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anther101's avatar

What to do when you feel useless?

Asked by anther101 (14points) February 19th, 2010

I just feel useless in life, I don’t know why. All my friends are living great lives; they all have boyfriends, I just want to stay single and live my life because I’m a very independent person. So its my own decision but I’ve just been depressed lately I just have myself and no one else to talk to. I don’t really want to talk to my friends about it, they really don’t help much. What should I do? Should I still live my life while I’m young and wait till I’m older for a relationship. I know its my choice, but what would you do? Please don’t be rude about it

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17 Answers

faye's avatar

Too little info. How old are you, job, college, ever been treated for a mental condition? Where do you live? Could you have a pet? Do you have family close?

Rarebear's avatar

I recommend therapy.

Cruiser's avatar

Live your life as you see fit…embrace the people that follow you path….don’t worry about much else and you will be rewarded with the taste of what life is all about.

Haleth's avatar

Find someone to talk to, even if it isn’t your friends. When you’re feeling depressed, and it sounds like you have symptoms of depression, it can feel like there’s nobody in the world that you can talk to. Even if you can’t talk about this, try to open about something to someone you can trust, like a relative, a mentor, or a psychiatrist. Find something engaging to do that you can get really into, exercise, eat healthy, and get plenty of daylight. If you can start doing this stuff one step at a time, you’ll be able to take a more objective look at your situation. It’s really normal not to have a boyfriend and to be independent.

lillycoyote's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Wow RealEyes! That’s a plan right there, isn’t it? :)

whatthefluther's avatar

Screw everyone else’s expectations regarding relationships, etc.. The key is understanding what is causing your depression and fixing it. See ya…..Gary/wtf

trogdor_87's avatar

Do something new and exciting, like cliff diving!

susanc's avatar

Yes, too little info. Who do you live with? What do you like to do? Are you doing it?
In the past, has anyone ever suggested you’ve been helpful or valuable to them? When?
What was that like for you? etc. Tell us, darlin, we’re here to listen. And don’t be scared
by all these armchair psychologists telling you you’re depressed. They don’t know. It’s irresponsible for them to say this. After we know more, we’ll decide.

Ria777's avatar

@Haleth: It’s really normal not to have a boyfriend and to be independent.

life has enough hardships without worrying about social norms.

anyway @anther101, just because your friends act a particular way doesn’t mean you have to do it. revel in your difference. follow your instincts and do what satisfies you. pay attention to your intuition. none of us can tell you what you really want. only you can know.

sounds like you could use friends with more qualities like your own. if you feel it wouldn’t do you any good to talk about it, that sounds like a problem right there. I don’t know the solution other than to move to a place more suited to your personality. I say that because I can’t think of any other solution to my own similar problem where I don’t feel that I relate to my social circle very well.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

Wanting to remain single and not form close attachments is not weird. Many people are that way. It’s nothing to get depressed over. It’s your life, live it any way you choose; anything except harming another person is a perfectly valid lifestyle.

Marva's avatar

It seems to me like you are presenting two , even three issues here, and it might be that your confusion as to wheter they are related is the real problem:
1/ you say you don’t have a boyfriend, which you are complete with, but,
2/ you have no one to talk to, mainly because your friends are people who you don’t feel you want to talk with about certain things in your life. (And if so maybe you would like to make new friends instead of a new realtionship), and
3/ you have been depressed lately, (and looking at your happy friends you thought maybe the partnership issue is the one bothering you).

Being depressed can have so many reasons, hanging in the wrong society and not having someone to talk to can be one of them, not beeing able to share love can be one, but if you still feel complete with your choice (do you?) than it probably isn’t it. there are so many other reasons, such as holding certain parts of you/ desires / capabilities and talents back and not following them through, bordom of work or life
What do you really think you are depressed about?

read's avatar

i’ll do the same like you,cause i have the same problem:(
i want to say, always be you:]

jjjaaammmaaalll's avatar

dont feel like that. feel happy think of other pople and if you think of other pople to much think of your self go out do something good you can be riligus and stuff and if you dont wont any one in your live thats your chose . i’m just trying to help ;)

jjjaaammmaaalll's avatar

hi i’m 18 and i know how easy it is to get mad , sad , and useless but who cares of about what other pople think. pluse dont feel like that feel like you matter i live feel positiv not negitiv . if you have a mean friend dont hang out with them. i’m just trying to help ;)

allisonweissfan's avatar

I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. I am only sixteen but I feel this very same way and nothing has helped me.. I often find myself alone with feelings like nobody understands me. I absolutely do not care what anyone thinks about me and I don’t feel the need to want to fit in so that isn’t the problem with me but I still haven’t figured it out. But what I think helps me is music. I know it sounds cliche but I am serious letting your feelings out in an artistic form really does help a little bit like paint, sculpt, write poetry, listen to music. Personally, what I do is write music and it is an amazing vent when no one else will listen and when you are done you feel like you have accomplished something.
I really hope this helps.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

Don’t fall into an envy trap. That is, don’t imagine that other people who have certain things that you do not feel better ‘because they have that’. Quite often, for example, people in relationships try to put a good face on things… and are miserable when they are alone together. You just don’t know. You can’t know.

All you can know for certain is how you feel. So if you allow yourself to feel good about things (the weather is nice; you have your health—I hope; you’re eating well, I suppose, and you have a place to live and useful and fun things to do, etc.). Be happy for what you do have and the choices you are making… or do other things and make other choices.

On the other hand, since you said you feel “useless”, then perhaps you really do need to get out (in the world) more and find a way to be useful. Even working and studying for now “in order to be useful later” is a good ambition and a worthwhile use of your time.

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