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shego's avatar

Do you tell your SO you love them because you do, or because they say it?

Asked by shego (11083points) February 16th, 2010 from iPhone

Well, I was thinking about my last relationship, and I was thinking, did I truely love him? Well, then I started thinking did I tell him I loved him because I did, or was it just convient to tell him that.
What do you do, or have just said it because it was convient?

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25 Answers

davidbetterman's avatar

Do you not love your SOs anyway?

Do you really just say you love them to be expedient?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Both – we do it often enough that we say it just because or just because the other one has said it or because we’re going to sleep and we thank each other for love and babies and the best family in the world.

Likeradar's avatar

I started telling him because I do. He said it weeks before I did.

I think it’s fucked up and unfair to all parties to say “I love you” if you don’t.

cookieman's avatar

I say it because I mean it because, frankly, my wife rarely says it. In response to me, she almost always says, “Me too”.

phil196662's avatar

my wife says I love you and I lean in, grab her and kiss her ravenously… I tell her I love her and she leans in and gives me a peck but grabs my balls

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@phil196662 uhh…well, thanks for that

ucme's avatar

Well err because I do.I’m not a fucking parrott.

wundayatta's avatar

Because it makes her feel good.

phil196662's avatar

I call it openly showing affection

tedibear's avatar

I say it because I mean it. If he says it first, I say it back, but I still mean it just as much.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Both, but mostly I point out things she is or does that cause me to love and appreciate her. I do it often and because I mean it.

veronasgirl's avatar

I told my boyfriend I loved him when I felt it, I was just lucky enough that he feels the same way about me.

Tenpinmaster's avatar

Well, I will never say it to someone that I don’t mean it. But I think I did be in past relationships because that’s what I felt was expected for me to say although I didn’t really understand what love was. What’s fascinating is that when I told my girlfriend now that I loved her I truly felt what that was. I think for the first time, I felt something that wasn’t there before in previous relationships. Something powerful, and something beautiful. I tell her all the time that I love her because I want her in every way possible. When she told me how she felt it was the most awesome feeling I have ever had and it still gives me a warm, tingly feeling every time she tells me that.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Because I do. In fact, I tried to keep a lid on saying it in order not to freak him out but I got caught mumbling in half sleep one night and he asked me about it after saying it to me.

Judi's avatar

After almost 20 years of marriage I love him more now than ever. I tell him because I mean it several times a day!! We have to fight to see who gets to say it first.

YARNLADY's avatar

In our house, just a ‘special smile’ across the room says “I love you”, after being married 35 years, it’s not necessary to say out loud.

srmorgan's avatar

I tell her that I love her every morning, just in case, so that that is the last thing she hears from me in the morning when one of us leaves for work.

I say it to her more than she says it to me, that is our nature. After 30 years of living together and being married, you’d think that it need not be said repeatedly, but it makes me feel good to say it and it makes her feel happy to hear it, so why not?

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

@srmorgan: Over the years I’ve figured out nothing is guaranteed so I really like the idea of people affirming their love as they go to sleep and then when parting. :)

srmorgan's avatar


Two years ago I blacked out in a convenience store and came to about twenty seconds later. Slow heartbeat. But when you come close to confronting your own mortality you are reminded of the fragility of life. So I don’t want either of us to leave the house without someone reaffirming what we know exists and has existed for half our lives.


tinyfaery's avatar

Both. I say it when I’m in the moment and I say it as a response when she says it, just out of hand. I always love her.

avengerscion's avatar

current relationship – say it when he does – don’t think either of us really means it anymore

Poser's avatar

I say it so she’ll sleep with me.

After she sleeps with me I love her.

Sophief's avatar

I can’t say those words if I don’t mean them. My boyfriend hasn’t said it to me and I say it often, because I feel it and I want to say it.

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