How does your significant other behave with respect to your body?

I don’t have a significant other, but I don’t think I have had complaints that I can recall. I am suddenly in a wonderful space at the moment in that what others think of my body are meaningless to me. I am becoming aware of being a feeling being, as opposed to a physical being.

My SO considers my body to be mine. But he knows I willingly share it all with him. I love being touched by him, and he knows it. (My SO is Arisztid, by the way)

He loves my body. He’s always touching and caressing me despite the fact that I’m not in the best of shape.

I have a realistic body image. I know I used to be in excellent shape, and now I’m not. I’m no where near fat, and still have a very attractive figure. My own standards influence my body image.

I have a good body image and don’t get complaints.It wouldn’t affect my opinion of myself if I did.

Currently, I get nothing. We’re working on that! If you really want to know, follow my profile. I’ve garnered a few compliments in the past regarding specific parts, but nothing general.

Has it affected my body image? Yes. Way more than it should. I’m trying! I’m trying!

Compliments – and it does wonders. All lies.

My so loves everthing about my body, despite what I personally think. He praises me, and tells me that I don’t need to change. But he also wants me to be happy, and healthy, and is willing to travel the journey with me, so we both can get into better shape.

My significant other is my left hand. We get along very well. ;-)

As I pat myself on the back. (my hand cant talk)

Oh body image. I was thinking of all the ways she could use my body and the things she could do to me. But I’m ok with my body image.

My husband is very supportive. I used to complain about the stretch marks on my belly, and my husband would tell me that they are happy reminders of me carrying his children. He appreciated the energy that I had when I was in great shape and he appreciates me now with the extra 25 that I am carrying around. He has never had a negative comment to say about my body.

As much as he compliments me and tells me that he loves me however I am, I know that I feel better when I am fit. Being healthy and having that energy that comes with regular exercise is what influences my body image.

Positively satisfying.

Respectfully.

She loves my body. I used to be quite thin, and now, after putting on a few lbs (my body is still toned, though), I’ve now got me some hips! =) She loves them! She certainly pays me a lot of compliments, which makes me feel great (sexy, in fact).

Honestly, for me, what’s important is how I feel physically. When I’m out of shape and get winded easily, that bothers me more than how my body looks.

I usually don’t talk to people about this because I know the reaction it usually gets.

Right before I met the boy, I was getting over a phase where I really watched what I ate and worked out a lot and was in amazing, super hot shape. I got my head on straight, stopped the nonsense and met the boy 6 months later. I was still in pretty damn good shape.

My guy likes thin. It’s what he’s attracted to. He doesn’t dislike heavy people as people, but he has no desire to be intimate with them. And I think that’s fine.

I’ve gained almost 20 lbs since we’ve been together. I like my body way less than I did a few years ago, and he does too.

I’m doing a diet program and working out with his financial and emotional support. In one way I’m jealous of women who are with guys who think their partner’s body is amazing and perfect no matter what. But I also recognize that my guy is honest and has been from the beginning, and I definitley appreciate that. I would probably be very upset about his feelings if I didn’t also like my body better before.

My SO is my left hand. She doesn’t give me compliments, per se. But she shows me how she feels, and has never complained.

I guess that I should add that I struggle with my body image and have never felt like I’m pretty (at best, I feel plain, I guess, and I’ve never been completely satisfied with my weight). But he is such a person that I have never felt self-conscious because of him and can strut around naked in front of him unabashedly.

I am in pretty good shape for my age and do get compliments and it is nice to hear them.

She worships my temple just like I expect her to.~

I can comment on this now…..as it is” former significant other”

I was invisible. There were never any comments one way or another. If I looked smashing, no comment. If I looked awful no comment.

When we met, I was a big girl. He fell in love with me. Wasn’t an issue. I lost half my body weight…and no comment. I thought I might as well put a paper bag over my head and call it a day. I could have swung on chandeliers, won the Miss Gorgeous contest, written a Pulitzer-prize winning novel and saved a country from nuclear annihilation…and there still would not have been any acknowledgement of me.

I went home, finally to visit after a few years….and was shocked that others were shocked at how great I looked. It was as if my whole body-image had been tainted by how he reacted to me. I ran into an old boyfriend one day and he did not recognize me. I had to introduce myself and we chatted a bit (he was with his wife) and afterwards went on my merry way.

Later that day, my best friend called me and said that she had run into my old boyfriend after he had seen me and he had said, “She looks like she is in her twenties…she looks fantastic!”

I realized that I was with a man who just could never, ever cherish or compliment or care for a woman in any way that was nurturing and life-affirming. He was a narcissist…seriously…he was. And there is no room for anyone else in the life of a narcissist.

I’ve realized that how you look and feel….and really up to oneself. You have to find the moxie to just know that beauty is NOT in the eye of the beholder….it is in YOU.

As Bette Midler sings (in “Bathhouse Bette” album) and which I play full blast when I need a pick-me-up:

*“That’s it, baby! When you got it, flaunt it, flaunt it!”

“This is the Divine Miss M
and I’m here to share with you some rare
and stimulating insight into my cosmic fabulosity.
It’s really very simple. I simply believe with all my heart:”

I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, dammit!
I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, dammit!
I’m beautiful, so beautiful, I’m beautiful, dammit!
I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, dammit!

“Go away, little girl,” they used to say.
“Hey, you’re too fat, baby, you can’t play.”
“Hold on, miss thing, what you trying to do?
You know you’re too wack to be in our school.”

Too wack, too smart, too fast, too fine,
too loud, too tough, too too divine.
I said you don’t belong. You don’t belong.
Too loud, too big, too much to bear,
too bold, too brash, too prone to swear.
I heard that song for much too long.

Ain’t this my sun? Ain’t this my moon?
Ain’t this my world to be who I choose?
Ain’t this my song? Ain’t this my movie?
Ain’t this my world? I know I can do it.

I’m not too short, I’m not too tall,
I’m not too big, I’m not too small.
Ooh, don’t lemme start lovin’ myself!
Ooh, don’t lemme start lovin’ myself!
I’m not too white, I’m not too black,
I’m not too this, I’m not too that.
Ooh, don’t lemme start lovin’ myself!
Ooh, don’t lemme start lovin’ myself!

I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, dammit!
I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful, dammit!

It’s time to call it what it is. Don’t play the naming game.
Become what you were born to be and be it unashamed.
“Go away, little boy,” I can hear them say,
“Everybody on the block says they think you’re gay.
Hold on, my friend, do you think we’re blind?
Take a look at yourself. You’re not our kind.”

Too black, too white, too short, too tall,
too big, too green, too red, too small.
I said you don’t belong. You don’t belong.
Too black, too white, too short, too tall,
too blue, too green, too red, too small.
I heard that song for much to long.

Ain’t this my sun? Ain’t this my moon?
Ain’t this my world to be who I choose?
Ain’t this my song? Ain’t this my movie?
Ain’t this my world? I know I can do it.

People always ask me,
“Miss M, how did you get so far
on so little?” Shut up!
Well, I woke up one morning,
flossed my teeth and decided,
“Damn, I’m fierce!” You look good!
You can be just like me! A goddess? Yeah!
Don’t just pussy foot around and sit on your assets.
Unleash your ferocity upon an unsuspecting world.
Rise up and repeat after me: “I’m beautiful!” *

I

In my teens and twenties I really didn’t like my body image, I felt that I could be thinner and generally didn’t like the way I looked…so much so that I feel it affected my confidence and I hated having my photo took.

In my thirties I’ve lost weight…lol more probably due to the stresses of adulthood but I like my body and the way I look…and my SO definitely loves my body…unless I’m mis-interpreting his body language lol :-) I do have flaws…a consequence of having two children, who are now teenagers…but it really doesn’t bother me any more.

I think maybe people reach their thirties and become more accepting of themselves…just as long as I don’t become too complacent and let this good figure go…I’m definitely going to fight the ageing process and enjoy my body while I can…and I’m sure my SO will agree with my determination to not have a ‘muffin top’!

I hate the way I look but my SO says he loves it, never says a negative thing. I was always thin but now i’m not. I don’t worry about it, he says it loves it whatever shape I’m in, and I’m planning to do some program to lose and get fit.

My SO, when I was with him, had nothing good to say about the way I looked, ever. He also said after we broke up, that he had always hated my cooking. Looking back, I wonder what the hell I was thinking. I was in love and married to him. He was not in love with me, and certainly not committed to me in any way. The only thing he cared about was getting his next fix.
Girls, if you’re with someone who is good to you, treasure him. If you’re with someone who doesn’t treat you well, move on. You might as well be alone.

He loves everything, even the things I hate. And vice versa with him. I think it’s amazing and wonderful.

She says nice things about my b o d y, but I’ll never tell.

Great joke about the body!

A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment, all of his own, he went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

While there, an stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with Him.

As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, ‘Let’s go to my apartment, I hear someone coming.’

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now nude, she purred at him, ‘What would you say is my best feature?’

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked,
‘It’s got to be your ears.’

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, ‘My ears?!?!?’’
Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100% natural.
I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid.
I have a 28 inch waist.
Look at my skin – not a blemish anywhere.

How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?’

Clearing his throat, he stammered….

‘Outside, when you said you heard someone coming…....

that was me…...

My boyfriend gives me plenty of compliments and is always commenting on my clothing or my looks and telling me I’m cute/sexy etc. I love it. :) If anything, it just improves my body image, but I’ve always had a pretty positive body image, so it isn’t really necessary, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like hearing it. I definitely do. Of course there are things about my appearance that I like less, but they don’t bother him.

Likewise, I praise him all the time and he hasn’t always had a positive body image. Even the things about him that he doesn’t like that much I do like. It honestly doesn’t bother me. And I would never complain about his appearance unless it was truly awful, which it’s never been. Frankly, I don’t like the sound of a relationship where one partner complains about the other’s appearance. Sure, you can make suggestions for things that you find attractive, but to actually complain about it seems kind of assholish.

I’ve always had a terrible body image no matter what anyone says, I’ll always find something wrong. My boyfriend always tells me I look great or I’m beautiful, and I want to believe him but…it feels weird to think positively about myself. Weird much? I guess I feel conceited if I do lol. But yeah it is kind of a big deal to me wether or not I look nice to him and I really hope he’s not just saying some things he says to be nice…

I must be way nicer than y’all think sometimes, because every partner I’ve ever been with—always, and without exception—has always been very complimentary towards it. And I really don’t deserve compliments on that basis. Well, maybe on some bases… but certainly not all of them.

Between the time we met and now, I have gone from 155 lbs to 255 lbs (pregnant with second) and down to 180 lbs (the weight I am now)...the way he looks at me, the way he speaks of my body has never changed, has never been anything but ‘you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen’, has never affected our sex life, our love life…I wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t live it…I have always been pretty hard on myself about the weight gain and loss of certain skills or hobbies…he has always been supportive and helped me along with getting my life back on track…I wouldn’t be able to make the necessary changes for myself and my body if it wasn’t for his unwavering love.

@BoBo1946 Good joke.

@Adirondackwannabe thank you….

absolutely nothing – and I must admit I’m not bad to look at

@Simone_De_Beauvoir, How lovely. I’m sure you deserve to be so well loved.

Amazing answers, people! Kudos!

It makes me realize how important words about one’s body are. It’s not just words, but actions, too. Anybody could compliment me. I tend to dismiss that—well, it just doesn’t matter. But when my SO acts like my body is the hottest thing—then I actually feel hot. When she’s all over me, I know she really thinks I’m attractive.

Women say it’s the intellect that counts, or the personality, and that may be true. Whatever it takes to get her into me. But she can offer the most fabulous compliments in the world—if she doesn’t actively demonstrate love for my body, and especially particular parts of it, then I feel like a potted plant.

@wundayatta I’m the same way. It sounds cliche but actioins really do speak way louder than words.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir =)

My lady and I both had self-image problems and both for the same reason, injuries. Two broken toys. She was the most beautiful lady in the world and I told her so many times each day. I never was much to look at, and shrapnel didn’t improve things. She was a fan of Edgar Rice Burroughs; would touch my scars and say “my warrior”.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir ((big hugs))

If I had one I doubt that they would respect my body. I don’t so why should they.

No complaints. Usually just lots of compliments, and not just about my boobs and butt (although, those seem to be the most common) he compliments me on my face, or hair..or if I look good in an outfit or in my glasses.
I know he’d always be honest with me. And I’m always honest with him. He wanted to lose weight not too long ago and asked me if I thought he should. And, given his family history, I felt that yeah he was getting “out of shape” so, he dieted properly and has lost I think at least ten or so pounds. He looks great. He wants to lose a little more, but is waiting for me to have the baby so we can start a routine together.

The entire time I was married I was told I needed to tone up, needed to shave more often, smelled unpleasant after exercise, had bad hair, etc. Whenever I had a zit or blemish or anything else I was teased mercilessly and expected to endure it with a smile. The end result? An incredible self-consciousness about every physical thing about me.

My current man seems to love all the things my husband hated and/or made fun of. He likes my figure. He likes my sounds and smells – even after the gym. I am still trying to get used to this new appreciation for who I am physically.

@SuperMouse every time I hear stories like that of your ex husband and his assbaggery, I think ‘how dare he? how dare anybody?’..as if he was Adonis.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir
Yeah, how dare he? Like he was Adonis!! AS IF!!!
@SuperMouse: I will go hurt him, if you tell me where he went.

Even if someone has been nice to my body, if they never said anything about liking it,
I didn’t like that so much. Not at all. I’m a word person. I need those.

@SuperMouse sounds like version 2.0 is a major upgrade.

We’re not really that much into physical attributes or lack thereof.

My wife seems to love my body as it is. She objects when I make disparaging comments about my portliness. Her comments make me feel good. My perception of my body is fairly accurate and I know I would be better off if I could lose a significant amount of weight.

I do not allow my negative body image to damage or diminish my self-esteem. Being a male, that is easier than if I were female in our society.

My SO is amazing when it comes to my body. (In more ways then one you could say) When I feel insecure or complain about the “imperfections” that I believe are on my body, he turns around with the complete opposite telling me how wonderful these things are and why he loves them. He makes me feel good about my body image, no matter how much a may think differently. Before I had him I had a hard time with my body mainly because I have no real figure, I am skinny but not very curvy, and I also had problems with my breast size. Even though others don’t usually say something about it, it always felt like I was less wanted by other guys or not as pretty as the girls who were curvy with bigger breasts. This never completely destroyed my self esteem, but it would still bother me from time to time. With my SO I am virtually never bothered.

I don’t have the best body in the world, or the best anything really. But my boyfriend never says anything bad about me and always says I look great. I work hard for what I have got. He has the perfect body image and there is nothing wrong with any part of him.

There’s not much in my appearance that is worthy of complement. I look like something Dr. Frankenstein stitched together on a bad day. The only traits that I could be complimented on (and was) are caring, loyalty and gentleness with my mate. Sort of like a good guard dog, I guess (a pit bull with a 188 IQ?).

My partner thinks they tell me all the time how much they like the way I look while I wonder most of the time what they think. Our communication styles are very different but I’ve come to accept the grin on their face to mean all is well.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land I love your posts here, “my warrior” is so beautiful. You guys must be amazing :)