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kelmo's avatar

How to give my girlfriend emotional support?

Asked by kelmo (55points) February 19th, 2010

My girlfriend and I were on a break for a month and that was the longest month ever. Just recently we started working things out with each other and she mentioned that she wants me to take control of things and take care of her emotionally. If anyone can help how do I take care of her emotionally? I really want this to work out with her because I love her so much I can’t picture my life without her. Please help..

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10 Answers

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Take care of her emotionally??I will make the pie that you will launch at her face for saying that!WTH?!

Ivy's avatar

Ask her what she means, because taking care of another’s emotions is NOT your responsibility.

Likeradar's avatar

So confused. What the hell does that even mean? Is she feeling like you don’t care about her feelings?

limeaide's avatar

@everyone nothing to add here just wanted to say great answers say I enjoyed reading each of your answers.

mrentropy's avatar

Perhaps I was a little terse in my answer.

This doesn’t sound healthy to me at all. She wants you to “take care of everything.” This sounds like she wants no responsibility at all. I’m not sure what she means, exactly. Does she want you to, you know, cook meals, plan all outings, pay all bills, wash the dishes, and whatever? As in, literally, everything? What will she be doing in the meantime?

To “take care of her emotionally” sends up so many red flags and warning flares that I find it hard to find a place to start. It sounds to me like you’re involved with someone who may be a little flaky, psychologically speaking.

Maybe you love her. But I’m with someone who wants me to do everything (right down to making phone calls for her while I’m work even though she can easily do it) and accuses me of not taking care of her emotionally, yet she can’t tell me what that means. And believe me, there’s nothing that I don’t do.

In all honesty, I’m ready to blow my brains out. I would do it right now if I had a gun and a bullet. So my honest advice is to distance yourself. Find out just what the hell she means. And be ready to just drop her. Leave.

kelmo's avatar

Leaving her is one thing that I can never do I love her too much to just let her go. I’m thinking what she wants is for me to show her that I love her. She knows very well that I can’t support the both of us on my paycheck we have a lot of bills. We live together and I make sure that I wash all of our clothes, I put our clothes up once it’s clean, I iron her work clothes and I will also clean the house and wash the dishes. Don’t get me wrong she does this also. What she tells me she wants is for me to treat her like she is the only one in the world which I think I do treat her like that. We have been together for so many years our intimacy and romance isn’t the same as before.

mrentropy's avatar

@kelmo This really doesn’t sound healthy.

You sound like me and that worries me. She wants you to treat her the way you already do, but evidently that’s not enough. She may be setting you up for failure. And using you along the way because you’re not going to leave her so she can treat you any way she likes.

I spent part of my day today looking for a psychologist. I question why I’m in this relationship when I have come to hate it so much. I’m thinking you may want to keep the same avenue open for yourself.

Likeradar's avatar

Sounds to me like she’s insecure, or is playing princess games with you. Are you really asking us for more ways to kiss her ass?

I’m a woman, and I have a long relationship with a man. I don’t understand why anyone would want to be treated like “she is the only one in the world.” It’s important to feel valued, respected, and all that. But I think your lady friend is asking for some strange things. If you’re cool with it though, have fun.

mrentropy's avatar

How did this month long break come about? Who put forth the idea?

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