Social Question

Oxymoron's avatar

How much (percent) of a relationship is based around sex, to you?

Asked by Oxymoron (1239points) February 14th, 2010

I only mean in serious long term relationships, nothing like a one night stand or anything. Thanks!

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

33 Answers

rangerr's avatar

I hate the idea of a relationship being based around sex at all.

zebter's avatar

Sex is a must and right near the top in most all relationships. I would say well above 50%. I know it has the been issues that has caused my relationship problems the most. Money is Second.

Oxymoron's avatar

@rangerr – Well I mean, all relationships have a sexual side to them. It’s impossible to be in a long term relationship hand have no sexual side at all. I agree with you though.

Oxymoron's avatar

@zebter – I agree. I also think it plays a huge role in a relationship.

zebter's avatar

My issue is I did not really want sex a lot in the earlier part of our relationship. Partly it may have been because I was prego every couple years and was tired a lot from taking care of kids.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

I question how good a relationship can be that is “based” on sex. But I know that many are (including some of my own). I like sex for dessert, and I like a lot of dessert.

DominicX's avatar


Well, not impossible, but unlikely. I for one see nothing wrong with sex being an integral part of a relationship. It is. Intimacy is important in a relationship.

I think people are just taking issue with the word “based”.

dpworkin's avatar

I went 7 years in a marriage once with no sex. It sucked, but was not a good enough reason to break up a marriage with children in my opinion.

ucme's avatar

69% sounds divine to me.

Cruiser's avatar

Sex should be the icing on the cake of life. Sex no matter how good it is will not allow you to enjoy a walk in the woods together or quiet times just smiling holding hands…or making plans for that next great vacation or road trip. Nope great sex will not pay the bills or do the chores or help carry the load of a busy work week. Only love, care and understanding will and those 3 things will help create the desire to lock the door and get crazy not the other way around.

zebter's avatar

@Cruiser now that’s what I am talking about..

janbb's avatar

In a long term relaltionship, its importance waxes and wanes; not necessarily consistently in a downward trajectory.

slick44's avatar

There is no right or wrong answer here, Everyone is different.

definitive's avatar

The answer to that question is dependent on individual sex drive and the physical attraction between couples.

I was previously in a relationship for many years and sex was never high on the agenda. I was never really physically attracted to my partner, but we had a very comfortable amicable relationship.

However, I’ve discovered sex with my SO and it is fantastic. I’m very much physically attracted to him, and I have ‘feelings’ whilst having sex that I haven’t experienced before.

Although I now think that sex is an important factor in a relationship…I think you also
need to have other ingredients like total communication, comfortableness, have fun and keep the relationship alive…free from complacency.

rangerr's avatar

@Oxymoron It’s not impossible, but I understand what you’re saying. I’m not saying that intimacy isn’t important in a relationship, but I don’t think it should be the foundation of a relationship. Sex is cool and all, but there’s so much more to a relationship than that. Especially a long-term/“serious” one.

zebter's avatar

@rangerr I agree with you. When I was in my 20’s it was not high on my list. But once I turned 30 something changed and now it is something major that for me is a must.

nicobanks's avatar

A relationship? Even long-term, relationships are as different as the people involved. If someone were to tell me their long-term relationship was 100% based on sex, what’s it to me? Two things can be good yet entirely different from one another. As for my long-term relationship (my only one – my marriage), I would say the percentage is pretty low, maybe 20–40%.

missinghim's avatar

My relationship is about 25% based on sex,We dont really feel the need to do it all the time there are so many more things that can bring us closer together than sex…I mean its great dont get me wrong but sometimes all a girl or guy wants is to be held or cuddled or something around that line lol but seriously i know ALOT of girls that base their whole relationship on sex and end up having a new partner the next week…dont any of these people have morals or boundaries…guess their mommas didnt teach them nothing!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I would say 40%

Violet's avatar

10–15% (not by choice..)

knitfroggy's avatar

Maybe 5%. I love my husband and we have a decent sex life, but really, in the grand scheme of things, it’s really unimportant to my relationship.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I couldn’t put a percentage on it but it’s up there ;)

CaptainHarley's avatar

When you’re young, dumb, and full of… whatever, it’s about 60–80%. As you get older, you realize that sex is only going to last a short while, but living together is very time consuming. At my age now, soon to be 67, sex has become only about 10%. The reasons are many and varied, but the primary one is the realization that sex really SHOULD be less important than things like being best friends, having things you enjoy in common, supporting one anothers’ goals, and just simple affection for each other.

Tenpinmaster's avatar

Well the sex is meaningless unless the rest of your relationship is strong and you truly have love for your partner. I absolutely love making love with my partner but it’s not what makes up the underlying essence of our relationship. I can’t rate a percentage because although it is important that we show each other our physical need foe each other, its not something that can be rated. My physical need for her is overwhelming but i’d still love her no matter if we did it or not.

borderline_blonde's avatar

@CaptainHarley “sex is only going to last a short while” What?!?!? Well, way to be the Debbie Downer of my evening!! (jk ;)

Sex is incredibly important in my relationships, but I don’t let it run them, either. If there wasn’t that sexual rush at the beginning, it isn’t going to happen, period. But, sex does slow down over time, and things pop up in life where you’ll occasionally end up going a week or so without it in the relationship. At that point, you better hope there’s some other glue holding the relationship together, or else it’s going to blow (no pun intended). So, I guess it depends on when you ask me – if I’ve just started dating the guy, then sex is going to be 50% of it… a year down the line, more like 25%.

onesecondregrets's avatar

Sex is the devil. Why’d we have to be one of the few species that do it for pleasure, like really.

Sophief's avatar

I don’t have a percentage but sex is very very important to me.

DrC's avatar

@onesecondregrets Are you serious? Who did you wrong?

CyanoticWasp's avatar

@borderline_blonde I interpret what @CaptainHarley said about sex only lasting a short time to mean (for me, anyway) that instead of staying up “all night” getting it on, now it’s no more than 2–3 hours, tops, and probably not more than 5 times a week. I need to stay awake for some of my meetings during the day; earlier in life I wasn’t in meetings, and I could be moving or doing something else to stay awake.

Maybe that’s just me.

onesecondregrets's avatar

I like sex, I do as any other person might. I just have a multitude of anxieties and issues with it. I did myself wrong, a lot of bad choices and even before that I was molested by my older brother’s friend when I was younger. I was raped two years ago and I haven’t bounced back to normal since that. I’m just scared of it, of guys, of myself.

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