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Sophief's avatar

Have you ever been threatened by a madman?

Asked by Sophief (6676points) February 16th, 2010

Have you ever been threatened by a man because you wouldn’t date him, someone who was respectable to everyone?

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23 Answers

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I have been threatened after I stopped dating him.

TheJoker's avatar

Umm, not because he wanted to date me, no. I was threatened, as a teen, to NOT date his daughter, but in reality it was probably fair, I was abit of a… well… criminal, gang member type back then.

Sophief's avatar

@TheJoker Criminal gang member, you?

Sophief's avatar

When I lived in my old town, and worked at the job I had then, we had a client that was Muslim, he was a nice man. He asked me out a few times but I said no, he sent me flowers, I still said no. He was a doctor and one day he called me and started telling me personal information about myself. Then he started following me. Then he said he wanted to take me to Iran to meet his parents, and to “meet” his brothers, then he sent me a letter of different ways to kill myself and then a picture of himself with explosives around him.

TheJoker's avatar

@Dibley Not the proudest period of my life. Only happened because of the circumstances we were in when we moved back from Spain, in my school it really was a case of hit first & hit hardest.

Sophief's avatar

@TheJoker So your a bit of a tough guy?

TheJoker's avatar

@Dibley Only when I have to be… Given the option I’d far rather keep things quiet & safe.

Cruiser's avatar

A madman no, a psycho crazy she-bitch then very soon to be ex-wife who just maced me…yes!

Sophief's avatar

@Cruiser The joy of divorce!

Cruiser's avatar

@Dibley Yes a Joy Joy moment in my life.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@Dibley I hope you reported him to the police. I’m assuming that the UK has anti-stalking laws.

Sophief's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land I didn’t report him, I worked in Solicitors and I told my boss and he got him signed off from ever being a doctor in this country again.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@Dibley Excellent! That probably hurt him worse than any jail term.

I’ve been attacked by individuals of questionable sanity, but not under the conditions given in the question.

candide's avatar

yes; I find that the best – and only – way to handle these madmen is to completely ignore them because any attention from you, good or bad, is what they want. They will only get the message when you just absolutely act as if they do not exist.

TheJoker's avatar

@candide I don’t know, personally I prefer an approach involving devastating violence & fear. There are lots of stalking victims who found the ignore them method coming up short. Believe me, if someone thinks they’re about to die, they never come back for seconds.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Everyone should have a copy of this book by Gavin De Becker, The Gift of Fear. He protects celebrities like Madonna from mad stalker types.

In the book, he explains the difference between anxiety, which is never very helpful, and real fear, which is a necessary tool for self-preservation; he also teaches about how one can come to trust oneself, especially for women, as we are taught to be nice, which can override that natural instinct for self-protection. He talks a lot about the murder of Rebecca Shaefer, a young US TV actress who was murdered in her own doorway by a mad stalker back in the 80s.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I agree with @TheJoker on this. First-hand experience in dealing with stalkers (on behalf of others) has shown me that they fear immediate physical violence far more than any restraining order. Most of the stalkers I’ve had to deal with already had restraining orders against them in other states, unenforceable without new court action in the state the victim was currently residing. I would simply let him know that I had identified him and that bad things would happen to him if he was seen near the shelter or anywhere near the lady. I’ve not had to actually use violence against a stalker, yet.

TheJoker's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land Thanks for the support, & for the record, I’ve only ever had to use the threat myself. It’s just the way the threat is delivered, & I’m highly theatrical (not in a Broadway sort of way).

CharlieGirl's avatar

Oh yes.A time or two actually.

Silhouette's avatar

Ive been threatened by a mad woman but it wasn’t because I wouldn’t date her. It was because I didn’t buy her bullshit and made no bones about it. She’s really mad now. :o)

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@TheJoker I’m not theatrical, just large. I also make sure my jacket is open so he can see the shoulder holster :^)

TheJoker's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land Hahahaha, now thats pure class!

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