Social Question

wundayatta's avatar

Have you done something for yourself even though it caused pain to others you loved?

Asked by wundayatta (58599points) February 13th, 2010

I think this is a pretty damn hard question to answer. To answer it, you have to admit to selfishness of a sort that most people condemn.

If you’ve done something like this, and if you’re willing to talk about it, can you describe what you did, and how you felt afterwards? Did you get what you thought you were going to get? Were you happier, after all? Was it worth it?

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16 Answers

SuperMouse's avatar

Yep, left my husband. I felt relieved afterward. So far I am getting what I thought I would get. I am also happier so far. Only time will tell if it was worth it. I say that mostly because I hope it doesn’t have a destructive, horrible impact on my children.

tinyfaery's avatar

I chose to follow my heart and marry the person I loved. It caused a lot of people a lot of pain, including the guy I was with for four years before I met my wife. I don’t feel bad about it at all. I have no shame about being selfish. There is no non-selfish act. Some people just can’t admit that. I have no problem doing so.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I came out of the closet to live honestly and openly gay. It was a shock to my mother and still bothers her many years later.

It was one of the best things I’ve ever done and has given me much freedom.

marinelife's avatar

Yes, I moved in with my boyfriend. It caused me parents unhappiness, but it was the right thing for me to do at the time.

Berserker's avatar

I’m admittedly selfish and insensitive towards people around me, but because of this I never really get close to much of anyone so whatever I do probably doesn’t affect them much.
I’m sure it’s happened before, although I can’t pinpoint any precise examples.

BoBo1946's avatar

Being selfish got this guy in trouble!

A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and aid, “For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.”

“Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband,” said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and – abracadabra! – two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.

Now it was the husband’s turn. He thought for a moment and said, “Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so I’m sorry, my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me”.

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish… So the fairy made a circle with her magic stick, and -abracadabra! – the husband became 92 years old.

Bluefreedom's avatar

I married my first wife, which was disastrous for me in the long run, and this greatly distressed my family, relatives, and friends. They all tried to warn me beforehand but I was in love and I was stupid but I did end up learning some good lessons from that relationship.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Yes, I got my tubes tied some time back and upset my mother, grandmother and at that time in my life, my ex mother-in-law.

TLRobinson's avatar

I did as @SuperMouse stated; I left my husband. Mostly everyone said I wa wrong, foolish and selfish because of my children, it was a decision I was willing to take. I didn’t want them to think disrespect and infidelity was normal in a relationship.

It’s been almost three years since then. He’s remarried, to someone who will look up to him. My children, especiallyy youngest, still have their moments of wanting us all back together as a “happy family”. Have I had any regrets? Not about leaving him, but about my children’s pain. But even with that, I’m proud of myself. Proud I am building a legacy of strength and self love for my children to see.

After 18 years of marriage, I never thought I would be “here”, at this place in my life. it’s peaceful and drama free, I like it! And I love me even more! Good luck @Supermouse!

susanc's avatar

Married my first husband, freaking out my mother; divorced same husband, freaking out my father. You can’t please everybody.

Trillian's avatar

I guess leaving my SO was selfish according to some because he’s depressed, bipolar, and a few other things. There have been those who have said that depressed people deliberately push people away with whom they are close, and that I should stick with him because he needs me. I was unhappy for a long time and felt guilty and sad, remembering times that were good, etc.
But you know what? It was the right thing to do. Even if he’s off the drugs now, he really doesn’t love me, he is an emotion manipulator. This, in my book, makes him a sociopath. He can use somebody else or take a flyin’ fuck in a rolling doughnut. I feel a thousand times better about my decision, and anybody who still thinks I should have stayed with that can do the same thing..

evandad's avatar

I bought hot sauce for my scrambled eggs even though my son hates it.

phil196662's avatar

Never have done it but have been/ am currently on the wrong end of this very issue with my family…

ChaosCross's avatar

Sure, it’s called selfishness.

babaji's avatar

this is hard to talk about and embarrassing and i talk to her every day in my heart to say i’m sorry.
when i was discharged from the Navy a long time ago, very young, very 21.
Discharged a day early and took the taxi to where i was supposed to meet my sweetheart that next day. we had been writing each other for three years.
Well the taxi drove by her parents house and she was out front cutting the grass,
and i freaked…,don’t know what happened, just didn’t feel what i thought i had been feeling…
and i was petrified….saw her and she didn’t see me and i told the taxi driver to keep driving….
not a day goes by that i don’t feel sad sorry for this.

Sophief's avatar

Absolutely not. I am not a selfish person at all. I come at the bottom of my list.

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