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tata12's avatar

When no one believes in you, do you feel lonely or do you feel motivated by it and want to prove yourself?

Asked by tata12 (101points) February 16th, 2010

what will you do in this situation

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24 Answers

ucme's avatar

As long as you believe in yourself the rest will follow.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

More motivated than lonely.Why seek approval anyway?

Cruiser's avatar

I really never had that problem…I learned to succeed without approval or adulation at an early age and helped me be self employed for 16 years and now be top level exec I am still having to prove to myself I am doing my best.

Jack79's avatar

Both and it depends on the situation. I feel motivated originally, but sometimes it gets me down after a while.

TheJoker's avatar

I have absolutely no motivation at all, therefore if I’m not believed I tend to feel isolated.

CaptainHarley's avatar

Neither. I learned awhile ago to do things for my own reasons and not because someone else either wanted me to, or DIDN’T want me to. Behaving in reaction to someone else is essentially the same as doing exactly what they tell you to. There have been long periods in my life when no one believed in me and I’m still here, so I must have done something right, eh? : )

snowberry's avatar

It really helps if you know who you are as a person. At the core, what is your character? I lived for many years with people thinking I was mentally ill. It’s no fun. The truth is I was abused, and if you are not aware a person is being abused, their behavior can look pretty nutty.

My transformation came when I stopped looking to my abusers for confirmation of my own personal worth. Instead I found my self worth in Christ. False accusations are never any fun to deal with, but at least I can deal with it.

marinelife's avatar

I agree with @CaptainHarley. I don’t care whether anyone else believes in me or not. I only care what I believe.

SuperMouse's avatar

I hate to admit this, but early on in these types of situations I tend to buy into what others have to say about me. Then I spend some time of contemplating what it is they say I can’t do, and how I am going to attack whatever it is I want to make happen. In the end I force myself use their not believing in me as a motivator to git er dun!

Judi's avatar

I’m a “Words of affirmation” person. I do feel sad and lonely when I don’t feel appreciated. Lucky for me, my husband, kids and grand kids all know this and make sure I know they love and support me.

ArtiqueFox's avatar

Normally, I’m not conscience of that. Living would be pretty hard if I let people have that kind of power over me. My motivation really depends on how I feel that day…or how hight my “confidence level” is.

mowens's avatar

I usually laugh it off. If no one believes me it is their prerogative.

I am just ready to say I told you so later on.

Sophief's avatar

I have no motivation. If someone doesn’t believe me then that’s up to them, they obviously don’t know me very well.

wundayatta's avatar

Honestly, I’m not sure what happens. I do require a lot of outside support to keep on going, but then, I tend to get it. If I start not getting it, I quickly change so I can continue to be the kind of person others appreciate, at least, to some degree—enough anyway.

This is not to say that I do everything just to please others. Most people who know me will know that I am imaginative and I often see things in a different light than others. So they find me interesting, which is a different way of pleasing people than just toadying up to them.

I often do feel lonely, but that’s more because I don’t feel connected to people than because people don’t believe in me. If they were around, I think they would believe in me, whatever that means.

I also never really think of it as proving myself. Maybe a bit—like being useful—again by being as imaginative as is necessary. But also being able to make it possible or realistic—which is a big problem. The proof, though, is the work of a lifetime, and, no doubt, will never come. The Buddhists would say its the journey that is our focus, and that’s the only thing that makes sense to me, but, at the same time, it would be nice to prove to be useful for once. I mean, on a very large scale.

CMaz's avatar

I really do not care. As long as I am happy with the result.

CharlieGirl's avatar

I feel lonley when no one believes in me.I’ve been to the point of giving up my life for these people.I should have never compromized.I won’t give up though,so I keep getting up every day and trying my hardest to succeed.

nebule's avatar

I would get some new friends if no-one around me believed in me…

If no-one in the world at all believed in me I would probably rot away for a while in despair and dark thoughts that I am nothing and a wasteful use of space, degenerate, wilt and wander aimlessly, scared and afraid, down shadowy paths of doubt. However, eventually I would come up having found something from the earth of unconditional love and bloom into the most magnificent flower, reaching toward the light, sparkling, proud, triumphant, achieving all that I was meant for and more and leave everyone staring up, in awe, mouths agape at the sheer awesomeness and beauty they behold…and I would… beam

CaptainHarley's avatar


Don’t forget to define “success” for yourself, not let others define it for you. : )

YARNLADY's avatar

If it is about gathering evidence for proof, I would be motivated. If there’s no ‘evidence’ involved, I would simply move on.

candide's avatar

Firstly, I would never feel I needed to prove myself to anyone – you have to have enough self-confidence! Secondly, if it always feels like no one believes in you, you’re probably wrong, so just to prove yourself wrong, go out and find some toadies – that will boost your confidence!

CharlieGirl's avatar

Thank you @CaptainHarley).: @lynneblundell,I’ve been exactly there before,but sadly,I haven’t got to the flower part yet..

nebule's avatar

it comes…and goes…and comes back again….

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