Social Question

Oxymoron's avatar

In my opionion, the only people who truly hate Valentines Day are the ones who are single, do you agree?

Asked by Oxymoron (1239points) February 14th, 2010

I always hear single people gripe about how horrible and stupid this day is. Not so much from the couples end (though there have been some). I’m just wondering if you agree with me on this one? Also, if you do this, why?

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45 Answers

gtreyger's avatar

Disagree. I believe that this is a hallmark holiday made up to boost sales in February. I don’t truly hate the holiday, but I could do just fine without it. And I am happily married and have been for some time!

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

I’m sure there’s other reasons people don’t like that day. My friend’s mother died on Valentine’s Day when he was a small child so he doesn’t like that day much.

Oxymoron's avatar

@Captain_Fantasy – I understand special cases such as that. I’m just talking about people that have no other reason that anyone can think of besides the fact that they’re single.

liliesndaisies's avatar

Disagree. I’m single and I don’t feel a thing.

jrpowell's avatar

I have a girlfriend. I hate it. Luckily she hates it too. We just went out for dinner. Nothing special.

Dan_DeColumna's avatar

Plenty of couples hate valentines day. No one in their right mind would callously fling that attitude around while in a relationship though.

Girl: Happy valentines, Honey!
Guy: I hate valentines.

Is there any need for me to continue playing that scene out?

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

Why should single people get excited for Valentine’s Day?

Violet's avatar

I’m in a long term relationship, and I hate Valentines Day. I hate the commercialism of it all. Love doesn’t require cards, candy, flowers, or jewelry. Love should be celebrated everyday.

Tenpinmaster's avatar

Actually, its usually people who are also in miserable relationships. Yes, I didn’t really like it when I was single but I didn’t hate it either. I didn’t celebrate it at all when I didn’t have anybody to really celebrate it with. It was really bad though being expected to do something for valentines day with someone that you don’t want to be with. It can be fun though with someone that you love :-)

Tenpinmaster's avatar

@Violet and you are right about that :) well said

Violet's avatar

@Tenpinmaster thank you very much : ) (my boyfriend does like Valentine’s Day, so I gave him an extra special non-commercialized gift, if you know what I mean)
You are right about it being for people in bad relationships. It’s just an excuse for them to try and be happy and in love for a day.

Tenpinmaster's avatar

@Violet Those are the best kind :) It’s free and last longer then chocolates. lol

Sophief's avatar

I agree, when I was single I hated Valentines day. I was jealous of all the loves up couples and longed to be part of that.

ModernEpicurian's avatar

Well, I appreciate that the day is founded on commercialism to a large extent now, however I enjoy the day as it just makes that day feel that little bit more special and I see nothing wrong with that.

My flatmate, however, hate Valentines, but is in a loving relationship and they have decided not to celebrate the day. I am not sure as to whether this is mainly his doing though.

I think that most people are non-plussed about the day and can take it or leave it depending upon the relationship they are in. But alot of singles will hate the day, why wouldn’t they? If they indeed want to be in a relationship, then Valentines is a harsh reminder that they aren’t. When I was single I know I didn’t like it, but used that as a wakeup call and set up a date. And from that day I have loved her very much :-)

TheJoker's avatar

….. them & men, yes.

theichibun's avatar

Why would single people get excited? Because Valentine’s Day can be a day where that person who has a crush on you expresses that. And the candy.

Frankly, I’d be more excited about the candy.

ucme's avatar

Hate is a strong word, but when morons use it as a barometer for their love over yours, based purely on what they bought each other,well then a kalashnikov would come in handy.

poisonedantidote's avatar

no, me and my GF spent about 3 hours convincing our selves we did not have to get each other anything and that it was all made up to sell cards.

SABOTEUR's avatar


I look at Valentine’s Day as yet another opportunity for retailer’s to pick my pocket.

Retailer’s have created a situation where it’s become engrained in America’s consciousness that people are “supposed” to spend money on things they don’t need on specific days.

I got off light this year. Spent $50 on a flower arrangement my wife hasn’t looked twice at. A few years ago I spent a couple hundred dollars on gifts my wife never looked twice at…it’s never a surprise. What’s grating is, if I hadn’t bought her anything, I’d be in deep doo-doo.

You might be interested to know that the governor of Maryland has extended Valentine’s Day through February 21 to “provide relief” for citizens inconvenienced by the recent snow storm.

“Governor O’Malley…don’t do me any friggin’ favors!”

tedibear's avatar

I disagree. I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s Day. This is my second marriage, and while it’s certainly not all candlelight and roses, we do love each other. And if we need a specific day to celebrate that we’re in love and together, we have an anniversary for that. If you’re not showing your love on a regular basis, Valentine’s Day isn’t a “do-over” day to fix that.

I can’t say that I hate Valentine’s Day. I just dislike the commercialism and the way some people (primarily women) set themselves up for a romantic day and they end up disappointed. Oh, and you want to buy me a gift that shows you love me? Do it when you happen to see a gift like that. Don’t wait around for February 14th.

syz's avatar

Nope. My partner and I completely ignore this so called holiday.

lonelydragon's avatar

I disagree. Yes, V-Day is tough for singles, but it can also be bad for people in relationships because of the high expectations it creates.

Broken_Arrow's avatar

Completely disagree. How about the unhappily hitched ones, huh? Betchya they won’t be doing much celebrating either.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I disagree.I know some couples who don’t celebrate it at all.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

No, I read all kinds of coupled and married people gripe about it on fluther over the past few weeks. In my real life experience though and in my workplace I’ve been hearing people talk for weeks about plans they’re making or wanted to make, everybody exchanging gift ideas, only a few people poo pooed the day and they were single or recently broken up with. Me, I hadn’t celebrated in a long long time and was very excited to goof off with my partner. I did buy him a gift and had some ideas of fun for a day or evening together even though it turned out he hadn’t thought of the holiday at all and is normally a very romantic sort.

Cruiser's avatar

I would have to agree in that in order to truly hate the day you more than likely are divorced and or suffered a rotten breakup of your previous relationship. I know that day nauseated me for years after my divorce. Now I like it again!

OpryLeigh's avatar

I agree with @Violet, I am in a relationship and I don’t like the commercialism of it. I hate the fact that florists up the prices of flowers and restaurants are jam packed making service a lot slower. My boyfriend and I don’t celebrate it at all and I am pleased to say we don’t need a day to be all mushy to prove that we love each other.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

@Leanne1986: I understand about the commercialism of the day but at the same time, I think like this:

Flowers They die and even though you can buy them in any mini mart or grocery store for not a lot of money, they do feel a bit frivolous but I love them and would like to receive them as a treat on special occasions such as V-day or my birthday.

Chocolates Again, I rarely buy them for myself but I do love some particulars and reserve eating them as a treat, would love them as a special occasional gift which V-day gives license to.

Champagne I love it but only as an occasional treat- birthday and holidays.

Restaurants My partner takes us to some lovely ones but I don’t feel comfortable to order extravagant rich foods I love such as crab legs and lobster tails unless it’s a real rare treat. In my mind, birthdays and V-day are perfect for that.

Lingerie I lurve lingerie, always have and like nothing better than for my partner to want to enjoy undressing me to find gorgeous fabrics and designs to admire on me. Better yet would be to find he’d go through the effort to pick something out on his own he’d like to see on me in order to passionately remove later. V-day has always given partners a ticket to do that.

joehobbes's avatar

Actually, I enjoy Valentines day more now that I’m single.
Less pressure.

MissAnthrope's avatar

I pretty much hate all holidays except Halloween because I find them to be a lot of hullabaloo leading up to disappointment. I especially hate the commercialism and fakeness of Valentine’s Day, which was essentially made up so there was yet another reason to spend money. People should celebrate it all year round, not because stores tell you to.

Anyway, I generally always hate V-Day, single or not. I tend to be single when it comes around, but even the ones where I was in a relationship tended to be really disappointing.

tinyfaery's avatar

I’ve been married over 8 years. We have never celebrated VD. I do not hate VD, I just think it’s stupid and causes more harm than good.

Berserker's avatar

The idea that this holiday has been commercialized to death and doesn’t really encompass the intent behind its meaning as seen through most couples who don’t even give a shit probably doesn’t inspire much jealousy or resentment in single people.

Unless you’ve been traumatized at a young age because everyone in class got a hand made valentine card ecxept you.

If anything, hearing people getting it on next door at night while I’m busy being perceived as an Emo on Fluther bothers me a whole lot more.

Berserker's avatar

@Dan_DeColumna I was totawlly Gawth long before Emo’s were anything, but same shit different pile these days amirite?

Dan_DeColumna's avatar

@Symbeline ^^ notice the tilde? I was just making a bad joke. Thanks for not taking it offensively since you thought I was serious, though.

Berserker's avatar

@Dan_DeColumna No I got it lol. I was making a bad joke in return. Or trying to anyways. XD

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Emo is Goth for wussies

john65pennington's avatar

Ladydragon, good answer.

OpryLeigh's avatar

@hungryhungryhortence I love those things too but I appreciate flowers, chocolates, meals out and lingerie more when they are not bought on Valentines day. If my boyfriend gets me a surprise gift on any other day of the year it seems much more genuine to me and not done because that’s what you are supposed to do on Valentines day. Luckily we both feel the same way about it so there is no pressure but I do know some couples where one doesn’t care for Valentines day but gets the other something because they know there will be hell to pay if they don’t. That’s when gift buying is for all the wrong reasons.

Edit: I forgot to mention that I don’t really celebrate any “holidays”. Christmas is about the only one that I have anything to do with and that is only because my family enjoy it so much. I can take it or leave it. This may explain why I don’t bother with Valentines day.

Silhouette's avatar

They probably hate it more than most people in relationships and less than other people in relationships. I’d say the people who truly hate Valentines day are the people who are in relationships who don’t get prezzants. LOL

Electra's avatar

I’m very happily engaged, but I think Valentine’s Day is a negative social phenomenon: it’s a feature of a society that puts a premium on relationships and marriage to the detriment of people’s human potential and individuality; our society pushes people into gender roles and the one way to force people to remember gender roles and their demands and associations is to be pressured to join the relationship market.

Let’s face it—if you’re single, you’re a “loser,” you don’t have anyone, you’re considered alone and lonely, pathetic (whatever epithet you can think of—there are many that are used to shame people out of being single or at least out of being comfortably single); you’re only given credit for being a well adjusted member of society if you’re at least attempting to be in a relationship. And when you attempt to do this, all the delightful peer pressure related to gender roles come in—if you’re an intelligent woman, this is a lot of distressing peer pressure. Suddenly, you have to think before you speak; you have to try to appear to be much less intelligent than you are; you probably even have to lie about your degree status because it might make the boeotian that would make good arm candy feel uncomfortable about dating you. Suddenly, you’re in the position of having to choose between being an accomplished human being and being a woman who has “accomplished” being in a relationship (and yes, society heralds that as a great accomplishment).

So, for this reason, I hate Valentine’s Day—no one should have to become conscious of odious gender roles because our sexist culture puts such an emphasis on being paired off—precisely because being paired off makes us conform at least in part to these gender roles.

Do I love my fiance? Of course. Did I like my loving Valentine’s Day note from him this morning? Sure. But do I think that I should have to consider my life as revolving around this fact? No, definitely not.

So, while I’ve had a good Valentine’s Day, and while I’m lucky enough to have a man who doesn’t insist that I tie two thirds of my brain behind my back just to make it fair, I feel bad for people who do get a lot of negative social pressure because of holidays like Valentine’s Day.

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