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Kelci33's avatar

Am I terrible for cheating on my boyfriend?

Asked by Kelci33 (165points) February 21st, 2010 from iPhone

It’s not that I feel ok with cheating. I’d be so upset if someone I care about cheated on me. But he’s in collegefar away. We hardly talk.

And I cheated on him with my ex of 3 years to whom I was engaged to.

I don’t know what to do. We have fun when we are together, but we are seldom together. ”/

And I know were in the process of breaking up. I just don’t kbow how to do it.

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32 Answers

squidcake's avatar

The more responsible thing would have been to grow the balls to break up with him before you started screwing around.

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

So now the question is “what will make this right?” You know it wasn’t a good thing.

Kelci33's avatar

Well I didn’t skrew around. Yeah I kissed the ex, but it’s more the fact of emotionally cheating.

squidcake's avatar

My answer still stands.

Kelci33's avatar

This is true. But I really do care about my boyfriend. But as a friend. We were friends first. Idk how to break up with him.

And I sadly do have hope for the ex ”/ I just don’t want to go back to him. Which is another reason no to break up with the boyfriend.

semblance's avatar

Terrible? No. You said the guy was your boyfriend, not your spouse and not even your fiance, apparently. However, it was obviously not a good thing for you to do because now you feel bad about it. If you don’t want to be committed to the far away guy, you ought to tell him so and move on.

I know you are stressed out about this, but really, your problems are minor compared to what many other people are dealing with. You just need to deal with this responsibly.

SeventhSense's avatar

Who knows. If your looking for absolution you can only give that to yourself and you have to be honest whatever the deal is.

edit: Sounds like you’ve already drifted apart anyway.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

yes. the action is terrible. stop doing it.

Kelci33's avatar

Very true. I’m glad I can finallllyyyy talk about this.

I’m truly embarassed with my actions and will not talk about this with anyone that I really know.

I just needed clairity and apericate the help. Thanks.

Syger's avatar

At least you didn’t pretend you were pregnant then pretend to have a miscarrage to go to an anime con with another friend while he was stuck 300 miles away puking from crying so much, then lie to him about everything again when he learn the truth. :o

I’m very bitter tonight (sorry), but you need to approach him. It infuriates me how dishonest my partner has been about this (She did the pregnancy thing with 3 other guys, and cheat on me with at least one of them ((that I know of)) not even a week before I went there over valentine’s day weekend to mourn the death of our supposed daughter with her.) Honestly approach him ASAP and tell him what you’ve done. It will be hard but there will be hell to pay if he finds out otherwise. Best of luck to you; at least you recognize your wrongdoings and are willing to admit them to someone.

frigate1985's avatar

In my, strictly my, view, Ithink it’s terrible to cheat :/

Kelci33's avatar

Syger! That is terrible! I’m more than sorry to hear that. :(

and speaking of valentines day… Reason 47292 to break up with my boyfriend is that we didn’t go out or do anything for vday. Which would have been ok if he didn’t tell me we had dinner reservations… And I didn’t spend the entire day getting ready. Lol.

I’m sorry about your gf and your troubles. I am going to call my guy and teak up with him now. ”/ I would do it in person, but like I said, he’s hours away.

I doubt he’ll answer lolllllll

Grisaille's avatar

Yes, you are.

SeventhSense's avatar

You’re in college have fun.
call me

DarkScribe's avatar

No, in fact there are tens of thousands of guys out there who spend their lives looking for girls like you. They’ll think that you are great.

Kelci33's avatar

Lol I might take you up on that!
And exactly I’m in college and So is he. But, he is a brain. ALL he does is school work.

Ok ok ok. It’s over.

Alll my single ladiessss!!!

borderline_blonde's avatar

“And I sadly do have hope for the ex ”/ I just don’t want to go back to him. Which is another reason no to break up with the boyfriend.”

Why do you have to go back to your ex just because you break up with your current? For one, there’s nothing wrong with being single, and if you’re unhappy with both of them (which it sounds like you are), then it’s even more okay to be single. Secondly, it’s not exactly fair to drag your current bf through the mud just because you can’t stand the idea of being solo or going back to your ex in desperation. It’s not really fair on you, either.

lillycoyote's avatar

I don’t think that you’re terrible but it would have been better, when you realized that the long distance relationship probably wasn’t working, that you broke it off with him first. Too late for that though. You should let him loose, formalize the break up. Who knows what he’s doing off at college.

davidbetterman's avatar

Yes. You are terrible. Go eat some ice cream for your punishment.

TexasDude's avatar


The irony of your avatar is hilarious.

YARNLADY's avatar

I don’t even understand the whole concept. If you don’t have an exclusive relationship, how can there be any such thing as ‘cheating’? If you did have an exclusive relationship, it’s over anyway, and there isn’t any cheating, anyway, because it’s no longer ‘exclusive’, is it?

YoH's avatar

You ask if you’re terrible. No, but what you did wasn’t good. I have a feeling you’re better than that. After all,you said you wouldn’t like it done to you. It’s good common life sense to finish the book before looking at another.

tb1570's avatar

You are not terrible, but cheating is. So just break up and get it over with.

MrBr00ks's avatar

you dont sound sincere in the least saying that you are feeling bad for what you’ve done, and that makes you terrible.

thriftymaid's avatar

Relationship’s over. Tell him and live your life honestly.

judochop's avatar

You are not a terrible person, you’ve just made a mistake. Take care of your mistake and do what’s right. You already know the answer to all the questions you are going to ask in here. Split with the long distance boy. I wouldn’t even bother telling him you kissed another man if you wanted it to be over before you did it. Don’t add insult to injury. One question for you though…. Does your ex know of your current boyfriend? If so, I’d be careful with him to. No man should ever tread water in another mans pool unless he’s been invited by the couple to do so. It speaks volumes of his character and yours. Pick up the pieces and get on with the rest of your college mistakes and experiments. They go by super fast. Best of fortune and luck to you. You’re about to step on some hearts. I hope you’ve got a nice pair of boots.

TheJoker's avatar

Well, the better way to go about it would have been to break-up first. However, you’re only human & we all have moments of weakness… & considering you’re going to break-up anyway, I wouldn’t be too hard on urself.

OpryLeigh's avatar

Shit happens. You did something that you know is wrong but that doesn’t necessary make you a terrible person. It doesn’t sound like you do this type of thing on a regular basis. It does sound like breaking up with your boyfriend was the right thing to do though.

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