissAusten's avatar

Like others have pointed out, the policy at my kids’ schools is you bring a card for everyone, or you don’t participate. It was done that way when I was in grade school, oh so many decades ago (three, to be exact). I’m surprised there are schools that still allow it to be a popularity contest. Kids put each other through enough of that crap, it shouldn’t be a part of a holiday.

AstroChuck's avatar

@Leanne- Youre correct. Your primary school is basically our elementary school, which goes from kindergarten through grade six. In the US the word primary in regards to school is what we call grades K through third grade. The fourth through sixth grades are known as the intermediate grades.

OpryLeigh's avatar

@AstroChuck Thanks for clearing that up :)

wundayatta's avatar

In elementary school I could not imagine ever admitting that I had any kind of liking for any girl. Too shy. Too afraid. Too unknowledgable. Too afraid of anyone saying no to me. Too much shame. So, obviously, valentines were a horror to me I still remember those old feelings when the day comes around. I’m glad I now have a rule about what to get, so I know what to do, but there is too much weirdness about it for me to say anything beyond a formula—which, surprise, surprise, also makes me feel less capable.

Of course, the same is true of any holiday involving gifts. That’s why Thanksgiving is the only tolerable holiday for me.

john65pennington's avatar

Dibley. if i could send you a valentine, i would. i am sorry you were left out at your school. that really had to be a heartbreaker. Happy Valenties Day, Dibley!! john said that to you.

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